Have you tried writing down all your problems and then looking at how solvable each one is ?

[Ambivalent1]

To be or not to be…

Mel Gibson played a great hamlet

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yes, several times. Their solvability varies greatly, at least in terms of the theoretical.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

You should insult them. Tell them they suck and should stock shelves with their psych degree

I think I did a pretty good job showing that they lack experience and knowledge; that just because they've passed the courses, and put in the hours of "listening", doesn't qualify them to give advice to struggling people. I wasn't malicious about it, but I was honest. I actually liked most of them as people, just not as professionals in their choice of field. So I'm usually just the funny, sad, soap opera, lifetime movie with an R-rating for language. I could make them laugh and challenge them, but that wasn't the objective dudes. I hoped they learned something. I feel I got them to them more than they got to me. It shouldn't be that way. I'm not their to entertain you, assist you as a professor, or to have a "sympathetic friend paid by the hour" to nod and use generic phrases and give me pamphlet coping skills. Like, you engage in life; you are a self-sufficient memeber of society; you are happy to be alive; you have goals and dreams and plan to pursue them; you see a future for yourself; and you offer me nothing but mirroring my language and trying to scrape for questions or statements that will get me talking to pass the hour. I see these commercials for professional help being offered and it's no more effective to me than the beauty industry. It's just another avenue for greed and it's despicable and insulting. They don't even take notes during... because we get boxed in with dealing with "patient has asserted their frustration with" finances, their spouse, their overwhelming workload, their family chaos, etc. I've had more than one person (although not a true counselor) say I could reach anytime... between the hours 8 to 5pm. Wtf? Good to know. I hope my emergency lands between your billable hours so you can continue to be worse than a cliche of a stereotypical counelor/therapist. Oh the lives you've helped... They literally advertise that on the commercials. Not going to be your checkbox. Go fuck yourself. Maybe when word gets back to you that your former client (we're clients now btw, not patients) killed themself you might actually figure out how to do your job. Doubtful, but one can hope. I was once given a therapist who was younger than me, fiddling with a kid's spinner toy that used to be popular... He was used to working with kids. Oh goody an LDS morman guy, who had never said "the f word" before listen to me and choice words of cursing and deep, dry, satiric sarcasm most of the time. Not to mention Im a devout atheist, agnostic, but atheist so Im sure he secretly prayed for my soul. He probably even told me that. He also wanted me to watch some kids movie because the robbers end up changing.... (I'm not a criminal or anything of the sort, just frozen in my fear and destructive ways.) and also Black Panther. I forget what I was supposed to learn from that. I did make him listen to S.H.I T. lol. Because I had been having a feud with my step-family neighbors and that's how I felt about. I called him a Pollyanna Preacber (that was his contact name in my phone). Finally asked him if he was a preacher and he said he had spoken a few Sermons... and he was my age. Married with two little girls. Point is, it's a joke. Sometimes a literal one. So if you have to keep tossing them until you find one who is serious, don't feel embarrassed and ashamed like I did. It's their damn job. Hopefully you find someone who can actually relate to you and can counteract your reality with perspective and knowledge that you haven't already read about your damn self! Best of luck. It really is a game of chance. Hate to be sexist but, I hope Luck Be a Lady for You....✌
If you got this far, thanks for reading.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I like the ice circle because it feels like a metaphor for my life. I think I'm in the freeze response right now. It's like I'm stuck in ice and frozen in time. I'm not advancing in life. I'm standing still while other people are passing me by

Possum. Me too.

 

[BlazingBob]

Does your stress ever lead to going to the bathroom multiple times a day? The other day I was urinating every 10 minutes and couldn't sleep. Do you actually want to die or do you feel like you're being forced to walk the plank? I feel like I'm being forced by God! Damn him!

Brotherhood is better. Watch it on aniwave

Yes I have to pee quite a bit. I also feel like I'm being forced to walk the plank. As far as wanting to die I'm pretty ambivalent about it. The problem is that I can't even imagine what a decent life would be like.

