HitsanoEllangmainta
outsider
- Mar 6, 2023
- 17
I had a weird relationship with this person. I don't know how to describe this without writing an long essay, so I won't do it. Basically, I just know what to say to them so they would feel bad. I don't want to say that I do it because of them, I just want to say some things. But they probably will think that they are the part of my decision do to so. But they would think it either way. I know, that it's wrong and I should just go away without a word, but I feel like a huge loser knowing what I know.
I don't want to commit suicide because of them. Ultimately I am the main problem. It's just that I had so much hope in them, but this person did not live up to my expectations. They were my motivation to live and now I just don't have any source of joy, while they feel good. I hate it. I know I'm a bad person. But I won't care anyway when I do it.
I'm still planning, so maybe you could say something to change my mind. Or on contrary, maybe you could approve my decision to do what I want.
I don't want to commit suicide because of them. Ultimately I am the main problem. It's just that I had so much hope in them, but this person did not live up to my expectations. They were my motivation to live and now I just don't have any source of joy, while they feel good. I hate it. I know I'm a bad person. But I won't care anyway when I do it.
I'm still planning, so maybe you could say something to change my mind. Or on contrary, maybe you could approve my decision to do what I want.