Discussion How are you arranging your pre and post CTB?

[aunaltravita]

Are you leaving any notes? Do you care if the police will analyze your digital devices? Are you leaving money (for those who can) to your close ones (if you have any)? Are you thinking about funeral/cremation expenses?

I'm personally thinking about getting SN (will do a separate thread about it), booking an Airbnb for 2 days. Leaving a note to my mother alongside some cash, cuz bank accounts will be frozen. Will send her a farewell message before CTB I guess, or maybe a pre-progranned message and then do whatever method I'll go for (hopefully SN). I'd like to be cremated honestly. Will buy a new phone, hide the old one with the cash, I don't like police sniffing my data as in the country I'm in they will do a forensic copy for ALL your devices, to rule out homicide and/or to reconstruct how you CTBed. In reality, they will do it to find out HOW you did it, especially if you bought illegal substances etc etc

I'm starting to arrange everything for my CTB hopefully in the beginning of next year. Deadset on it, won't change my mind unless for a real judicial miracle in court but I doubt it.

You arranging something before? I guess that from how different each live can be, I think that some of you don't really care about arranging anything.
(Honestly, I'm 50/50 on cleaning things up before, just for my mother)

 

[Emily1021]

I have about 7k for my partner. I don't want a funeral or anything like that. Leaving him a note for sure. I thought about leaving something for my boss from work because she's been such a spectacular person and I know it will hit her hard so maybe some closure there will help her.

 

[aunaltravita]

I have about 7k for my partner. I don't want a funeral or anything like that. Leaving him a note for sure. I thought about leaving something for my boss from work because she's been such a spectacular person and I know it will hit her hard so maybe some closure there will help her.

Did you decide on which method already? I have personally lurked a lot these past week

 

[Emily1021]

Did you decide on which method already? I have personally lurked a lot these past week

I'm leaning SN. There's a suitable bridge nearby but I want to avoid someone having to clean up all of that.

 

[chloeburbank]

im going to leave my money to my parents and write a note to my family. i need to research how to completely wipe my phone data but i think ill leave my laptop stuff intact.

i thought of getting an airbnb but didnt wanna trouble the owner with anything. probably going to ctb with sn at one of my favorite parks under a nice tree. also going to send a preprogrammed message to the police or something about my death cause i doubt anyone else would even realize i disappeared

 

[aunaltravita]

I'm leaning SN. There's a suitable bridge nearby but I want to avoid someone having to clean up all of that.

I'm leaning towards SN too because of its reliability. I wouldn't have the courage to jump surely...

im going to leave my money to my parents and write a note to my family. i need to research how to completely wipe my phone data but i think ill leave my laptop stuff intact.

i thought of getting an airbnb but didnt wanna trouble the owner with anything. probably going to ctb with sn at one of my favorite parks under a nice tree. also going to send a preprogrammed message to the police or something about my death cause i doubt anyone else would even realize i disappeared

You can't really delete anything from your device, even if you hard-reset it, cuz data will stay somewhere, unless You hard reset and keep using it for a while, because then the data would be overrided.

Forensics software are really powerful.
Also, social accounts data is always available if police actually asks for it, even if you delete all your social media accounts they will have a backup somewhere.

 

[HNR_]

I'll memorize my SaSu password before wiping it along with a couple of few personal things on my laptop you don't want randos to see, take a bunch of trains to go to the town where there's the spot I can jump from

When I arrive I'll go the hotel I would've booked days ago to check in, maybe take a shower, eat or relax then post the letter for my father explaining everything, somehow kill time until shortly before it's too late to check out of the hotel then do so

I'll head to the spot I'll jump from, maybe enjoy the view and relax there for a bit, donate all my money to charities (waiting till it's that late since I don't want my personal banker to reach out to either my father or I), edit my discord profile to heavily hint at me not longer being there by the time they read it, make one last thread about it on here then hope I don't struggle with SI, wipe my phone's history and take the final leap

 

[TAW122]

I'm not leaving any notes (I've explained before in previous threads or so and I'm not going into a long explanation here...), and as far as preparing for CTB, I'm making sure that I have things ready, both mentally and physically, as well as making sure that I find the right window of opportunity before I execute my plan. I don't have the best relations and terms with my family, so I am less fussed about leaving them and I also have no dependents nor SO, therefore, nobody is depending on me for their survival or so. I also have little friends or so IRL so besides one friend I visit maybe once in a blue moon or talk once in a while, I am not leaving behind much. Nevertheless, my decision is mine and mine alone; and it has less to deal with others but moreso about me giving the best odds of success (succeeding in my attempt), minimizing suffering, and no longer having to deal with all the problems I have until end of time. Whatever happens after I have CTB, it has no bearing on me and I cannot control how people will respond nor would I have the capacity to know the "aftermath". While it would be nice to take into consider the post-CTB outcome, I would not do so if it compromises my mission to succeed because if I am to CTB, I want to ensure that I succeed as failure would only make things worse (more suffering on top of existing problems) for me.

