Venting Having SN is a relief but taking any action is the hard part

[dumblosergirl]

I've been having the SN in my possesion for 5 months now and I have not done anything. I have suicidal thoughts from time to time and a plan in mind. I have not done any date or time specifics though. I feel like I'm being punished staying on this world for longer. I worry about the people I will leave stuff behind for. (debt and such not really care, I feel like people would get over my death easily) I've been tempted to construct a suicide note to push myself into doing it more. Living is just too difficult. I find my thoughts are way heavier than people imagine. They try to cheer me up but I feel like a lost cause and broken. I have tried therapy but I feel worse knowing I'm making no progress and I'm still the same. I made the effort but I can't do it anymore. Everything is so hard. I'm such a loser but alas, I'm too coward to act and continue to suffer.

 

[AbsentMindedHuman]

This is our delemma. We want to die, but we don't have an easy, reliable, PAINLESS means to do so. You aren't a coward, you are human. I too struggle with the desire to die but the lack of ability to act on it for a number of reasons. Why should we be forced to suffer in our minds, encouraged to keep living despite our best efforts to leave the cruel world. I have had a Gun in my possession for a number of months, but I am bombarded with guilt trips, and fear of failure, so I live to suffer another day. Best of luck friend.

 

[Unknown21]

I've been having the SN in my possesion for 5 months now and I have not done anything. I have suicidal thoughts from time to time and a plan in mind. I have not done any date or time specifics though. I feel like I'm being punished staying on this world for longer. I worry about the people I will leave stuff behind for. (debt and such not really care, I feel like people would get over my death easily) I've been tempted to construct a suicide note to push myself into doing it more. Living is just too difficult. I find my thoughts are way heavier than people imagine. They try to cheer me up but I feel like a lost cause and broken. I have tried therapy but I feel worse knowing I'm making no progress and I'm still the same. I made the effort but I can't do it anymore. Everything is so hard. I'm such a loser but alas, I'm too coward to act and continue to suffer.

I have owned it for a year and have not taken any actual steps. I believe that when the time comes, I will be ready. There is no need to rush. The point at which your suffering will reach an unbearable extent will find yourself implementing the plan without thinking about anything else.
Everything is constantly getting worse and I feel like I am getting closer.