Venting How can I accept the pain and leave

[endless_pain]

Like now I want to ctb but I don't have the means to do it.
And when I calm down to plan I loose the drive to do it and I procrastinate believing it will get better.
I hate this cycle it's torture.

 

[itsjustm3]

Wow... me too. I didn't know there's someone who felt the same thing.
There are times when the pain in my life become too unbearable I was ready to CTB then afterward I was just like whatever. Then I proceed to busy myself by doing whole lot of nothing to distracted my brain from thinking it.

I guess it just like you said we're auto piloting to keep ourselves alive to see if there's any light at the end of the tunnel. And it is a vicious cycle. :(

 

[endless_pain]

Wow... me too. I didn't know there's someone who felt the same thing.
There are times when the pain in my life become too unbearable I was ready to CTB then afterward I was just like whatever. Then I proceed to busy myself by doing whole lot of nothing to distracted my brain from thinking it.

I guess it just like you said we're auto piloting to keep ourselves alive to see if there's any light at the end of the tunnel. And it is a vicious cycle. :(

Yes exactly you got me

 

[unnormal9]

I also understand the cycle, however I cannot pin point the anchor at which this begins.

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree that life is just a cycle of endless suffering, it's so cruel how we cannot just pass away in peace and free ourselves from this burden. I'm also tired of feeling trapped here, the thought of not existing forever is beautiful to me but sadly it feels like a distance away. But it's true that in such a hellish world any hope is a delusion to just lead to more suffering once it's taken away, existing is something completely hopeless in reality.