how did u find this site?

[Redacted24]

I was researching methods and found an article on the US National Public Radio site that mentioned this site, it didn't include specifics but it had enough detail that searching for those led me here.

And nearly three years later I haven't pulled the trigger (so to speak) because of the discovery that I'm not alone in my feelings, and the kindness I've received and support I've gotten here has made so much positive difference for me.
Thank you, community members, for being kind!

 

[lastappleonearth]

Articles, but the name of the site wasn't mentioned, so I asked AI and got it immediately

 

[suicidalalcoholic]

some guy on reddit

 

[Cauliflour]

Page 11 of google.

I'm not kidding, like a year ago I searched up "pro self harm forums" and went far into google's search pages to find some niche website and it linked some sasu post about pro self harm discords I believe and I felt like I had found something special.

 

[ih34rty0u]

from reddit i think, i was desperate for suicide methods lmao

 

[7BLue7]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

An article warning people not to use this site. They never stated the name of it, but they gave an excessive amount of details to the point where it took me 2 Google searches to find it lol.

 

[euphoria_wishes]

Googled methods to ctb, there was a news talking about the dangers of this site... ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ It was in 2020 or 2021 but I signed up just yesterday.

 

[cherrydrpepper147]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

I found it on Twitter in Suicidetwt. When searching it up on Google, of course it wouldn't show it for shit and give me a number. So I just enter it but searching it up on Wikipedia and clicking the link.

 

[UglyLife82]

The YouTube videos hating on it, funnily enough

 

[AuraByte]

A certain YouTube video lol.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

From the channel 4 documentary on kenneth law and after researching more about it online i found out what the forum was called

 

[Scramble]

Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

It is ironic indeed. I found this site via a news article, I think it was the BBC, about the story of a member of this site who CTB'd in 2018. The article did not name the site of course but it gave enough hints so I was able to find it.

 

[cowlover1252]

Found a news article saying a "pro suicide forum" was "encouraging" people to commit suicide. They made this site sound like a cult

 

[FluffIsJustice]

Was searching up something related (don't remember what exactly) and came across some threads in this forum (I do use DuckDuckGo instead of Google, so it was the first result). The discussions in the threads made me sign up instantly. Only found out from the response on the forum how the media portrays it.

 

[EternalShore]

i'm curious on how everybody found this forum. in my opinion it's pretty hard nowadays to find such communities online because of how heavily restricted everything is on the internet.

personally, it was thanks to a YA novel titled "I Was Here" that talks about a girl investigating her best friend's suicide and found out she was on an online forum (such as SaSu). It featured and explained terms like "CTB", "SI", and showcased the general vibe of this website and how it worked, but it never gave any names. I read it in 2023, at a time where i was heavily (as usual) depressed and hopeless, so I dug around online desperately trying to find if such a forum actually existed. Lo and behold I end up finding this site.

fun fact, i made my account back then but only lurked once or twice because i was too scared i think, and i wasnt in a place back then where ctb was an option i could seriously consider. never tried to use the site again.

Until a couple weeks ago lol. obviously ive been in a bad place multiple times in between, but this time im the most serious about it than ive ever been. i remembered the existence of a site but couldnt for the life of me remember its name, so I had to dig around again for quite some time and find it in some NYT article talking about SN and SaSu. I always thought that back in 2023, i lurked as a guest and never made an account, so then i tried registering an account using the same username and email as I did 3 years ago (having completely forgotten that i did), and was so shocked to see that it said the email was already in use. i then logged in instead and there u have it. it made me extremely sad to see that in 3 years, i hadn't changed a bit, down to the username i used on such a site that i never use anywhere else, and even the password that i got right on the first try.

Oh well. i talked a bunch but anyway, just wanna know what's yall's story on how you stumbled upon such a place :)


Side note: i find it incredibly ironic that in an attempt to raise awareness around the concept of ctb (and discouraging people from it through emotional stories), as well as around the existence of such online communities to avoid them and put them to shame, it ended up steering people towards it instead

Woah~ I've never heard of that book before! I already put a hold on it because I want to know what they say about this type of site! hehe~ >:3 and wow, it's honestly kinda crazy how you picked the same name and password that you had when you first signed up here! That's really neat! ^_^ altho, it is quite unfortunate that you still feel that same way after so long~ :( I wish you the best~ <3

 

[tomame]

i like finding communities that think the way i do. i'm also apart of an online ED community. i just did some googling research to see if there were such a community and found it

 

[jdogg60]

Researching on gun projection for an absolute death and stumble across this website. Was so surprised that this kind of website existed, and it gave me such a relief, like I now have a solid plan B and don't have to go through trial and error leading to my ctb.

