Discussion Have you ever had a girlfriend (or boyfriend)?

[Meretlein]

I had a girlfriend before I realized I was asexual. I'm surprised by the number of asexuals here.

 

[ReverendGreen]

Technically no. There was one relationship that happened for a month in high school but we only held hands between classes and I'm pretty sure neither of us count it.
Used to bother me but I've come to terms with it. Girlfriend or not, I'm still going to be the same old shitty me. I'm bad at maintaining the current friendships I have anyways.

 

[crimea_river]

I come from a pretty hellish background and consequently, the relationships that I've been in have involved similar people.

I've never felt 'complete' even in some of the better relationships anyway, I suppose I just tried to conform. The way that I've always seen it, is that you're born alone and die alone and the bits inbetween are experiences. So, my heart was probably never really in any of them and truth be told, I generally prefer my own company.

I felt that way when I was well too.

 

[NBreatheMe]

Yeah, I was very precouz. Had my first boyfriend when I was 6, he was 5. Had another 3 short terms relationships, nothing serious, I was too young.
At 15 had my first girlfriend, it was horrible, she tried to CTb everytime I broke up with her, so was a back and forth thing.
Then my second girlfriend/boyfriend (change gender at some point of our relationship), he was very violent with me, harass me for years after our break up.
Stayed single for 5 years, until a year ago, I dated this dude, he has asperger's syndrome, so he strugle a lot to cope with my issues, broke up with me after less than 2 months, we're still in touch, but there's no way back, he was very severe when broke up.
I was dating a guy some months ago, he have a baby girl with someone else, then found out he was dating another woman, but actually I was "the other woman".
That's the sum up, I'm too stupid to be in a proper relationship.

 

[Meretlein]

Being asexual must be a really big perk, specially in nowadays society where sex is on every corner.
I see it as a kind of invulnerability. It's like being immune to a certain disease.
While most of the world's population lives almost for sex: they dress in order to get sex; they eat and shape their bodies in order to make them more appealing to their potential sex partners, asexual peolple simply don't give a single fuck about it and can just focus on their lives and other objectives. Sounds great! But is it?

I think it's nice being an aromantic asexual, i'm grateful that I was born as one. But 80% of asexuals have a romantic orientation and it is hard finding another asexual. They either have to get lucky and hit it off with another asexual or try and make their relationship work out with an allosexual.

 

[dandan]

important girlfriends 1, good relationships 3 (gf included)
it was always great, awesome sex,

I always knew I would hurt them because I've been suicidal since the important girlfriend at 26, but never told them that.

 

[AngelGirl]

important girlfriends 1, good relationships 3 (gf included)
it was always great, awesome sex,

I always knew I would hurt them because I've been suicidal since the important girlfriend at 26, but never told them that.

You don't tell your S/O you are suicidal? Why?
Is it because you want to protect them from your problems or are you just distancing yourself not fully trusting them?
Or is there any other reason?

 

[explsionsinthesky]

i had a boyfriend a few years ago. he chased me around giving me chocolates and cards. it was sweet. i fell for him and we had awkward dates but cute conversations. however things got rough when typical school drama stirred up. i was having a rough time and people saw cuts on my wrists and told him about it. he ignored it. later then stayed with me for a few more months later for him to suddenly break up with me and hear from my friend that he lied about loving me because i was too sensitive to handle the truth. took me 2 years to get over him.
then i met my current boyfriend. the love of my life. i want to marry him (but i mean, i'm on here so i probably won't) and he's said he wants to marry me one day too. he saved my life, he gave me 2 more years to live and here i am today. but i have not been the best girlfriend to him, i have put him through hell and still am, one thing after another. it isn't fair for him. i'm having trouble believing that he'll stay no matter what, that he'll love me always but i can't trust it, what if he is lying because he thinks im too sensitive to handle the truth too?
he deserves someone better and i need to make it easy for him and disappear myself so he doesn't have to be the one to leave, he takes promises seriously. maybe it's too hard for him to go against his own words so i can make it easier for him. a gift to him so he can find someone else who is much better

 

[true faith]

Both the 3-year relationships I've been in were codependent. I'm still living with one of those exes and it's as uncomfortable as you might imagine, especially since her boyfriend is living here too and I'm pretty sure he can't stand me.

recently got dumped by a girl I'd been dating for 6 months and had known for years off-and-on, and the other person I was seeing moved out of state for school.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Not officially. I mean, I asked a girl out on Facebook at a younger age, broke up since I wasn't ready and I couldn't even go out the house.

From that point on, I had a chance to get one, but I blew it.

 

[Shamana]

I had 2 very nice, intelligent and attractive girlfriends when I was 17-19. However my depressive tendencies and etc got in the way of them being succesfull relationships. Then I started Lexapro for depression and anxiety as a 20 year old, which permanently left me chemically castrated and lobotomized. So yeah, you couldn't make this shit up if you tried. Havn't had a girlfriend or a sex live since then and when I'm in good shape I look like supermodel and attract a lot of women. I honestly feel like putting a bullet in my psychiatrist head and blow up Lundbeck(makers of lexapro).