 

[Astoria]

Most of my problems would either take a long time (and a lot of effort) to fix, or are nothing more than horrible memories.
However, I will say that's a good idea.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Most of my problems would either take a long time (and a lot of effort) to fix, or are nothing more than horrible memories.
However, I will say that's a good idea.

That font color is painful.

 

[Astoria]

That font color is painful.

Sorry, I use it to match my pfp.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess I used to journal at one point and figure out what to do about my problems. Not sure I've put everything down specifically in one place. Still- it's been a constant puzzle in my head- how am I going to try and make things better for myself? What would actually make me happy?

When I look back, I've done a whole bunch of stuff. I guess that's kind of the conclusion for me though really- if the stuff I've tried to make things better hasn't worked and, I have very little desire to keep trying over and over or to do something entirely different (I've tried changes of direction in life too,) then- the writing's on the wall for me.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I guess I used to journal at one point and figure out what to do about my problems. Not sure I've put everything down specifically in one place. Still- it's been a constant puzzle in my head- how am I going to try and make things better for myself? What would actually make me happy?

When I look back, I've done a whole bunch of stuff. I guess that's kind of the conclusion for me though really- if the stuff I've tried to make things better hasn't worked and, I have very little desire to keep trying over and over or to do something entirely different (I've tried changes of direction in life too,) then- the writing's on the wall for me.

What have you tried?

 

[Forever Sleep]

What have you tried?

Self help books, therapy, medication- synthetic and herbal, exercise, walking in nature, healthy diet, focusing on appearance, focusing on creating a nice and stable living environment, pursuing my dream creative career- including taking on Head of Department roles in order to have a stable income to do it and then quitting them to go freelance and have more freedom (but risk instability.) That also included uprooting and moving hundreds of miles across the country a few times. I've worked 9-5's. I've worked middle management roles, I've worked as part of teams, I've worked alone and freelance. I've had a best friend, I've had big friend groups, I used to make an effort with friendships. I've done care based jobs. I've given to charity. I briefly tried online dating but got too nervous. I used to take myself off to visit places. I still enjoy various media- music, films, games etc.

But really, I suppose the crux of it is- I've tried a lot of what I wanted to try and besides- none of it comes for free! Life comes with conditions. We're not just given stuff- unless we're bloody lucky! And, I'm tired of the daily grind. My reality is- the most important thing in my life is my creative job. Without that, I'm utterly miserable. I know this from 44 years on this planet. 10 of those years spent in a retail job. But ultimately- I'm too slow and too poor at the business side of things to work even normal hours and make it work. So- I realistically need to be working most of the time for it to be financially viable and- even something you mostly enjoy becomes tedious when you have to do it all the time. The alternative is to cut corners, work like a machine and drop standards- which would make me not want to do it at all. Or- to go back into wage slavery which I know I hate. So, I feel like I know myself well enough to know what I want out of life. What does or would make me happy (ish) and how unlikely it is I'll achieve that.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Self help books, therapy, medication- synthetic and herbal, exercise, walking in nature, healthy diet, focusing on appearance, focusing on creating a nice and stable living environment, pursuing my dream creative career- including taking on Head of Department roles in order to have a stable income to do it and then quitting them to go freelance and have more freedom (but risk instability.) That also included uprooting and moving hundreds of miles across the country a few times. I've worked 9-5's. I've worked middle management roles, I've worked as part of teams, I've worked alone and freelance. I've had a best friend, I've had big friend groups, I used to make an effort with friendships. I've done care based jobs. I've given to charity. I briefly tried online dating but got too nervous. I used to take myself off to visit places. I still enjoy various media- music, films, games etc.

