How detached from life are you?

[BlendedHeart]

Since I arrived on SS, I've read a lot of threads in which people express whatever retain them here.

"I wanna ctb, but I think of my parents/partner/family/friends"

"I wanna ctb, but I still have hope of recovering"

"I wanna ctb, but I'm looking forward to this movie/tv show/book/other type of media"

(That last one isn't in jest, I've actually read it here somewhere. I'm not trying to mock anyone. We all have different lives and reasons to be alive/or to want to leave)

Is there something/someone still retaining you in this earth, or are you ready to go and have no more restraints on this plane of existence? How detached/desensitized to life are you?

(This is, of course, without counting survival instinct, or the fact that a proper CTB method is very hard to find)

 

[ireallywasnttogopls]

ive thought very deeply, considered everything, and I know that ctb will ultimately be the superior choice for me'

probably is survival instinct, I'm also scared of the pain with my chosen method (full suspension hanging)

but once I get over this, then I have won

 

[Quietist]

I'm basically ready to go, but I don't have a foolproof way out.

I live with my elderly father and thought he still had his guns, but turns out he sold them.

So really the only thing holding me back is fear of failure/surviving disabled.

 

[violetforever]

i dont even feel like talking to anyone anymore. right now i cant be bothered to text anyone or answer texts. i really am ready to go. i just need a method please.

 

[TwoSoulsLiveInMe]

I feel completely detached from life. I have no goals, and honestly no wants either. I've been going through the motions for months now, after a lifetime of only fleeting and occasional happiness.

My main issue is I don't have a private enough place to ctb. I have never lived alone, but I can't imagine being able to ctb anywhere other than at home, without the possibility of interruption.

Another major aspect is the feeling that I haven't earned it yet. I've attempted before, and struggled with my mental health for the majority of my life. But for about 2 years I thought I had recovered, and really bought in to the idea of living a happy life. That future was recently ripped out from under me. I'm slowly settling back into these familiar murky waters. This suicidal ideation and paralyzing depression is so familiar, but something in me is saying I've been through worse, and it would be weak to ctb now.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

fear of failure and remaining alive with even more damage is the only thing keeping me from attempting to kill myself.

i don't want anything from evil life or this evil world but to escape it asap .

i fear remaining alive with more damage after an attempt.

no method i have is 100% gauranteed. so fear of failure is the only thing keeping me from attempting to kill myself.

that's why never being born is best because no method can be 100% guaranteed especially after the monsters made every guaranteed method a crime like Nembutal , sarco, hiring someone to shoot me .

so i have to do all this effort to kill myself and take the largest risk all because i was brought to this hell against my will i didn't ask for to be here.

 

[sanctionedusage]

gotta lose weight

 

[DisIsDaPhoenyx]

I'm ready to go, I'm just waiting on my special date.

There's a couple things I still have to wait to get here, and a few strings I want to tie off with a nice bow but other than that I'm cool.

I'm scared, of course, that is may fail or I may get caught before the attempt but in my mind it's better to try because if not than I'm stuck living anyway.

 

[darksouls]

I am ready to go, my beloved pets have all left me, I have no more responsibilities, no children, no social contacts

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

i feel very detached but one thing does make feel retained here. it is strange that theatre, pretending to be someone else with a different life, is the only time i feel actually truly alive. i only want to be myself when i am someone else? it is very strange. but i do love theatre, i love it so much, but i dont know if i love it enough to stay alive.

 

[Agon321]

I've said many times that I'll soon be done with life, but I'm still here.
I've taken a break from this page and generally haven't been active much, but as you can see, I'm still breathing.
Interestingly, my mental health is at its worst in the history of my life, but somehow I think about death less and less.
Indifference is becoming more and more prevalent within me.
Of course, sooner or later I'll kill myself because I can't live like this much longer, but that moment hasn't come yet.
Or maybe the world will kill me because I'm not taking care of myself.