 

[aunaltravita]

You

I'll memorize my SaSu password before wiping it along with a couple of few personal things on my laptop you don't want randos to see, take a bunch of trains to go to the town where there's the spot I can jump from

When I arrive I'll go the hotel I would've booked days ago to check in, maybe take a shower, eat or relax then post the letter for my father explaining everything, somehow kill time until shortly before it's too late to check out of the hotel then do so

I'll head to the spot I'll jump from, maybe enjoy the view and relax there for a bit, donate all my money to charities (waiting till it's that late since I don't want my personal banker to reach out to either my father or I), edit my discord profile to heavily hint at me not longer being there by the time they read it, make one last thread about it on here then hope I don't struggle with SI, wipe my phone's history and take the final leap

You plan on taking anything to numb your SI before jumping? I could never do it I'm afraid of heights...

I'm not leaving any notes (I've explained before in previous threads or so and I'm not going into a long explanation here...), and as far as preparing for CTB, I'm making sure that I have things ready, both mentally and physically, as well as making sure that I find the right window of opportunity before I execute my plan. I don't have the best relations and terms with my family, so I am less fussed about leaving them and I also have no dependents nor SO, therefore, nobody is depending on me for their survival or so. I also have little friends or so IRL so besides one friend I visit maybe once in a blue moon or talk once in a while, I am not leaving behind much. Nevertheless, my decision is mine and mine alone; and it has less to deal with others but moreso about me giving the best odds of success (succeeding in my attempt), minimizing suffering, and no longer having to deal with all the problems I have until end of time. Whatever happens after I have CTB, it has no bearing on me and I cannot control how people will respond nor would I have the capacity to know the "aftermath". While it would be nice to take into consider the post-CTB outcome, I would not do so if it compromises my mission to succeed because if I am to CTB, I want to ensure that I succeed as failure would only make things worse (more suffering on top of existing problems) for me.

As long as you're determined, what's your method gon be?

 

[Forveleth]

Are you leaving any notes? Do you care if the police will analyze your digital devices? Are you leaving money (for those who can) to your close ones (if you have any)? Are you thinking about funeral/cremation expenses?

I keep writing notes and then shredding them. At this point, I think not leaving a note will hurt those that pushed me to this point more than if I wrote something hurtful. I always jokingly say that I hope the police enjoy my collection of furry porn when they dig through my computer. I have beneficiaries named for all of my money accounts and I have a burial plot and a burial shroud already paid for. Funerals are for the living, so the living can pay for mine. Also have a will, living will, power of attorney and medical power of attorney, all legally written down.

 

[aunaltravita]

I keep writing notes and then shredding them. At this point, I think not leaving a note will hurt those that pushed me to this point more than if I wrote something hurtful. I always jokingly say that I hope the police enjoy my collection of furry porn when they dig through my computer. I have beneficiaries named for all of my money accounts and I have a burial plot and a burial shroud already paid for. Funerals are for the living, so the living can pay for mine.

LOL they'll have fun with all that fur stuff.

About the notes, I think it depends really on you, i already know I'll explain a bit of why I'm doing it but surely I'll write something for my mother to keep.

"Funerals are for the living" and they're expensive, so I'll ask to be cremated ahahah

You chose a method already?

I keep writing notes and then shredding them. At this point, I think not leaving a note will hurt those that pushed me to this point more than if I wrote something hurtful. I always jokingly say that I hope the police enjoy my collection of furry porn when they dig through my computer. I have beneficiaries named for all of my money accounts and I have a burial plot and a burial shroud already paid for. Funerals are for the living, so the living can pay for mine.

LOL they'll have fun with all that fur stuff.

About the notes, I think it depends really on you, i already know I'll explain a bit of why I'm doing it but surely I'll write something for my mother to keep.

"Funerals are for the living" and they're expensive, so I'll ask to be cremated ahahah

You chose a method already?

 

[HNR_]

You plan on taking anything to numb your SI before jumping? I could never do it I'm afraid of heights...

Nope, gotta do this totally sober

I'm not a heavy drinker so that's already a no, not that I couldn't get alcohol, I'm way over 18 but I really don't like it and I bet downing a bottle of some heavy stuff to make sure it kicks in fast would either make me puke, give me a massive headache or both
As for drugs, I also never touched that stuff nor do I know how to get some and even if I did know, I don't want my father to find this on me or get the cops on my ass over this
I don't even have access to sleeping pills

 

[aunaltravita]

Nope, gotta do this totally sober

I'm not a heavy drinker so that's already a no, not that I couldn't get alcohol, I'm way over 18 but I really don't like it and I bet downing a bottle of some heavy stuff to make sure it kicks in fast would either make me puke, give me a massive headache or both
As for drugs, I also never touched that stuff nor do I know how to get some and even if I did know, I don't want my father to find this on me or get the cops on my ass over this
I don't even have access to sleeping pills

Rawdogging it for real lol

I'll do something like that if I can't find all that I need for SN. You got a date?

