Have you considered streaming your CTB?

[ddn.ctb]

I am actively researching and considering it.

A fantasy would be that I am on a Zoom call with several people asking me questions. And then I stand up and hang myself.

I know all the warnings about ending up on gore sites, but I don't care, The feeling about doing it is probably about a real 8 out of 10.

Other people with similar thoughts? PM me if you want.

 

[Trakehner]

I've considered streaming mine but haven't decided

 

[ddn.ctb]

I've considered streaming mine but haven't decided

I am glad I am not alone on that idea

 

[sserafim]

No, why would I? I consider ctb to be a private act and I don't see a point in streaming it. Why would people want to watch me die? I also am a private person by nature and I don't want people seeing me ctb. I don't even like people seeing me or my face honestly. I always wear either a mask or sunglasses on the rare instances when I go outside. I consider my face as a central/integral part of my identity and privacy and I don't like to show it. I don't even post photos of myself on social media or use my full name cuz I'm paranoid about my privacy…I just don't like being seen or perceived by people. I wish I could be invisible

 

[NoEpoh27]

I've considered it too. My fear is that someone would end up stopping the attempt somehow. Or that I'd chicken out last-minute & end up committed to psych.

 

[ddn.ctb]

I've considered it too. My fear is that someone would end up stopping the attempt somehow. Or that I'd chicken out last-minute & end up committed to psych.

I figure if I was in front of someone watching. I'd be saying the show has to go on!

No, why would I? I consider ctb to be a private act and I don't see a point in streaming it. Why would people want to watch me die? I also am a private person by nature and I don't want people seeing me ctb. I don't even like people seeing me or my face honestly. I always wear either a mask or sunglasses on the rare instances when I go outside. I consider my face as a central/integral part of my identity and privacy and I don't like to show it. I don't even post photos of myself on social media or use my full name cuz I'm paranoid about my privacy…I just don't like being seen or perceived by people. I wish I could be invisible

I do understand your feelings but I understand the wish to be seen passing away

 

[NaNO2_is_the_answer]

My goal is to die. Settings up the streaming devices + countermeasures so that no one can dox me would be another unknown variable that might cause my CTB to fail, so no.

 

[nothingbutmybest]

I've considered it but eventually I decided that I was not special enough to stream it. Not only does it increase risk of being saved and being pressured into it, the recordings will eventually be one of many suicide recordings and it'll just be another generic suicide video.

I do like the idea of being with others, but the people are ultimately strangers. I'd rather silently do it than do a presentation on my own suicide.

 

[day]

I would only do this if I was doing something like SN/OD and wanted some to confirm and document me before death.

 

[jmj2324]

No, not for me. I want to be alone when its my time. I can absolutely respect anyone else's wish to livestream though, as we all have the right to choose.

 

[princexhhn]

i mean i kinda want to but i would never do that. just a sorta proving to people id do it, some dont believe me. I wouldnt actually do it tho, cause theres like 1 or 2 people who still care about me (i think.) and for their sake i wont

 

[Is0lated]

I am actively researching and considering it.

A fantasy would be that I am on a Zoom call with several people asking me questions. And then I stand up and hang myself.

I know all the warnings about ending up on gore sites, but I don't care, The feeling about doing it is probably about a real 8 out of 10.

Other people with similar thoughts? PM me if you want.

I've wanted to do that too but on discord. I thought I should consider it once I'm done with my tasks but it doesn't seem like I'll ever get anything done

 

[colorlesshue]

absolutely, mostly as a final fuck you to send it to my rapist once it's all done.

 

[ddn.ctb]

My goal is to die. Settings up the streaming devices + countermeasures so that no one can dox me would be another unknown variable that might cause my CTB to fail, so no.

Yes I balance the risk of failure in all of this

I've considered it but eventually I decided that I was not special enough to stream it. Not only does it increase risk of being saved and being pressured into it, the recordings will eventually be one of many suicide recordings and it'll just be another generic suicide video.

I do like the idea of being with others, but the people are ultimately strangers. I'd rather silently do it than do a presentation on my own suicide.

I guess my feeling is how streaming will make me so insignificant that the end of my life is nothing more than cheap entertainment and video memes.

I like the sense of being watched long after CTBing

 

[Decayed]

no i want my death to be the end of me as a whole and feel that streaming it would make it so i almost live on through the internet. (i don't know if that makes sense)

 

[ddn.ctb]

I would only do this if I was doing something like SN/OD and wanted some to confirm and document me before death.