But really, I suppose the crux of it is- I've tried a lot of what I wanted to try and besides- none of it comes for free! Life comes with conditions. We're not just given stuff- unless we're bloody lucky! And, I'm tired of the daily grind. My reality is- the most important thing in my life is my creative job. Without that, I'm utterly miserable. I know this from 44 years on this planet. 10 of those years spent in a retail job. But ultimately- I'm too slow and too poor at the business side of things to work even normal hours and make it work. So- I realistically need to be working most of the time for it to be financially viable and- even something you mostly enjoy becomes tedious when you have to do it all the time. The alternative is to cut corners, work like a machine and drop standards- which would make me not want to do it at all. Or- to go back into wage slavery which I know I hate. So, I feel like I know myself well enough to know what I want out of life. What does or would make me happy (ish) and how unlikely it is I'll achieve that.

What does being 50+ look like to you? To me it's unthinkable

 

[Dark Moon]

I haven't done that but most of my problems are not fixable.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I haven't done that but most of my problems are not fixable.

The may say otherwise once it gets going.

Didn't you see the SpongeBob episode with the doodle? It had a mind of its own

 

[Ociv]

I have thought about it a lot, but having enough solution ideas to form anything resembling a list is far fetched for me.

In the search for something to make life worth living, I have only really come up with one thing: a family.

I think the only thing that would make it worth powering through lifes hardships is having something to devote myself to. I don't care for my own wellbeing (obviously, or I wouldnt be here.), but If I had a wife, or a child that I loved, I would be able to put my entire body and soul on the line to make them happy. It has happened before in my last relationship. I made unreasonable sacrafices for her, sImply because making her happy was the only thing that made me feel a sense of purpose. she ended up cheating on me in the end, but that feeling of purpose never left my mind.

Finding someone to love is no easy task, and I dont expect it to happen any time soon. In fact, I feel that it is an unrealistically romantic expectation. Coming to terms with that reality has helped me approach the idea of suicide with a more level head.

The may say otherwise once it gets going.

Didn't you see the SpongeBob episode with the doodle? It had a mind of its own

youre a whimsical little fellow huh

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Most of mine can't be solved for at least six years (ie when my son is 18 and I can leave 'home' without societal stigma) so it's a matter of whether I hang around til then. 6 years is a lot of waiting.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I have thought about it a lot, but having enough solution ideas to form anything resembling a list is far fetched for me.

In the search for something to make life worth living, I have only really come up with one thing: a family.

I think the only thing that would make it worth powering through lifes hardships is having something to devote myself to. I don't care for my own wellbeing (obviously, or I wouldnt be here.), but If I had a wife, or a child that I loved, I would be able to put my entire body and soul on the line to make them happy. It has happened before in my last relationship. I made unreasonable sacrafices for her, sImply because making her happy was the only thing that made me feel a sense of purpose. she ended up cheating on me in the end, but that feeling of purpose never left my mind.

Finding someone to love is no easy task, and I dont expect it to happen any time soon. In fact, I feel that it is an unrealistically romantic expectation. Coming to terms with that reality has helped me approach the idea of suicide with a more level head.

youre a whimsical little fellow huh

I am my pfp

 

[Ociv]

I am my pfp

id carry around a silly little will-o-wisp in a lantern on my belt like im some fantasy tomb raider and youre my lighthearted sidekick who takes the edge off a stressful situation with their carefree banter.

 

[Ambivalent1]

id carry around a silly little will-o-wisp in a lantern on my belt like im some fantasy tomb raider and youre my lighthearted sidekick who takes the edge off a stressful situation with their carefree banter.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No. There's only one problem I have and this is unsolvable for me.

 

[Ambivalent1]

No. There's only one problem I have and this is unsolvable for me.

Reminds me of something. There's a short story by Isaac Asimov called The Last Answer where ""God" traps random sentient souls in oblivion after death to help him find an answer. The main character is so angry he vows to think of a way to destroy "God." "God" is pleased and says "Get started."

 

[Forever Sleep]

What does being 50+ look like to you? To me it's unthinkable

Yeah, I hope I don't get that far.

 

[viljalauss]

honestly this sounds like a very good idea. i don't think it would change my decision as most of the problems i am immediately aware of are unsolvable or are defects of my own that feel so horrible that all they do is remind me why i need to die. but either way it sounds good to do and nice if needed to present as proof of my trying to be less myopic in my worldview