Hello, I’m Kind of New👋🏻

[FundamentalAspect]

Hello, SaSu, as the title says I am kind of new and would like to give a quick introduction before I head off to bed.

I have been a lurker here for some years but finally decided to push the button and join a little less than a week ago. I apologise for being late in introducing myself, things got very busy and I have had little time to craft a proper intro or read many other people's posts. This is just a quick "Hello," for now and I'll put up something more in my About Me section; there's a placeholder there for now.

The short version: I come from an extremely abusive family life and had a string of abusive relationships (my current spousal unit isn't, though), was bullied through school and college and in every job I have had save one, I am disabled and suffer from chronic illness, have no friends, am no-contact with my family, have a fuzzy orange cat who is a sweet pain in my ass, and this is the very first internet forum I have ever been a member of.

I have no idea how much I will post on here as I am very shy and suffer from extreme anxiety, though I would very much like to try to be part of this community and hope to be able to be somewhat more active. One goal of being here is to figure out what method will work for me since I am having difficulty deciding (SN, exit bag, nitrogen, and firearms are out), but I am not trying to rush into anything. I want to die, but I want it done right.

Thanks for your time, I hope to get to know the community and people here better.

We have reached the end of our broadcasting day. Goodnight.

 

[MidnightDream]

Hey! Welcome to the site. Thanks for sharing your story, we're glad (as glad as one could be given the nature of the site) to have you here :)

 

[Holu]

Hello, SaSu, as the title says I am kind of new and would like to give a quick introduction before I head off to bed.

I have been a lurker here for some years but finally decided to push the button and join a little less than a week ago. I apologise for being late in introducing myself, things got very busy and I have had little time to craft a proper intro or read many other people's posts. This is just a quick "Hello," for now and I'll put up something more in my About Me section; there's a placeholder there for now.

The short version: I come from an extremely abusive family life and had a string of abusive relationships (my current spousal unit isn't, though), was bullied through school and college and in every job I have had save one, I am disabled and suffer from chronic illness, have no friends, am no-contact with my family, have a fuzzy orange cat who is a sweet pain in my ass, and this is the very first internet forum I have ever been a member of.

I have no idea how much I will post on here as I am very shy and suffer from extreme anxiety, though I would very much like to try to be part of this community and hope to be able to be somewhat more active. One goal of being here is to figure out what method will work for me since I am having difficulty deciding (SN, exit bag, nitrogen, and firearms are out), but I am not trying to rush into anything. I want to die, but I want it done right.

Thanks for your time, I hope to get to know the community and people here better.

We have reached the end of our broadcasting day. Goodnight.

SEND…CAT…PICTURES…NOWWWWWWWWWWW

Hallllooo my shy and anxious friend! Welcome to our internet realm of broken people. You are very welcome and appreciated here!

First, never stress about not immediately sending a message, or worry about keeping up frequently. When you need a place for advice, to vent, or to just chillax we are here.

Uhhh orientation is kinda simple. There are an obvious three routes, those being to existIng, recovery, or escape.

If you be just existing thru the nightmare that is life then feel free to just jump between pages like a lot of us do. It can be therapeutic reading and responding to other people.

Alternatively we are here if you need advice, companionship, or want people to vent to. Even if you feel like it's worthless and doesn't help it can help another person.

For a shy person I'm very impressed you managed to get that out! Even online with no face card it can be hard to express yourself!

Also, though my apology/sympathy means nothing, I am truly sorry for the abusive you experienced. Nobody deserves that, especially not you. You're very resilient for surviving through that, and if trauma or anything still haunts you please don't hesitate to express that. Lots of similar stories with people who might be able to empathize, even if they aren't you and cannot fully get the picture.

Should you be looking for recovery and are concerned about the pervasive death lust a lot of us have don't worry! Most people here simply believe we all have the right to death. Nobody will bash you for trying to recover(and if they do I will ream their asses out).

Should you be looking to escape suffering all together then there are plenty of alternative methods which have been tested(yes ik that sounds absurd but some brave individuals have done tests or kept updates while going through their escape). Popular things atm are N(nitrogen) and SN(sodium nitrate) however there are plenty of other methods for all people regardless of location or money.

