Goodbye thread for "P"

[badtothebone]

Source: trust me bro

Maybe applies for some people but it can't be a general statement. Since my son died, our life shut down. My dad being to the ER 3 times from heart attach like symptoms. Our life is very sad we don't even sit on the dining table. You can say we have no life without my son. Life doesn't go on not so ever. In fact we died with him.

 

[mapleboy]

" I'll have no choice but to leave the call soon,"
the following part just sounded brutal lmao smh "I have plans with my partner and friends this evening."

I know you didn't mean it like that
But Goes to show that how quickly even family members forget, as soon as you die; the world keeps moving. By bye

I'm sorry, I don't think I understand your intentions with this message.

 

[dz.bouquet]

This was genuinely hard to read, had a tear in my eye.

Know that she had someone by her side during her final moments.
I wish you the very best

And rest in peace P, I hope you are happy wherever you are now

 

[athiestjoe]

That is absolutely powerful to know she had a great friend in you during that time. That says a lot about you and the fact she picked you to be there means she trusted you and you got to gift her the ability to go with peace. Thank you for sharing this. Sending a yearning love to the other side for P and hope to be there soon myself.

 

[thenorthern]

I was not friends with this person, I didn't even chat with them much. She (we'll call her P) messaged me out of the blue a little over a week ago. I had participated in a Zoom call hosted by another member here who CTB'd via SN and livestreamed it using that platform. People were curious about if anyone was able to join the Zoom, so I commented my recollection of the events that took place. P messaged me and asked if I could be there with her while she took her SN. We chatted a bit in call on Discord, she was a lovely woman from the UK. I have no other information about her, not even her name. She was in a lot of mental anguish and didn't want to be alone. P told me that she was contacted by someone on SaSu about purchasing SN, and that she had placed an order. She texted me updates when she tested it, and asked for assistance with the calculations.

P booked a hotel and started her regimen. We agreed to call on Discord today at 5 PM EST. She was very sleepy from the benzos she took. P did not have her camera on, but she was narrating what she was doing at the moment. Sounds from her actions could be heard as well. She prepared her SN drinks. She said she felt really calm, and was happy that I was there. P then started to drink the glass of SN, and commented about how salty it was. It wasn't too bad, I suggested she hold her nose while drinking so it. P described it as just swallowing a spoonful of salt. She had some chewing gum with her to help battle the aftertaste.

About 8 minutes after P ingested the SN, she was having trouble breathing. She was gasping for air, and said her pulse was becoming more rapid. I asked if she felt any pain, and she said no. A minute later, P started violently vomiting. This continued for a few more minutes. It sounded like she was having a seizure, and stopped responding entirely to me. Gurgling sounds could be heard, I think she was still either vomiting fluids, choking on them, or both. After about 5 minutes, it was dead silent. I called out to her, telling her that she was not alone and asking if she could hear me. No response.

As of right now, 6:23 PM EST, I'm still in the Discord call. I don't want to leave her alone. I only hope she's at peace. It sounded like an awful end. I feel really shaky. I'll have no choice but to leave the call soon, I have plans with my partner and friends this evening. I feel like this event is going to weigh heavily on my mind and heart for a long time. It was very out of character for me to agree to being present during a stranger's final moments, I do not wish to do that again. Please do not message me asking if I could do the same for you, it's such a heavy request. I still need time to process everything. I understand it's scary to be alone, that's why I agreed to P's request.

My heart goes out to P, her friends, and her family. I hope you found the peace you were looking for, even though your end was terrifying. Your final moments weren't spent alone.

Damn man. I am so fucking sorry. That sounds so rough. I truly thought it would be more peaceful.

 

[howunfortunateforme]

This sounds horrible anyone know how @athiestjoe is doing?

 

[Chaosire]

That was a hard read, and I can imagine it was even harder to go through.
But I'm glad P didn't have to be alone when she left.
Hope you have been able to process it a lil bit since then.

 

[Rational Actor]

I was not friends with this person, I didn't even chat with them much. She (we'll call her P) messaged me out of the blue a little over a week ago. I had participated in a Zoom call hosted by another member here who CTB'd via SN and livestreamed it using that platform. People were curious about if anyone was able to join the Zoom, so I commented my recollection of the events that took place. P messaged me and asked if I could be there with her while she took her SN. We chatted a bit in call on Discord, she was a lovely woman from the UK. I have no other information about her, not even her name. She was in a lot of mental anguish and didn't want to be alone. P told me that she was contacted by someone on SaSu about purchasing SN, and that she had placed an order. She texted me updates when she tested it, and asked for assistance with the calculations.

P booked a hotel and started her regimen. We agreed to call on Discord today at 5 PM EST. She was very sleepy from the benzos she took. P did not have her camera on, but she was narrating what she was doing at the moment. Sounds from her actions could be heard as well. She prepared her SN drinks. She said she felt really calm, and was happy that I was there. P then started to drink the glass of SN, and commented about how salty it was. It wasn't too bad, I suggested she hold her nose while drinking so it. P described it as just swallowing a spoonful of salt. She had some chewing gum with her to help battle the aftertaste.

About 8 minutes after P ingested the SN, she was having trouble breathing. She was gasping for air, and said her pulse was becoming more rapid. I asked if she felt any pain, and she said no. A minute later, P started violently vomiting. This continued for a few more minutes. It sounded like she was having a seizure, and stopped responding entirely to me. Gurgling sounds could be heard, I think she was still either vomiting fluids, choking on them, or both. After about 5 minutes, it was dead silent. I called out to her, telling her that she was not alone and asking if she could hear me. No response.

As of right now, 6:23 PM EST, I'm still in the Discord call. I don't want to leave her alone. I only hope she's at peace. It sounded like an awful end. I feel really shaky. I'll have no choice but to leave the call soon, I have plans with my partner and friends this evening. I feel like this event is going to weigh heavily on my mind and heart for a long time. It was very out of character for me to agree to being present during a stranger's final moments, I do not wish to do that again. Please do not message me asking if I could do the same for you, it's such a heavy request. I still need time to process everything. I understand it's scary to be alone, that's why I agreed to P's request.

My heart goes out to P, her friends, and her family. I hope you found the peace you were looking for, even though your end was terrifying. Your final moments weren't spent alone.

Jesus, this is horrible. Is this the typical experience when ingesting a lethal dose of SN? If so, I'll find a way to get a gun. Or jump off a 50-story building. Dying in a blind panic and in agony is not how I want to go out.