Have you ever been to the subreddit “suicidebereavement”? What was your impression of it?

[Weebster]

I find it ridiculous that they think the total pain of the suicidal has been transferred to them. It's insulting.

 

[Murasa]

I see it as a better painkiller than just looking for scapegoats, as if that would somehow make up for what was done, regardless of the nonsense that is said there, I couldn't care less as long as it doesn't go beyond that.

Personally, I empathize with those who feel guilt and can't shake it off, guilt-related grief is a horrible thing and in many cases of suicide there will always be the idea that you could have done something else even when your actions were not relevant at all.

 

[cemetorium]

I'm subscribed to that subreddit because I lost a close friend to suicide. I definitely have some issues with how people on the subreddit sometimes act, like generalizing suicidal people as heartless and selfish people, but there's no reason to antagonize the people who are just in pain and grieving from losing a loved one.

I was very deeply affected by my friends suicide and still think about her every single day, but at the end of the day I can't exactly blame her for her decision to die when I know I'm almost certainly going to die by suicide myself. I guess my point is just that there is nothing wrong with people grieving a loss from suicide because (in my opinion) it's a special kind of pain that I don't think most people will understand unless they've personally lost someone to suicide... But there is something wrong with calling the person who died a heartless selfish monster when they ended their life because they themselves were in unbearable pain.

I kind of feel like an outsider in a lot of suicide bereavement groups though, since I do plan on CTB in the near-ish future. I know it will hurt my gf and other loved ones but I can't stand to be alive for much longer... so a lot of non-suicidal people in these groups would probably consider me a selfish monster too lol

 

[Red Scare]

I find it ridiculous that they think the total pain of the suicidal has been transferred to them. It's insulting.

How do you mean? In a lot of ways, it has. The dead person is dead, no longer suffering, they no longer feel anything at all. It's the people left alive that have to deal with it, and sometimes it can be very traumatic.

Like cemetorium says, I find it is a mixed bag. When I first lost my husband, I went there and found comfort reading from people who were going through the same thing, struggling to process the same kinds of emotions... But yeah there are a lot of people there who are just upset, and angry, that's understandable... much like in other places, you'll find people that can't accept that their loved one was suffering that bad, they can't conceive of a situation where it might be preferable to the deceased to be dead rather than live with the pain.

Like the title says, they are bereaved. They will experience a whole lot of complicated emotions. That is grief for you.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I haven't visited it, but I don't care if people think I'm selfish. I'm about to ruin 3+ lives with my decision. That is selfish, but it's my choice. It was impossible for me to give consent to be here and face crushing poverty and anxiety and a fucked brain. I'm leaving this party in less than 40 days. Full stop.

 

[edu0z]

I find it ridiculous that they think the total pain of the suicidal has been transferred to them. It's insulting.

I know that it hurts you to see how other people suffer and do not understand you... it also pains me to think that my family would suffer a lot if I committed suicide and even sometimes it bothers me that they do not understand that there are times when the pain is too strong... but sometime you should get out of your little inner world and try to understand the emotions of others.

 

[NoLightRemains]

I've visited that subreddit a few times as I have lost a few people to suicide. I don't think the total pain has been transferred to me 1:1, but enough pain has been given to me to cause me to start walking towards CTB myself. I just want to copy them and check-out of existence now that I see it's very doable and in my control.

That said, I don't blame them. They were in a lot of pain and now they aren't suffering anymore. I view suicide as inherently selfish, but people have the right to be selfish and choose what is best for them.

 

[_Seeking]

I feel that suicide should not be considered any more selfish than dying from an addiction. No one says that they are selfish, they say that they were suffering from an addiction that they could not gain control over. It is the same for the people who CTB, they could not gain control over the pain in their lives.

 

[hankbank3928]

It seems like they are pretty adamant on guilt tripping the suicidal people.

 

[deathbydragon]

I tend to lurk it out of curiosity. Can't help but feel like so many there just make it harder for themselves by not accepting their loved one was in immense pain and being glad they are no longer suffering - instead, so many of them seem to be sad that they're no longer around to suffer. If you're not willing to let them go, you didn't truly love them.

One post that pissed me off was someone saying a person taking their own life magnifies the pain and then passes it on to everyone else...you seriously think that your pain is more than the suicidal person was feeling, really? The funny thing is, they sign off their post with "To those who have not lost someone, please don't attack or comment. Respect our pain and this one safe place for us." I'm sure everyone here can see the irony in those words.

My comment to people who post there, well to the parents at least - don't breed if you're not willing to accept your child saying no to the hellscape you dragged them into, that they never asked for.

 

[Weebster]

I tend to lurk it out of curiosity. Can't help but feel like so many there just make it harder for themselves by not accepting their loved one was in immense pain and being glad they are no longer suffering - instead, so many of them seem to be sad that they're no longer around to suffer. If you're not willing to let them go, you didn't truly love them.

One post that pissed me off was someone saying a person taking their own life magnifies the pain and then passes it on to everyone else...you seriously think that your pain is more than the suicidal person was feeling, really? The funny thing is, they sign off their post with "To those who have not lost someone, please don't attack or comment. Respect our pain and this one safe place for us." I'm sure everyone here can see the irony in those words.

My comment to people who post there, well to the parents at least - don't breed if you're not willing to accept your child saying no to the hellscape you dragged them into, that they never asked for.

I got banned from there for pointing out their stupidity. One person actually acknowledged that their desire for the person to come back was selfish.