When you say document you before your death. Do you mean like a documentary. I've though of creating a documentary of my decision and all the steps beforehand. Show it before I step off and then let others put it together from beginning to end.

I've wanted to do that too but on discord. I thought I should consider it once I'm done with my tasks but it doesn't seem like I'll ever get anything done

I am curious why discord. And how would people find that moment on Discord?

absolutely, mostly as a final fuck you to send it to my rapist once it's all done.

I am sorry about how difficult it must be for you.

 

[AnonymousL]

I am actively researching and considering it.

A fantasy would be that I am on a Zoom call with several people asking me questions. And then I stand up and hang myself.

I know all the warnings about ending up on gore sites, but I don't care, The feeling about doing it is probably about a real 8 out of 10.

Other people with similar thoughts? PM me if you want.

May I ask what makes you consider streaming it? I would never but its very intriguing to hear thoughts about why people do it. I always wonder why people do it when I see gore videos like that.

 

[SmollMushroom]

I don't... Think watching someone die is good... Like, I know you may want support but you are gonna mess up the heads of everyone watching even more...
I mean I know you're all grown ups so I'm not here telling what you should or shouldn't do, do as you please.

Me personally I won't.
I've born alone, lived alone and I'll die alone.

 

[ddn.ctb]

May I ask what makes you consider streaming it? I would never but its very intriguing to hear thoughts about why people do it. I always wonder why people do it when I see gore videos like that.

A combination of wanting to be so insignificant you are only entertainment. And then a feeling of just wanting to entertain no matter how dark it really is.

 

[AnonymousL]

A combination of wanting to be so insignificant you are only entertainment. And then a feeling of just wanting to entertain no matter how dark it really is.

Ah thanks !

About the zoom call, you would try to find people that are interested to watch someone ctb ? And they can ask questions about it ?

Most gore videos I have seen that were streaming their CTB was just on personal media so their friends and family could watch it happen

 

[ddn.ctb]

Ah thanks !

About the zoom call, you would try to find people that are interested to watch someone ctb ? And they can ask questions about it ?

Most gore videos I have seen that were streaming their CTB was just on personal media so their friends and family could watch it happen

The concept of a zoom call makes sense to me. But I'm not sure zoom would be safe to geo locating. But the concept of answering questions before I step off resonates with me.

And I would careless what the questions were

 

[antilife]

Does anyone know if there are streams / videos with inert gas methods? If yes I'd appreciate a link per pm

 

[Summerlilies]

For me no. My main issue is the fact that I feel as though I'm not perceived and wanted and the idea that people are watching me would deter me away from CTB since I'd finally be getting what I want but realizing it's fake anyways and no one actually cares. Plus people might try and change my mind

 

[dizzdesi]

Does anyone know if there are streams / videos with inert gas methods? If yes I'd appreciate a link per pm

I second this. I didnt think I'd ever want to watch someone die, but I'm planning to use nitrogen and want to know what it'll look like
I don't think I would no…but I can understand why someone would. Where do you find these videos anyway? Would I have to download Tor?

 

[AnonymousL]

I second this. I didnt think I'd ever want to watch someone die, but I'm planning to use nitrogen and want to know what it'll look like
I don't think I would no…but I can understand why someone would. Where do you find these videos anyway? Would I have to download Tor?

You don't need to access the dark web for videos like that, they can be found on gore websites

 

[SpencerSees]

Yes, although i would choose a different method then, something more gory or interesting. Give the lovely viewers a show yknow? Doubt I'd do it but it would be impactful at least.

 

[AnonymousL]

Yes, although i would choose a different method then, something more gory or interesting. Give the lovely viewers a show yknow? Doubt I'd do it but it would be impactful at least.

All I can think of is that one video of a guy calmly talking .. then taking a shotgun on a Facebook live if I'm not mistaken while many of his friends were watching.

 

[SpencerSees]

All I can think of is that one video of a guy calmly talking .. then taking a shotgun on a Facebook live if I'm not mistaken while many of his friends were watching.

Ronnie Mcnutt, truly a heartbreaking case

 

[voyager]

No. That moment is mine, and mine alone. Plus, I'd feel uncomfortable, put on the spot, expected to perform and it would deter me from being myself, which (to me) is what it's all about. Wouldn't mind staying in touch with the forum in case something goes wrong or for emotional support, but my mobile carries the risk of intervention, so it's staying behind too.

 

[mafuyu]

i love watching them on those aforementioned gore sites, so yeah. i'd love to do some other sick freak can watch it lol