How can one know if they're actually a bad person?

[Ambivalent1]

I realized that a lot of villains are formed from childhood trauma, frequent mistreatment by others, and a misanthropic attitude.

I've always viewed myself as pretty neutral. I rarely go out of my way to help people, but I'm not out looking for people to hurt either.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

I think the concept of bad people and villains in the real world is really interesting. What differentiates us from the monsters that lurk around us? The child abusers, the murderers, and the rapists.

Personally, as someone who is heavily influenced by "childhood trauma, frequent mistreatment by others, and a misanthropic attitude" I have struggled at times to be a good person and to not fall into what I'd consider to be a villain. I struggle with thoughts of doing bad things to people out of rage or apathy and find myself not doing those things not because it's wrong but rather because I'm afraid of the consequences.

But how much does intent matter versus tangible action? If someone does things that help people but only for their own benefit and they actually secretly hate the people are they a worse or better person than the person who does harmful things on accident despite trying their best to do well?

It's difficult to say and these vague concepts only get more defined answers in specific contexts, with specific victims, observers, and pasts.

A villain in someone's story is a hero in another person's because people treat others differently. Maybe my abusive father was really helpful to one of his friends. Would such a positive action in any way mitigate the awful things he's done to me or my sister, or do negative actions hold more weight than positive ones?

It's such a hard-to-define concept and yet when we point to people's actions and thoughts many can have a gut feeling as to whether they're a good or bad person. Personally, I have no idea if I'm good or bad, and I think everyone is some kind of uncomfortable mix of both.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I think the concept of bad people and villains in the real world is really interesting. What differentiates us from the monsters that lurk around us? The child abusers, the murderers, and the rapists.

Personally, as someone who is heavily influenced by "childhood trauma, frequent mistreatment by others, and a misanthropic attitude" I have struggled at times to be a good person and to not fall into what I'd consider to be a villain. I struggle with thoughts of doing bad things to people out of rage or apathy and find myself not doing those things not because it's wrong but rather because I'm afraid of the consequences.

But how much does intent matter versus tangible action? If someone does things that help people but only for their own benefit and they actually secretly hate the people are they a worse or better person than the person who does harmful things on accident despite trying their best to do well?

It's difficult to say and these vague concepts only get more defined answers in specific contexts, with specific victims, observers, and pasts.

A villain in someone's story is a hero in another person's because people treat others differently. Maybe my abusive father was really helpful to one of his friends. Would such a positive action in any way mitigate the awful things he's done to me or my sister, or do negative actions hold more weight than positive ones?

It's such a hard-to-define concept and yet when we point to people's actions and thoughts many can have a gut feeling as to whether they're a good or bad person. Personally, I have no idea if I'm good or bad, and I think everyone is some kind of uncomfortable mix of both.

People's go-to response to me when I enter a place seems to be negative. I'm not huge in a muscly sense or scary from my perspective, but I've been told I have presence and seem cold. So separate from my actions, I'd be considered a villain? If so, do my actions even matter? I can do good and it'd still cause people to feel uneasy.

 

[ArchmagePrincess]

People's go-to response to me when I enter a place seems to be negative. I'm not huge in a muscly sense or scary from my perspective, but I've been told I have presence and seem cold. So separate from my actions, I'd be considered a villain? If so, do my actions even matter? I can do good and it'd still cause people to feel uneasy.

I think that's a very complicated question since there's the argument of whether or not the people are having an appropriate reaction.

There are times when someone can enter a room without doing any wrong actions yet and people are terrified for what I'd consider being okay reasons like that person doing wrong things in the past.

On the other hand, if someone's reason for feeling negative about someone immediately is because they're a certain race or gender, then I'd say it's the fault of the scared person.

This is further complicated by things like trauma. If someone has been traumatized by a certain kind of person and now has an involuntary reaction of fear of other people like them, like how I'm frightened by older men after suffering abuse from my father, am I in the wrong if I make someone feel upset because I prejudged them because of their unalienable trait?

There are so many factors and complications that I think ultimately people are perplexingly both in the right and in the wrong, just with different viewpoints. We can end up hurting others with good, bad, and neutral intentions. We can end up being perceived as scary or evil for good, bad, and neutral reasons.

A lot of our actions have roots in our own past traumas and experiences and I think it's hard to say if I'd lived the exact life my father did if I'd be as bad a person or not. Is it merely a coincidence I was not born a murderer?

Since I really don't know all the intimate details, I guess ask yourself what you think. Why do these people give you a negative response when you enter a place? Can you ask them if you don't know? Would you believe their answer? Is their reason a good or a bad one to you? Can you change something about the way you act or present to affect those reasons? Do you even want to?

 

[LastFlowers]

People's go-to response to me when I enter a place seems to be negative. I'm not huge in a muscly sense or scary from my perspective, but I've been told I have presence and seem cold. So separate from my actions, I'd be considered a villain? If so, do my actions even matter? I can do good and it'd still cause people to feel uneasy.