Anywayyyys welcome! Hope your time here is at least comforting. And again don't feel obliged to anyone. We are here for you when you need us. As always feel free to dm me if you need anything.

Welcome to the front soldier! Glad to have you

 

[aitouka]

Welcome! It's nice (I think) to have you here.

It's normal to stress and be anxious in public interactions, but please remember that we all try to make this as much of a safe space as possible, so don't fret! It is ok to vent, relax and chill here. Many outsiders may not understand what you've been through, or how you feel, but I'm sure you can find many like-minded people here. Good luck venturing!

 

[FundamentalAspect]

Thank you all very much! You've made me smile for the first time in a couple of days, and I am so grateful for that. Lurking and reading was fine and it was nice to see the community that exists here, but I'm happier having joined.

As for my shyness and anxiety and my writing, it can often take me hours, if not whole days to craft a post. That is especially true if the post is long or of some import, even if it's only important to me. I used to write and have been pushing to try to get back to it. Also, apologies if the things I write tend to be long or wordy, conciseness has always been a difficult thing when I write. The essay in my About Me was actually the answer I gave to the question about why I wanted to join when I signed up. Not short. Pity the mods.

I'm not terribly tech savvy, but if I can figure out how to scrub all of the pertinent data from the photos I may try to post one, though I will have to ask his permission because he's a very private cat… even if he does lick his butt in front of other people.

 

[UtopianElephant]

Thank you for writing your post, and hopefully this site will help you move in whatever direction you ultimately deem best for you.

 

[Holu]

Thank you all very much! You've made me smile for the first time in a couple of days, and I am so grateful for that. Lurking and reading was fine and it was nice to see the community that exists here, but I'm happier having joined.

As for my shyness and anxiety and my writing, it can often take me hours, if not whole days to craft a post. That is especially true if the post is long or of some import, even if it's only important to me. I used to write and have been pushing to try to get back to it. Also, apologies if the things I write tend to be long or wordy, conciseness has always been a difficult thing when I write. The essay in my About Me was actually the answer I gave to the question about why I wanted to join when I signed up. Not short. Pity the mods.

I'm not terribly tech savvy, but if I can figure out how to scrub all of the pertinent data from the photos I may try to post one, though I will have to ask his permission because he's a very private cat… even if he does lick his butt in front of other people.

Noooo I did not mean to infringe on cats consent :(.

You're very brave to be writing this. I know that might sound silly for something that can be easy but the fact it's not for you makes it all the more impressive. Speaking on behalf of the community we are glad to have you.

As for essay like posts you have not seen me lmao. I be goin cuckoo in this bitch.

Anyways as always if you need to talk always feel free to message me. Glad that you could smile. Amongst the forsaken you are not alone. Have a wonderful night(or day idk where u located lol)

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you've been through, it's certainly so horrible how cruel humans create so much harm. But anyway I hope that you find what you are looking for on here, I wish you the best.

 

[FundamentalAspect]

So far, everyone here has been so welcoming and I am grateful for it, especially since this week has been an absolute mess. There have been a couple of good things, but everything else has been bloody frustrating.

You're very brave to be writing this. I know that might sound silly for something that can be easy but the fact it's not for you makes it all the more impressive. Speaking on behalf of the community we are glad to have you.

Brave for writing these posts, by stepping outside of what has been my comfort zone for too many years? Thank you, that means quite a lot. I would add that I feel brave for trying to conceal myself less, not trying to censor myself here, and allowing myself to …well, be myself because this is a safer place to do so; that kind of thing terrifies me to my core and is incredibly difficult to do, so I suppose I feel brave.

Amongst the forsaken you are not alone.

I like that

Goodnight, my friend.

That sounds really awful what you've been through, it's certainly so horrible how cruel humans create so much harm. But anyway I hope that you find what you are looking for on here, I wish you the best.

It's lovely to meet you, I have read many of your posts during my years lurking here!

I agree with you, the harm that cruel people create is devastating. The things that humans can justify to themselves is staggering; any cruel, selfish, hurtful act can somehow be justified, but only as long as they aren't the ones getting hurt. The only cruelty, in their eyes, is when they are on the receiving end. And they wonder why people end up needing a place like this.

I wish you the best as well.

Goodnight.