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Wish could say something more positive my friend. just know you are with friends heresuper cool :)
it hurts me to know that my mother will be traumatized with that. Does it happen to you too?
Same with my mum she's tried 3 times, if I do it i'll be scared if she does too.My mother tried once to kill herself and I think that she will try it again when I commit suicide.
It drives me crazy to think about that. And it makes me really sad.
What does it do?It is the totally worst thing of it all, ive lost 2 friends that way and seen what it does
This is my reason as well. I understand I can move out, and eventually live my own life but the struggle and process I have to endure to do that is too much for my weak ass to handle. Childhood trauma as well.. I don't think those scars will ever heal. I'm tormented by these memories and self-doubt.I don't find it worthy at all and I can't and don't want to endure or struggle with more shit... I'm done.
Also, I can't get rid of childhood traumas which fucked me up. Just no, I'll die.
When I had my cat (she died last year) there was at least one time when I thought about ctb and then decided not to because she was snuggled up against me and I felt bad about leaving her.I think the humans in my life will be fine without me, it's my cats that I worry about. They are extremely bonded to me, and two of them belonged to my late husband. That's the only reason I'm not dead yesterday.
Well, that's it, I want to end my life, I hate myself deeply but it hurts me to know that my mother will be traumatized with that. Does it happen to you too?
Just like me. But I was never interested in life since I know how it really is. If in addition to this I have to struggle so fucking much for "escaping"... just no.This is my reason as well. I understand I can move out, and eventually live my own life but the struggle and process I have to endure to do that is too much for my weak ass to handle. Childhood trauma as well.. I don't think those scars will ever heal. I'm tormented by these memories and self-doubt.
This part was exactly like reading my own mindI am a product of their education. What I saw, what I learnt, during years, was almost exclusively originated from my relationship with them, and with the people they got me in contact with. I wear their teachings, ideas, emotions, behaviors, marked as fire in my conscience as a cow has it's catalog number burnt into their flesh. Therefore, I can't feel sorry for them. I believe that my sucidal instinct is partially directed by revenge.
Hi any chance of sharing your plansI don't want my family to go through the aftermath of my suicide. That is why I want to make it look like I died of natural causes or an accident. People here are skeptic, saying it's almost impossible to pull off. But I believe I can pull it off, I am a man with three plans.
It devastates families they never get over it. I'm always there for my friend Lynn after her sister jumped in front of a train in 2011What does it do?
CRM. Yes in a way it's trapping people .Who just don't wannabe hereI never really felt the unconditional love for family because we did not choose each other. Would we like each other if we weren't blood and just spoke one day? Definitely not, at least for me.
I don't want to hurt them, or anybody, but I do not feel the slightest guilt about killing myself. Never have.
What's their day to day like? What's changed?It devastates families they never get over it. I'm always there for my friend Lynn after her sister jumped in front of a train in 2011
Just like an emotional deep wound that can never heal. Yes they get on with life eventually but takes a long time for thatWhat's their day to day like? What's changed?
If the daughter had been murdered, died in a car crash, etc wouldn't the family still have a deep emotional wound?Just like an emotional deep wound that can never heal. Yes they get on with life eventually but takes a long time for that
Unfortunately I know far too many people who died too early. So family and friends always miss the lost ones but with suicide .it is different. The sense of somehow they should have been able to prevent it, have done something, been better family somehow does not go awayIf the daughter had been murdered, died in a car crash, etc wouldn't the family still have a deep emotional wound?
I know. Please know I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. I'm here as I want to die tooMy mother loves me, no doubt about that.
But when it was the time to help me, she did literally nothing. For years she did literally nothing, acting like everything was going well.
I do not say she is guilty of my condition, but since she accepted it without even questioning, she will also have to accept when I'll go.