If they don't even know you, then it could be some prejudicial reaction to your appearance.
(Not that this doesn't happen despite knowing someone, it still does.)
Especially if it's right after you enter a place.

I think people are more than just their actions (thoughts, inner values, how their actions might betray who they really are) but how we commonly define a "villain" tends to be based on actions, sometimes without any thought about what might have led to those actions or the context surrounding them.

 

[hungry_ghost]

By examining their own conscience honestly and objectively and without justifying anything.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I learnt that I was an immoral person when I went through psychosis. I said and did horrible things, I'm just apathetic to it all now - I don't care how much of a shit human I am. We're all the same when we're in the dirt aren't we?

 

[Ambivalent1]

I learnt that I was an immoral person when I went through psychosis. I said and did horrible things, I'm just apathetic to it all now - I don't care how much of a shit human I am. We're all the same when we're in the dirt aren't we?

I think that's a very complicated question since there's the argument of whether or not the people are having an appropriate reaction.

There are times when someone can enter a room without doing any wrong actions yet and people are terrified for what I'd consider being okay reasons like that person doing wrong things in the past.

On the other hand, if someone's reason for feeling negative about someone immediately is because they're a certain race or gender, then I'd say it's the fault of the scared person.

This is further complicated by things like trauma. If someone has been traumatized by a certain kind of person and now has an involuntary reaction of fear of other people like them, like how I'm frightened by older men after suffering abuse from my father, am I in the wrong if I make someone feel upset because I prejudged them because of their unalienable trait?

There are so many factors and complications that I think ultimately people are perplexingly both in the right and in the wrong, just with different viewpoints. We can end up hurting others with good, bad, and neutral intentions. We can end up being perceived as scary or evil for good, bad, and neutral reasons.

A lot of our actions have roots in our own past traumas and experiences and I think it's hard to say if I'd lived the exact life my father did if I'd be as bad a person or not. Is it merely a coincidence I was not born a murderer?

Since I really don't know all the intimate details, I guess ask yourself what you think. Why do these people give you a negative response when you enter a place? Can you ask them if you don't know? Would you believe their answer? Is their reason a good or a bad one to you? Can you change something about the way you act or present to affect those reasons? Do you even want to?

The negative reactions make me nervous because I have PTSD and interpret their reactions as a threat. How do I live with that?

 

[macrocosm]

ses or behaviors.

Also not all victims become 'bad people'. Some are the opposite and become protective and supportive, some just live in internal pain, some move on and live in relative peace with themselves and others.

You're not bad if you don't meet socially expected norms. So not helping others doesn't make you bad

 

[Ambivalent1]

Also not all victims become 'bad people'. Some are the opposite and become protective and supportive, some just live in internal pain, some move on and live in relative peace with themselves and others.

You're not bad if you don't meet socially expected norms. So not helping others doesn't make you bad

What quote of mine are you quoting?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm guessing that the REALLY bad people in the world probably don't even realise that they are. Or- they simply don't have enough empathy to care- sociopaths/psychopaths.

Is there a difference between doing bad things and being a bad person? How many bad things do you need to do to make you a bad person? If you have a conscience and feel bad about the bad things you've done- does that mean you've become a better person? I suppose my definition might be someone who does something bad- either knowing it was bad or not. Then- after finding out- via self realisation or because of how others react- they continue to behave in the same way- because- presumably- it benefits them.

I suspect most people are either neutral, or good people but with some bad traits. Still, most things we do in life involve a decision. We probably do know the better way to behave- I suppose it just depends on the damage we are prepared to inflict to get what we want as to just how good or bad we are.

 

[endless_pain]

I realized that a lot of villains are formed from childhood trauma, frequent mistreatment by others, and a misanthropic attitude.

I've always viewed myself as pretty neutral. I rarely go out of my way to help people, but I'm not out looking for people to hurt either.

You know it when your gut tells you so, or when they are manipulative showing no empathy or remorse for their actions hurting you recklessly

 

[macrocosm]

What quote of mine are you quoting?

I think I made an assumption linking your first statement to your last, even though you mentioned that you see yourself as neutral.

 

[Anonymus]

Within what is determinism there are no bad people, it's a concept that only makes sense if you believe in free will. In other words, no one can avoid being the way they are and that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person.

But if you want another type of answer, here it is, a bad person is the one who acts against the community in which he lives, a good person is the one who acts for the benefit of the community... and that's why, for many people , we are bad people.

//

Dins del que és el determinisme no existeixen les males persones, és un concepte que només te sentit si creus en el lliure albir. És a dir, ningú pot evitar ser com és i això no el fa necessàriament una mala persona.

Però si vols un altre tipus de resposta te la donc, una mala persona és la que actúa en contra de la comunitat on viu, una bona persona és la que actúa en benefici de la comunitat... i per això, per a molta gent, nosaltres sóm males persones.

 

[OceanBlue]

You could try these books:

The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil Philip Zimbardo

Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty Roy F. Baumeister