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matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
I just took 16 grams of Potassium chloride as a CTB attempt. Ill update this post gradually as effects come on, but my hope is that my heart will stop sometime tonight and I'll pass away.
 
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parabellum_

parabellum_

" Hell isn't other people. Hell is yourself "
Apr 25, 2026
6
wish you a peaceful end
 
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matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
So far, just anxiety. Took 2 mg clonazepam to try and help. Unfortunately my roommate found me and figured out I took *something*

Probably gonna get 5150'd soon. I still intend on refusing all treatment until I physically can't.
 
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Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,414
The oral LD50 in humans is 2.5 g/kg. The dose is probably one-tenth of the lethal dose. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
 
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matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
The oral LD50 in humans is 2.5 g/kg. The dose is probably one-tenth of the lethal dose. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
People have died on much lower doses, I don't intend on actually letting them treat me.
 
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dizzy.

dizzy.

౿ ۫ ࣪ ׅ "...here, nyo!"
Aug 11, 2023
39
I just took 16 grams of Potassium chloride as a CTB attempt. Ill update this post gradually as effects come on, but my hope is that my heart will stop sometime tonight and I'll pass away.
Best wishes. You deserve it. ♡
 
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Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,414
People have died on much lower doses, I don't intend on actually letting them treat me.

CTB with 16 grams of KCL are very rare. It's more common to survive with much higher doses. It depends on the person's overall health. I wish you the best.
 
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praythestars

praythestars

Member
Jan 11, 2026
30
View attachment 200293

welp this might be ending faster than i expected
Just tell them it was for attention or something and that you don't actually want to die and that it was impulsive. Make up some shit about your bf or gf leaving you. Unless you actually want help, obviously. Act embarrassed about it and be nice, they might be willing to release you to a friend once you're okay.
 
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matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
Omw to hospital now, they're 5150'ing me. Im hoping if i just keep refusing treatment i might still have a chance
Just tell them it was for attention or something and that you don't actually want to die and that it was impulsive. Make up some shit about your bf or gf leaving you. Unless you actually want help, obviously. Act embarrassed about it and be nice, they might be willing to release you to a friend once you're okay.
Will do
My SpO² started dropping slowly, hovering at 90 now
 
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matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
Do you have access to your phone while in invol psych hold?
Usually
Ill keep documenting what happens until I cant
I just got to hospital. Waiting for triage now. Still rehearsing what im going to tell them
 
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ImogenHeap

ImogenHeap

realtime
Aug 29, 2025
31
Usually
Ill keep documenting what happens until I cant
I just got to hospital. Waiting for triage now. Still rehearsing what im going to tell them
If you tell them you mistakenly took it, they'll back off. They can't do much after that unless they have have more probable cause. Similarly if you tell them you had no, and have no desire to harm yourself you'll be fine.
 
matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
I tried doing this and my roommate is telling them im lyjng. Im starting to panic lowkey
Im scared
Also, starting to feel weak and sleepy
If they force me to do anything, I have a razor blade hidden in my phone case that I can use to just cut myself
 
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I

ilovenewyork

Student
Nov 16, 2025
198
You need to relax and let them do their job. You aren't CTB today so spend a week in the psych ward. It's really not that bad. They'll let you out I promise
 
ImogenHeap

ImogenHeap

realtime
Aug 29, 2025
31
I tried doing this and my roommate is telling them im lyjng. Im starting to panic lowkey
Im scared
Also, starting to feel weak and sleepy
If they force me to do anything, I have a razor blade hidden in my phone case that I can use to just cut myself
Don't do anything that would alert them even more, and put you on a longer hold. If you try talking to them more rationally, and come across as a calm, collected person they might let you go sooner rather than later.
 
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spero_meliora

spero_meliora

In hope for better things.
Jan 13, 2025
335
I tried doing this and my roommate is telling them im lyjng. Im starting to panic lowkey
Im scared
Also, starting to feel weak and sleepy
If they force me to do anything, I have a razor blade hidden in my phone case that I can use to just cut myself
I understand why you'd feel like you "need" to do that, but don't re: the razor blade. Doing that is guaranteeing yourself a longer visit at the funny farm. Just play along for now, I'm afraid there's not too much you can do otherwise.
 
matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
Im trying but im splitting really hard. I hate this. My roommates are next to me too and making shit worse i might lose it
 
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ImogenHeap

ImogenHeap

realtime
Aug 29, 2025
31
Im trying but im splitting really hard. I hate this. My roommates are next to me too and making shit worse i might lose it
You should talk to them, ask them what's bugging them so much about your situation.

Also IDK what the situation is, if they were able to figure out it was KCl via bloodwork you can and should act oblivious. If you told them, or something along those lines it's trickier.
 
I

ilovenewyork

Student
Nov 16, 2025
198
Now would be a great time to tell them. You haven't had enough to CTB, so you need to minimize the damage. Tomorrow's you will thank you
 
matlap

matlap

bpdemon
Apr 25, 2026
12
im honestly starting to lose it, i dont know how long ill be able to keep pretending im okay
 
I

ilovenewyork

Student
Nov 16, 2025
198
Just quietly let one of them know and they'll treat you. It doesn't need to be this difficult.
 
WishfulNeanderthal

WishfulNeanderthal

Wishing for better times
Apr 18, 2025
186
but i dont want to be treated. i want to die.
Friend, its been several hours and your situation moves me. But i think the best thing here is to tell them what you took, explain your situation, etc. You aint gonna die today and there's no point in prolonging suffering, there's always another day (although i hope you find non-ctb options). Just my opinion though