How badly do you want to die?

[wanttodie]

i want to die vary badly every day thank about 24-7

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

10/10 wishes to die. 10.5/10 survival instinct.

 

[bbq1]

Next time he asks you, run past him and crash through the window head first and take a chance on how many floors it is. Just shout 9.9 as you drop.

See what he says about that.

 

[Punished snake]

I honestly recognize that I don't want it enough. If I wanted it so badly I'd have already CTBed the same day I bought the gear. I still have distractions, too many distractions that make me numb despite me knowing my life is shit

 

[Psychospazz91]

Currently, about a 7. It gets as bad as 9-10 on occasions, and as good as a 3-4 on others. But its always a battle, and I'm tired if fighting. Also, I have made some really terrible mistakes and hurt some amazing people for selfish reasons.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Not nearly enough.

I know being dead is better, but I'm so lazy, soft and stupid that I'm still waiting to be pushed off. I'm just another dumb lump of shit like most everybody else, I guess. But I think there's something in knowing that I'm a dumb lump of shit. Most people don't seem to know it. Somehow I think that gives me some sort of an edge.

See how dumb? An edge to keep on in something I don't even like.

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

I want to die, and have made peace with myself that I will most likely ctb soon. I just need to get what I need for hanging.

 

[Pointlessabyss]

It varies for me, sometimes it can be as low as a 6 on a good day (rarely) but it's been increasing recently where I'm have 9-10 days more often, why I'm working on the plan and awaiting on the stuff to arrive before getting things in place.

The bad days seem to override the good atm I'm gonna see how I feel when I hold the SN in my hand, as much as I plan I can see it being impulsive.

 

[Final Escape]

I don't want to die but my future is bleak and I want to take control of my ending before I won't be able to afford to.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I don't want to fail again.

 

[dartanian]

Sad part is I don't want to. I have to. There's no way a woman can live on this planet with no hair. Men can get away with it but a woman is seen as broken and less than. People pity her and I would never want to be pitied or be a freak of nature.

I am not judging or telling you are wrong to choose any option.
but, in my opinion and I believe a lot of people (and more importantly men as I understand you are straight) will agree that a woman can be very sexy without hair, completely bold.
I had a girlfriend who shove her head completely and it was damn sexy.
why? my explanation will be that when a women is bold all her curves are more prominent.
That is way more important for men than hair.
and for any of these things there are solutions like working out or implants.
I totally believe a woman can be pretty and sexy and desired more than one with hair.

look how beautiful they look. how bold and juicy their lips appear when there is no hair.

what ever you choose is fine.
but if you choose to ctb go with a smile knowing you are beautiful.

edit:
not to mention that bold woman is also sexy as it shows she is strong.
She is strong and brave to overcome an harsh illness or strong and brave to be unique and different.
These traits are very sexy in a woman. Showing she has personality and fun to be with doing unordinary things

 

[throwaway123]

i want to be dead but i dont want to die

I guess everyone who is still here feels that way.

 

[Maravillosa]

How badly do I want to die at this minute? Maybe a 3.
How badly do I want to ctb at some point in my life? Probably an 8.

 

[wagram]

100%. I'm ready. Can't stand this life anymore. Can't stand the hurt. It's what keep going, that I will end it all soon.

 

[samhelloall9]

Not enough to do it on my own. I'm a wuss (scaredy cat). Plus, I lack materials and peaceful methods. That could change if someone responds to one of my posts in the appropriate Mega thread. Sadly it's been months now.
Maybe nobody's coming for me, then again hard to know how many have had real success out of that.
Sigh. That's the nature and risk of relying on someone else.

 

[samhelloall9]

So badly I'm desperately seeking an a fellow Australian partner. It's so hard and nobody wants to partner up it seems locally. Sigh. It sucks so much. Everyone's only ordering enough n for one. Sigh. So selfish.

 

[Mari]

Sad part is I don't want to. I have to. There's no way a woman can live on this planet with no hair. Men can get away with it but a woman is seen as broken and less than. People pity her and I would never want to be pitied or be a freak of nature.

My mom wears a wig and I know it's embarrassing for her. Sorry you're going through that, maybe hats, hoods, fancy turbans might ease the situation for a while..
Any case, you're not alone.

 

[Shay]

My mom wears a wig and I know it's embarrassing for her. Sorry you're going through that, maybe hats, hoods, fancy turbans might ease the situation for a while..
Any case, you're not alone.

That stinks. It's what I was afraid of. Constant embarrassment about it. Hats won't work for me and all.

 

[Schopenhauer]

How badly I want to die, from 0 to 10? 10!

 

[Mari]

Currently, about a 7. It gets as bad as 9-10 on occasions, and as good as a 3-4 on others. But its always a battle, and I'm tired if fighting. Also, I have made some really terrible mistakes and hurt some amazing people for selfish reasons.

That stinks. It's what I was afraid of. Constant embarrassment about it. Hats won't work for me and all.

Not that other people neither know or notice, actually. It's just her who feels that way about it. Although if I were in that situation, I'd probably go for bald and earrings + makeup.

 

[Mari]

I don't want to die but I also don't want to live this kind of life I'm in. So well. How badly do I NOT want to live from 0 to 10, 10.

 

[Shay]

Not that other people neither know or notice, actually. It's just her who feels that way about it. Although if I were in that situation, I'd probably go for bald and earrings + makeup.

I can't do bald. I had long thick hair for my whole life. This is so sad to me

 

[Schopenhauer]

I can't do bald. I had long thick hair for my whole life. This is so sad to me

That sucks. There should be a solution for baldness.

 

[Mari]

I can't do bald. I had long thick hair for my whole life. This is so sad to me

I'm so sorry, dear ):

I actually did go bald once - twice in fact. By choice. But I understand it can be very tough to live with.

 

[Mari]

That sucks. There should be a solution for baldness.

There is such a thing as hair transplants, but that's a project to commit to, expensive as well.

 

[Mr2005]

When I wake up is the worst. I just get this feeling of dread and never want to get out of bed

 

[AndyCurious]

I don't mind being bald, some people doesn't like me anyway so.. But about me die, it's an 7 I think...

 

[dartanian]

I can't do bald. I had long thick hair for my whole life. This is so sad to me

have you tried to get hgh or other kind of hormones that might cause your body to regrow your hair back?
I would say that as it really matters to you it might be worth to try and play a little bit with steroids.
Maybe some kind of hormones will help you get your hair back. Like when you were younger and your hormones levels were higher.
There are risks though but it still might be worth them.
Good luck!

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

Very very very badly, i feel trapped every day that goes on. I thought i was close to liberation after ordering Nembutal, but after 40days i still didn't get anything, probably the customs, starting to feel really really desperate and frustrated, especially that i have 0 second thought about killing myself, i'm sure of my decision and dead set on executing it, yet i still can't find any reliable method (guns are also illegal in my country). I would say 9/10 too.

If i had Nembutal i'd drink it right now, but i still wouldn't say 10/10 since that would be "jumping on the train level tonight, whatever the risks" and i'm still not willing to risk ending as a vegetable or getting caught in the tracks.

 

[deathoverlife]

I wish I died the moment that fuckin heart attack took my husband.. just holding on for my child. have some unfinished business.. this month would be my last in this world. I am determined about it. Would be using heliun for my exit. picking up my cylinder this week end. worried about my girl. at times I feel to take her with me.. the thought it self tears me inside out. but then am terrified to leave her alone in this big bad world. am so terrified and confused. I so want to die..!! done with this life