Last step.
I stumbled and just fell down with the weight of what would be coming. Originally was looking to see how others might have dealt with soul crushing sorrow. Didnt take long and I was pathing suicide methods. There is alot of, plastic?, out there. Reading doesnt take me long to find real pain, in some odd way it seemed like you had to have it to see it. There was an in depth post on an inert gas attempt, the thread was genuine, was my first look at SaSu, then I found the boards and just stopped dumbfounded, page after page of full range loss, frustration, apathy, and emotion. There were brilliant minds, quiet ones, sarcastic, humor, love, and no one was hiding, no masking what they shared.
IF there was going to be any saving grace to where I was at, it would be found here. I could scoff at therapy, doubt intentions, be wary of all I met, but not here, not these people. Im aware there are some here that are not genuine, and some that are predators…I can not imagine any different as the feelings here are real and give credence to the depth of a human soul. It is my opinion the moderators here due an outstanding job of finding those folks and offer a quick exit through lifes brightest door for them to live elsewhere, so have to say hats off to SaSu staff effort.
Pulling on that dark thread of predators, I'll just pull a lighter out for that irish penance, as Im working on my humility. Tough road at times but I know the last step will be here soon enough.