Discussion Have you suffered trauma?

[dogemn]

I've recently gone through some much-needed self-reflection on my life and childhood. After two decades of depression, social anxiety, isolation, self-harm, nightmares, suicidal thoughts, and addiction to alcohol and drugs, which ultimately led to a near-fatal heroin overdose last year, I finally began to see the abuse I experienced from my father as a child, which I had buried for so long. It was something I had never fully acknowledged, always dismissed, but it turns out to be the root of so much of my suffering. I've come to understand that I've been living with complex trauma because of it. What about you? Have you experienced trauma that's deeply shaped your life and brought you to where you are now?

 

[darksouls]

I was born into a toxic family
my mother is a very violent woman
she has abused me for as long as I can remember
all family members knew about it
but no one helped me

 

[Forever Sleep]

Perhaps not as severely as other members. My early life had a lot of bereavement in it. I later lived with someone I was terrified of. Not that much physical violence but a whole lot of bullying and typical narcissistic abuse- gas lighting, blaming me for things I hadn't done etc.

I feel like that was traumatic- enough to make me want to suicide in order to escape it. I'm not sure it would be considered trauma but, it pretty much directly lead me to where I am now. Or rather, it set me on a course that was likely to ultimately fail. I can trace my mal adjusted behaviour and over reliance on a coping mechanism (being creative) back to that time.

Of course, I can't lay all the blame there. I could and should have done more to overcome the baggage from that period ages ago. In some ways, I've largely let it dominate my life.

 

[PI3.14]

Yes, sexual assault when I was 6yo and childhood trauma due to my parents neglecting me as a kid, verbal abuse, and not treating me fairly. They changed their behavior as they grew older and apologized for what they did, but it's too late.

 

[itsoverforme303]

Every second of my life.

 

[shediedatsea]

i have been through a lot of trauma and I'm still in a toxic and abusive household

 

[Unknown21]

Yes, CPTSD.

 

[a-fond-farewell]

I've recently gone through some much-needed self-reflection on my life and childhood. After two decades of depression, social anxiety, isolation, self-harm, nightmares, suicidal thoughts, and addiction to alcohol and drugs, which ultimately led to a near-fatal heroin overdose last year, I finally began to see the abuse I experienced from my father as a child, which I had buried for so long. It was something I had never fully acknowledged, always dismissed, but it turns out to be the root of so much of my suffering. I've come to understand that I've been living with complex trauma because of it. What about you? Have you experienced trauma that's deeply shaped your life and brought you to where you are now?

yes, I suffer from complex trauma like you do. I was watching one video with the author who wrote "The Body Keeps the Score", a researcher of post-traumatic stress since the 1970s, and he said something that made a lot of sense out of my trauma.

I'm paraphrasing from memory a lot here, but hopefully the point will still show. the amount of support we have during and after a traumatic event can shape how the trauma affects us. take this example of a child who falls off a swing set and breaks their arm. it's scary and painful, but a loving parent swoops in, saying "everything will be ok" and driving them to the hospital right away. that child went through a scary thing, but they were immediately met with love and kindness and that'll change how the child is affected by the situation.

as many of us have, I've gone through a lot of shit in life. I've experienced things no child should have to go through. but the traumatic events that crushed my world and sense of self were the ones where I had no support. the times when I was completely powerless. those are the things that haunt me to this day. had I had someone swoop in at that time in my life and say "everything's ok, I hear you, I know what you're going through, I'm taking care of you now, they can't hurt you anymore", I would be a completely different person today. I would be a better person. I wouldn't be broken.

I'm an adult now which means that I need to repair myself, something I can't do. I don't have the ability to fix myself, to live through this shit. broken children become broken adults. people need to realize that more often.

it doesn't surprise me to hear that you always dismissed your trauma. I think that's very common with a lot of us. maybe it's some kind of coping mechanism, even if it ends up being self-destructive. I'm glad you're reflecting on it and I'm glad you're still here.

 

[darksouls]

Yes, CPTSD.

same here

 

[LetMeOut67]

Parents who didn't know how to be parents
Bullying
Sexual abuse
Just living can be traumatic

 

[kagebunshin]

I've recently been diagnosed with BPD which my psychiatrist claims has its roots in childhood trauma. Personally I don't think my childhood was traumatic, although bad things did happen. I believe all of my issues are my own fault.

 

[muu]

from grades 4-6 i was severely mistreated by school staff and now i have trauma from it

i think i downplay how much it affected me as a person, even with years of therapy i've never really "gotten over it" or come to terms with it. i have the impostor syndrome of "well, it could've been WORSE!" even though it was pretty bad

 

[trashisland]

life is traumatic as a whole. im stuck at home with a mentally abusive mother who has hurt and berated me my entire life, and I have to sit there in my tiny bedroom all day taking her insults like a cuck because I have nothing else. I get extremely stressed just hearing her raise her voice in general, to the point I start to shake and I want to cut. it affects me so much...

 

[AuraByte]

I was literally born into trauma lol.