 

[Brainpain]

I deeply regret getting married in a good spell. I didn't realize what I was dealing with was chronic and permanent. I didn't realize intermittent anxiety and depression was actually incurable bipolar disorder. My SO will not leave me or let me leave. They are an extremely good person but I have been exhausting and I know it. I feel
Guilty every minute of every day for having ruined his life.

 

[_milo]

Briefly, but yes. We had been friends for some time before and her boyfriend at the time was abusive and I was who she would talk to about it. Eventually she left him and it became more serious between us. But after a short period of time of us being together she told me she felt like she wasn't ready for another relationship. Which I understood since her last had been so hard on her.

However, some time later I learned she just left me for someone else and tried to hide it from me. Sucks but I can't say I'd want me either really.

 

[TAW122]

@Conflicted Cat
I'm in the same boat as well. I didn't have luck with romance either and I'm ok with dying alone. In fact, it does make it easier for me to CTB with few things tethering me to the world. Once my family is gone (both my parents are in their senior years and while their health isn't poor, it is average at best.) and any other connections I have are gone, then I'd really have no family or acquaintances.

 

[Kyrok]

From one-night-stands to 15years of marriage (current).
How each made me feel varied with the person and the time of my life.

One bad break-up, one or two whose feelings I hurt for not returning their feelings.

The best way to get into a relationship: not feel you "need" to be one. Just be present and if it doesn't work out, move on. Sometimes that's easier said than done, but unhealthy need usually ruins things, or even creates a barrier. I was there for a couple years.

 

[Thanatos]

I have but avoid girls in general now. I love too hard too fast plus I'm an awkward anxious wreck who's just miserable to be around, add on the fact that I've lost all libido due to medication and I wouldn't wish myself as a partner on my worst enemy. I love my family and friends but that's all. Can't wait to leave this shithole world or so my deranged mind makes it out to be.

TLDR: I'm a pathetic excuse of a man who is better off dead

Thanks for letting me rant

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

yes...and i feel so lonely

 

[Saga]

i had a few...and most of them are POS

 

[Sh00]

I dated someone for a few months, years ago. Only really did it because it's what I felt I should be doing. The hype about relationships in media and real life is unbelievable. I spent those few months thinking "is this it?". It was basically the same monotonous life but now with someone else tagging along which only added extra inconveniences.

I ended it and have felt no need for a relationship since. It didn't have an impact on my life at all bar teaching me that relationships are something I don't want.

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah I have one now. It's a mixed bag. We're naturally inclined to want what we don't have

 

[a_strange_day]

technically no, I have had a lot of sex partners but I've never let anyone come close enough to call her/him girlfriend/boyfriend.
weird, until not so long ago I didn't even need such a relationhip, raw sex satisfied me enough, now though if I could I would gladly trade this raw sex for something deeper

 

[Xaphous]

Never dated, hugged kissed, almost 30y virgin

 

[HGL91]

I've spent 7 years of my 20s trying to find the 'one'. So done with it. 2 long relationships and some flings in-between just made me lose my sense of self and turned me into an insecure woman. I rather have freedom to live how I want and die how I want.

 

[k75]

Yes. I guess that's never been an issue for me. I'm single now, but I have a couple of FWBs. I've reached a point in my depression where I think I'd rather dodge them, though. It's possible to be with someone and still feel lonely as hell, and that's one of the worst things.

I'm seeing a lot of people hinting that they are somehow less than if they haven't been with someone, but in the end, it doesn't make a difference at all. Relationship experience doesn't define a person. It doesn't make a person any better or worse than anyone else. And it's definitely not any sort of magical cure.

 

[HGL91]

technically no, I have had a lot of sex partners but I've never let anyone come close enough to call her/him girlfriend/boyfriend.
weird, until not so long ago I didn't even need such a relationhip, raw sex satisfied me enough, now though if I could I would gladly trade this raw sex for something deeper

What changed for you to want something deeper?

 

[seekingoblivion]

Nope. Never. Not one. Not even half. I'm too much of a (insert value diminishing profanity here) to be wanted. Hence I sentence myself to be hanged for my crime (of being too much of a...you know).

 

[komm susser todd]

Last time i got kissed by a girl was when i was like....6 or 7. So nah

 

[not_a_robot]

I have but avoid girls in general now. I love too hard too fast plus I'm an awkward anxious wreck who's just miserable to be around, add on the fact that I've lost all libido due to medication and I wouldn't wish myself as a partner on my worst enemy. I love my family and friends but that's all. Can't wait to leave this shithole world or so my deranged mind makes it out to be.

TLDR: I'm a pathetic excuse of a man who is better off dead

Thanks for letting me rant

If this were Tinder, I'd swipe right...

 

[Talpa]

Never dated, hugged kissed, almost 30y virgin

Same here, just that I'm 24. Never experienced even the slightes hint of intimacy or love.

 

[Thanatos]

If this were Tinder, I'd swipe right...

Thanks that actually made me laugh same to you