 

[Forveleth]

About the notes, I think it depends really on you, i already know I'll explain a bit of why I'm doing it but surely I'll write something for my mother to keep.

I might write a note letting my parents know that my partner is a absolute shithead. They currently think he is a great guy, so this would most likely, pile more shit on him after I die, which would be a nice bonus.

"Funerals are for the living" and they're expensive, so I'll ask to be cremated ahahah

I went with a natural burial because it is extremely cheap and environmentally friendly. If I could pay a funeral home ahead of time for burial prep, I would, but unfortunately the plot and shroud are as far as I can go. If people left behind want to have some sort of ceremony or religious meeting concerning my death, that is up to them. I have paid to be dumped in a hole because that is what I want done.

You chose a method already?

I have a couple at my disposal, but I will most likely go with hanging.

 

[aunaltravita]

I might write a note letting my parents know that my partner is a absolute shithead. They currently think he is a great guy, so this would most likely, pile more shit on him after I die, which would be a nice bonus.

I went with a natural burial because it is extremely cheap and environmentally friendly. If I could pay a funeral home ahead of time for burial prep, I would, but unfortunately the plot and shroud are as far as I can go. If people left behind want to have some sort of ceremony or religious meeting concerning my death, that is up to them. I have paid to be dumped in a hole because that is what I want done.

I have a couple at my disposal, but I will most likely go with hanging.

Full hanging seems reliable af.

You've been for 2 years, what's keeping you from CTB? In my case, I tried to go all in in life and actually achieve something but it's just so painful to lose everything and restart again, I could live but it would be so miserable to deal with so I'll just go. What about you?

 

[Forveleth]

Full hanging seems reliable af.

You've been for 2 years, what's keeping you from CTB? In my case, I tried to go all in in life and actually achieve something but it's just so painful to lose everything and restart again, I could live but it would be so miserable to deal with so I'll just go. What about you?

Tried a couple times over those two years, it was not successful. I have a rule not to make an attempt until I feel ready. Instead of trying to fight SI, I wait until my backbrain is in compliance with my forebrain. Unfortunately, that just has not happened since my last attempt, so here I sit.

 

[HNR_]

Rawdogging it for real lol

I'll do something like that if I can't find all that I need for SN. You got a date?

Yup lmao

Yeah, that's also my fallback plan and the only "easy" one I have
I don't have a date just yet, waiting for the average temperature to be around 20°C again though, don't want to get cooked by the sun while waiting for my trains or walking around when I reach the last trainstation
Also, I need to get a new phone because, with the luck I have, mine'll die when I need it the most i.e to show my train tickets and find my way around that town I never went to

 

[SD2007]

I plan on leaving a short note for my family. My friends will receive more detailed notes and I will send my favourite friend half my money while the other half goes to my brother. I don't plan on cleaning my phone or or other devices except my browser history as I don't want it to be linked to this site

 

[aunaltravita]

Tried a couple times over those two years, it was not successful. I have a rule not to make an attempt until I feel ready. Instead of trying to fight SI, I wait until my backbrain is in compliance with my forebrain. Unfortunately, that just has not happened since my last attempt, so here I sit.

I hope you'll find peace in the future, meanwhile, nice to meet you man, I could never keep on going after failing to ctb, I already have trouble on living as usual when I already decided it's weird, so hats off to you.

Yup lmao

Yeah, that's also my fallback plan and the only "easy" one I have
I don't have a date just yet, waiting for the average temperature to be around 20°C again though, don't want to get cooked by the sun while waiting for my trains or walking around when I reach the last trainstation
Also, I need to get a new phone because, with the luck I have, mine'll die when I need it the most i.e to show my train tickets and find my way around that town I never went to

I guess you have a point lol

Idk where you are, but if its really hot you could plan on having a good ol heat stroke haahhaha

I plan on leaving a short note for my family. My friends will receive more detailed notes and I will send my favourite friend half my money while the other half goes to my brother. I don't plan on cleaning my phone or or other devices except my browser history as I don't want it to be linked to this site

Man they will find the forum anyway even if you delete your browsing history...

 

[HNR_]

I guess you have a point lol

Idk where you are, but if its really hot you could plan on having a good ol heat stroke haahhaha

Well, it's not that hot either but even 25°C would be too hot considering that I'd be exposed to the sunlight for a good while when waiting for my trains with my leather jacket or waiting under some train station's roof that the sunshine'll go right through and make me feel way too hot

Considering that I'd already have to potentially deal with SI, I'd rather make the travel part at least peaceful enough lol

 

[aunaltravita]

Well, it's not that hot either but even 25°C would be too hot considering that I'd be exposed to the sunlight for a good while when waiting for my trains with my leather jacket or waiting under some train station's roof that the sunshine'll go right through and make me feel way too hot

Considering that I'd already have to potentially deal with SI, I'd rather make the travel part at least peaceful enough lol

If there is water down below, you could actually be more motivated to jump and overcome your SI if it's too hot ahahah

Just jk of course.

Choosing your own moment is the least you could do, we didn't choose to be born so that evens it out I guess...