F
Funeralprincess
Death never turned on me
- May 8, 2022
- 433
So over the long years of leading up to me finally deciding to try and take my life again, I started having all kinds of issues with my heart. Now if any of you have medical issues that are very serious, you know America's medical system picks and chooses who it's going to give a fuck about. For a long time, my symptoms matched closely with heart disease (heart problems also run in the family) and my first doctor essentially refused to look into it saying all of my symptoms were anxiety related, because "no young person gets heart disease, it just doesn't happen". I was called a hypochondriac which wasn't a nice feeling, and told that my heart issues would subside. Well I became very fucking scared being under that doctors care and to get into another doctor, I needed a referral. It took me months to get the referral from this doctor who kept swearing up and down there's no way it's heart disease. Now depression and heart disease can be very closely linked according to many studies, and as someone who has depression on top of BP, I was still concerned and just had this feeling it wasn't just anxiety. With as much as I'd been in the hospital due to heart related problems I wasn't feeling good about this. I was previously diagnosed with BHS (broken heart syndrome) after some very traumatic events happened in my life leading to that, and was hospitalized for that as well, so when I continued to have heart issues I was shocked the doctor hadn't looked at all previous problems and taken it seriously. When I did get the referral, I then had to wait a very long time to get into that doctor and by the time I could, almost a year had passed. This doctor tends to be very good, so they're heavily booked which I understand. After a lot of testing, it's finally confirmed I have fucking heart disease, and the new doctor isn't surprised it's gotten worse because treatment wasn't possible under the other doctors care.
The failing medical system is another reason I want to go.. I never realized how bad it was until I developed heart issues. I hope one day the medial system improves
The failing medical system is another reason I want to go.. I never realized how bad it was until I developed heart issues. I hope one day the medial system improves