Same. Was desperately searching duckduckgo for how to aim. Also felt relief when I found it. After browsing around a bunch I dug into SN and shifted towards that.

 

[selfsabotage]

At first I saw the channel 4 documentary on Kenneth Law. The forum wasn't named and neither was the poison but I went looking for it. I came across another YouTube video from a user called Tantacrul. I'm pretty sure someone named the site in the comments. I don't think it was mentioned in the video but I could be wrong. I haven't seen the video in over a year so I can't remember.
Without these videos I don't think I ever would have found this forum. I don't know how to feel about that.

again i find it super ironic. many people here said the same thing, that video led them here. i have seen it a couple years ago i think. in an effort to discourage people from going near this site or ctb they end up steering more people towards it

I googled 'exit bag tutorial' and SaSu was on the first page of results. But i knew about sn method from a big incel forum a year earlier.

if im not mistaken the incel forum is probably also led by the same people from this forum lol

 

[selfsabotage]

Woah~ I've never heard of that book before! I already put a hold on it because I want to know what they say about this type of site! hehe~ >:3 and wow, it's honestly kinda crazy how you picked the same name and password that you had when you first signed up here! That's really neat! ^_^ altho, it is quite unfortunate that you still feel that same way after so long~ :( I wish you the best~ <3

thank you for your response, you're the only one who said anything about my personal story rather than just respond to the question i asked! (altho i dont mind, im just happy someone took the time to engage a bit more :) ) from what i remember i liked the book, but i was like 16 and would read anything YA lmao so idk how id feel about it now. hope u do enjoy it if u end up reading it ^^!! yeah, quite crazy to me too lol, but i wish you the best as well!! <33

i like finding communities that think the way i do. i'm also apart of an online ED community. i just did some googling research to see if there were such a community and found it

it does feel good and relieving when you find a community of likeminded people who you know understand and wont judge you. and are even encouraging. i was on edtwt for some time it was enjoyable as well, just kinda lost interest over time i think, altho i still have my account lol

 

[lonergirl_26]

A bbc news article and Wikipedia

 

[EternalShore]

thank you for your response, you're the only one who said anything about my personal story rather than just respond to the question i asked! (altho i dont mind, im just happy someone took the time to engage a bit more :) ) from what i remember i liked the book, but i was like 16 and would read anything YA lmao so idk how id feel about it now. hope u do enjoy it if u end up reading it ^^!! yeah, quite crazy to me too lol, but i wish you the best as well!! <33

you're welcome! :) I'm glad you appreciated my interest~ ^_^ I've honestly not had great times with teen/adult fiction (too much erotic and depressing stuff) but hey, maybe it'll be good! hehe~ I'd like a story that's peaceful and funny~ :) as such, I tend to prefer early chapter books and certain types of manga~ >_< thank you! :)

 

[dearn]

IVe always been on suicide/selfharm community ( suicidetwt, shedtwt /table etc.. ). I found this website with socials medias

 

[suicidalyuri]

the wikipedia article of the site. the url is in plain sight and I clicked on it
I was searching sth like "suicide forum" and the wikipedia article instantly appeared

 

[ToothFairy]

Found the SaSu Wiki page while i was searching on Google about suicide and opened the domain linked in the page

 

[popbob]

Tantacrul's video about the website lol

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

One of my friends on the r/antinatalism discord server used to use it and it was talked about to a degree back in 2020/2021. Decided to make a account in 2022.

Tantacrul's video about the website lol

I find it kinda fucking hilariously depressing that a shitton of people found this website via tantracrul's video

 

[coralreefer]

Found it through a video that was actually demonizing the site lol. He was talking about how horrible it was and called it SS, so I did some googling and found the full site name within 10 mins. Ridiculous really, but happy to be here nonetheless.

Tantacrul's video about the website lol

OMG YES THAT WAS HIS NAME

 

[cctt23]

reddit/nyt article

 

[lonely_potato]

I think I originally found it on a reddit discussion. Can't remember the subreddit now since it's been many years. I've lurked here on and off over the years, but find myself returning.

 

[GoldenTicket]

By looking for effective ctb methods a couple years ago, found out about the exit bag method and it intrigued me as back then my chosen method was drowning, when I dug a little more certain sources linked to this site.