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I like the ice circle because it feels like a metaphor for my life. I think I'm in the freeze response right now. It's like I'm stuck in ice and frozen in time. I'm not advancing in life. I'm standing still while other people are passing me by
I like the ice circle because it feels like a metaphor for my life. I think I'm stuck in the freeze response right now. It's like I'm frozen in time. I'm not advancing with life. I'm standing still while other people are passing me by
I like the ice circle because it feels like a metaphor for my life. I think I'm stuck in the freeze response right now. It's like I'm frozen in time. I'm not advancing with life. I'm standing still while other people are passing me by
My health problems are incurable hence them and related issues are unsolvable. As is my financial situation. I'm screwed nine ways to Sunday. I've run the numbers back and forth and up and down. Suicide is not what I want but neither is living with a body that's constantly torturing me and being homeless and destitute. I also can't solve the problem of having a family that doesn't give a shit if I live or die and a father that's actually encouraged me to ctb, multiple times. It's a brutal reality and it's hard to accept, often times my anxiety getting to the point of feeling like throwing up. It's been really bad at night lately. The stress in turn aggravates my physical problems especially the neurological ones.
Does your stress ever lead to going to the bathroom multiple times a day? The other day I was urinating every 10 minutes and couldn't sleep. Do you actually want to die or do you feel like you're being forced to walk the plank? I feel like I'm being forced by God! Damn him!
Yes, I've done this. I wrote everything that's going right with my life first, and then I wrote what was going wrong with my life and assigned two additional metrics to each point: the difficulty of solving it and the probability (low, medium, or high) of solving it.
I think all it did was cement my decision to CTB. Not because my problems were unsolvable, but because I saw just how much effort, and perhaps more importantly, luck, they'd require to solve. Also, there were actually not that many points on the list of problems (though they were all pretty major, like work and love), so it was possible for me to envision what my life could look like after solving them, and I realized that even that "good" life wasn't worth it to me.
As with @ijustwishtodie, this exercise essentially just made me realize that my issue wasn't so much with my current life but with existence itself. The hypothetical life I could have with those problems solved doesn't appeal to me because I'd still have to exist.
Yes, I've done this. I wrote everything that's going right with my life first, and then I wrote what was going wrong with my life and assigned two additional metrics to each point: the difficulty of solving it and the probability (low, medium, or high) of solving it.
I think all it did was cement my decision to CTB. Not because my problems were unsolvable, but because I saw just how much effort, and perhaps more importantly, luck, they'd require to solve. Also, there were actually not that many points on the list of problems (though they were all pretty major, like work and love), so it was possible for me to envision what my life could look like after solving them, and I realized that even that "good" life wasn't worth it to me.
As with @ijustwishtodie, this exercise essentially just made me realize that my issue wasn't so much with my current life but with existence itself. The hypothetical life I could have with those problems solved doesn't appeal to me because I'd still have to exist.
Yes, I've done this. I wrote everything that's going right with my life first, and then I wrote what was going wrong with my life and assigned two additional metrics to each point: the difficulty of solving it and the probability (low, medium, or high) of solving it.
I think all it did was cement my decision to CTB. Not because my problems were unsolvable, but because I saw just how much effort, and perhaps more importantly, luck, they'd require to solve. Also, there were actually not that many points on the list of problems (though they were all pretty major, like work and love), so it was possible for me to envision what my life could look like after solving them, and I realized that even that "good" life wasn't worth it to me.
As with @ijustwishtodie, this exercise essentially just made me realize that my issue wasn't so much with my current life but with existence itself. The hypothetical life I could have with those problems solved doesn't appeal to me because I'd still have to exist.
And existing isn't full of highs. It's a mixed bag of bullshit for everyone. Others trudge through the occasional bad because they have the good to look forward to before cycling back again.
I can't grow any taller (not even that short but I'd definitely like to be taller - 6'2+)
I can't make millions of dollars without slaving away for 20+ years
I can't travel back in time and undo my mistakes
I can't do shit. Life is fucking bullshit unless you have a perfect start. It's definitely too late for me now and I'm not going to rot away for the next 40 years. I'll be gone before I'm 35 - unless some miracle happen.
Well the worst one is the ninth circle, which is for treachery. All of the sinners are trapped in ice. It's the one that I have a natural affinity for for some reason…
I can't grow any taller (not even that short but I'd definitely like to be taller - 6'2+)
I can't make millions of dollars without slaving away for 20+ years
I can't travel back in time and undo my mistakes
I can't do shit. Life is fucking bullshit unless you have a perfect start. It's definitely too late for me now and I'm not going to rot away for the next 40 years. I'll be gone before I'm 35 - unless some miracle happen.
Well the worst one is the ninth circle, which is for treachery. All of the sinners are trapped in ice. It's the one that I have a natural affinity for for some reason…
No, only when I was forced to when filling out disability papers. (I was denied, after 16hrs worth of thought and writing. Didn't have enough work credits and missed the 5yr cut off apparently.) But I do with therapists, I explain my problems and then execute explanations and reasonings as to why/how they are unfixable; thus, same thing every week and it just gets worse. They just nod sympathetically. I wouldn't know wtf to say to myself, and I tell them so... They just continue to nod with squinting/closed eyes...
I'm surprised you'd ask that. Of course, people cling to life. What the hell? Look at anyone who's ever almost died. Why would people go to the hospital if they didn't wish to live more?
Don't worry, the question was rhetorical. I know that many people cling to life. What I don't understand is why. The "why" is why I asked the rhetorical question to begin with but I was really vague about it
I mean, I know that they like life for various reasons such as having loved ones, having pleasure in little things, having passion in what they do (to an extent), being afraid of death, having a false sense of freedom and so on. So, literally, I do know the why logically but my brain can't comprehend any of this on an emotional level and it always can't until I experience being a pro lifer for myself
Don't worry, the question was rhetorical. I know that many people cling to life. What I don't understand is why. The "why" is why I asked the rhetorical question to begin with but I was really vague about it
I mean, I know that they like life for various reasons such as having loved ones, having pleasure in little things, having passion in what they do (to an extent), being afraid of death, having a false sense of freedom and so on. So, literally, I do know the why logically but my brain can't comprehend any of this on an emotional level and it always can't until I experience being a pro lifer for myself
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