Have you had an older relative or friend ctb? How did you feel later when you got close to or reached their age?

[glad it’s night]

One of my relatives did it when he was just a couple years older than I am now. Just makes me reflect sometimes. Like you think about them and wonder what their thoughts and feelings were like around that time. I remember last year my Grandmother said,"I don't think he was ever happy." I'll probably ctb someday, but I don't think it will be for at least 5-10 years. So I'm not really "concerned", more just ruminating on life and death, psychology, biology and the human mind. Thanks for listening.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not from suicide but, my Mum died from cancer when she was 40. I was so convinced I'd die by then. I hate it that I'm older than her now. (I'm 44.) I think it can have a profound effect on us knowing when a loved one died. Especially by suicide I imagine and, especially if we have those thoughts ourselves. I imagine it kind of paves the way in a sense for us to do the same. (Not saying that you should of course.) Did you know your Grandfather well? I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[glad it’s night]

Not from suicide but, my Mum died from cancer when she was 40. I was so convinced I'd die by then. I hate it that I'm older than her now. (I'm 44.) I think it can have a profound effect on us knowing when a loved one died. Especially by suicide I imagine and, especially if we have those thoughts ourselves. I imagine it kind of paves the way in a sense for us to do the same. (Not saying that you should of course.) Did you know your Grandfather well? I'm sorry for your loss.

It was actually my uncle. My grandmother was saying it about him (her son) who took his own life at 32. I'm just a few years away, but I don't think that will be me doing the same. My life is not too bad, but I've always just been kinda depressed. I wish I knew how "normal" people felt.

 

[Moniker]

My half-brother did when I was young. My dad had remarried at a late age and his first marriage was super early, so there's a huge age gap between me and my brother. It won't be a while until I reach his age.

I thought nothing of it as a kid. He isolated himself from the family, so we weren't close. As an adult, I get it. My dad is trash. His whole side of the family is trash. My parents always said I remind them of him. It feels like I'm going down the same road as him and it feels odd.

My dad died of cancer about a year ago. My mom is still a wreck. Even if I don't like her much either, it has made me ponder the impact of me killing myself more than usual.