Has anyone told their family about ctb plans?

[jodes2]

How did it go? I just had a big fight with my gf about my long term plans, apparently I was hiding it but I wasn't

 

[Passersby]

This isn't something that will go over well with most people. Very few if any would actually support you on it and that's a shame I know. Unless it's a really good old friend, or perhaps someone who has really suffered, or the very few people who would slip through the cracks then they won't understand. There responses will vary but overall they will be against it, and maybe even get really mad.

I told a few people, so overall I feel like that was a good thing for me because at least they will know that it's coming when it does happen and not be as surprised. The problem that still persists and one that we can't do anything about is that they probably wont take you seriously though. It really depends on who it is your telling and what there relation ship to you is. Rationalizing it in the right way can help.

 

[Hollowillow]

I don't have a family. Of course if your lover loves you she'll be upset... The grief is a big reason for suicide so it could kill her too. Make sure you're sure? If you're not having stage 4 cancer some reasons might give her a shock... Some reasons could be fixable with her help? Mine can be... But people denied me... Too sick to climb the salvation mountain alone... This time... I think i'll die.

 

[jodes2]

This isn't something that will go over well with most people. Very few if any would actually support you on it and that's a shame I know. Unless it's a really good old friend, or perhaps someone who has really suffered, or the very few people who would slip through the cracks then they won't understand. There responses will vary but overall they will be against it, and maybe even get really mad.

I told a few people, so overall I feel like that was a good thing for me because at least they will know that it's coming when it does happen and not be as surprised. The problem that still persists and one that we can't do anything about is that they probably wont take you seriously though. It really depends on who it is your telling and what there relation ship to you is. Rationalizing it in the right way can help.

Thanks for the reply Frank, really helps

I don't have a family. Of course if your lover loves you she'll be upset... The grief is a big reason for suicide so it could kill her too. Make sure you're sure? If you're not having stage 4 cancer some reasons might give her a shock... Some reasons could be fixable with her help? Mine can be... But people denied me... Too sick to climb the salvation mountain alone... This time... I think i'll die.

I'm sorry you don't have family :( *hugs* we're having a lot of rough patches and she's not coping with things so I suppose I should have expected the reaction, even though my suicidal ity is an old known fact since I've been in hospital twice since I've known her and we even met in hospital when I was there for suicidal ity. I don't know if she has any spare bandwidth to help me with my problems, we just argue all the time.

My Dad knows and he's relatively ok with it because thankfully he understands, I just wish my gf could.

Who denied you? What did they deny you?

 

[Hope:-)]

No. They'd never believe I'd do it anyway.

 

[Sleeper System]

There is no point in telling anyone that you truelly care about your plans if you are really resolved to go through with it. No matter what reason you have, you are doing something completely selfish and weather they accept it or not it is ultimately irrelevant. All you are doing is creating a possible escape route for yourself to possibly be convinced against doing it or be validated in the fact that you have every reason to ctb.

I say leave a letter and express your love in the best way you can and hope that they can come to terms with your choice. It won't be fair and you won't get to see how they take it but it's the best option.

 

[jodes2]

There is no point in telling anyone that you truelly care about your plans if you are really resolved to go through with it. No matter what reason you have, you are doing something completely selfish and weather they accept it or not it is ultimately irrelevant. All you are doing is creating a possible escape route for yourself to possibly be convinced against doing it or be validated in the fact that you have every reason to ctb.

I say leave a letter and express your love in the best way you can and hope that they can come to terms with your choice. It won't be fair and you won't get to see how they take it but it's the best option.

I just had to tell them, I can't hide this thing, if I'm going to be selfish I need to face the repercussions before hand, I don't believe in suicide notes, I don't think I'll be writing any next time round. Anyway I don't think I can express myself properly for suicide notes and I know I won't address what needs to be addressed, by being up front I can make sure everything's been said and understood in theory anyway

.

 

[lionetta12]

How did it go? I just had a big fight with my gf about my long term plans, apparently I was hiding it but I wasn't

I've told my family about it 12 years ago so it's nothing new to them and none were shocked when I mentioned it some days ago.

 

[Sleeper System]

I just had to tell them, I can't hide this thing, if I'm going to be selfish I need to face the repercussions before hand, I don't believe in suicide notes, I don't think I'll be writing any next time round. Anyway I don't think I can express myself properly for suicide notes and I know I won't address what needs to be addressed, by being up front I can make sure everything's been said and understood in theory anyway

.

When you care about someone and you know that an action you say you are going to take will hurt them you should try to make it as painless for THEM as possible. You telling them your plans is about you clearing YOUR conscious and guilt. It's not for them. You protect what you love and telling them you want to ctb can have a variety of different reactions and none of them good.

 

[jodes2]

When you care about someone and you know that an action you say you are going to take will hurt them you should try to make it as painless for THEM as possible. You telling them your plans is about you clearing YOUR conscious and guilt. It's not for them. You protect what you love and telling them you want to ctb can have a variety of different reactions and none of them good.

I think it is precisely for them, because leaving with no notice is more traumatic, and It gives them chances to do something about it so they don't feel guilty about not having been able to help, because they had a chance to try

 

[Sleeper System]

I think it is precisely for them, because leaving with no notice is more traumatic, and It gives them chances to do something about it so they don't feel guilty about not having been able to help, because they had a chance to try

I would take that as you not being serious about your choice. You want to give them false hope. They are already helpless as it is because they can't do anything about how you feel but now they would have to live with the fact that they put effort into helping and it wasn't good enough.

People who lose someone to suicide always tend to say things like " I wish I knew. Maybe I could have done something. Why didn't they talk to me? If they loved me why didn't they trust and confide in me to tell me how they were struggling? " but they don't realize that being helpless to do anything may be better than having what they feel is the opportunity to help and failing.

At the end of acceptance they will be able to understand that it was your choice and it wasnt there fault. That is how people you love start to move on. Why leave them to be haunted by the fact that they failed you.

but that's just one man's opinion.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that I would never see it as a good idea to tell people about plans to ctb as after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised and our right to die is not respected. If others knew about plans then they could potentially interfere and could cause the ctb attempt to fail.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Nah, I don't want anyone interfering. If I wake up I'll be pissed.

 

[Hangnail]

I've implied it but no one cares except my bf. The very bf my mom wants me to break up with lol.

 

[Hercules]

A few of my relatives know that I'm going to ctb. One of them even knows how I'm going to do it.

 

[again_noidea]

How did it go? I just had a big fight with my gf about my long term plans, apparently I was hiding it but I wasn't

i told my mother

When you care about someone and you know that an action you say you are going to take will hurt them you should try to make it as painless for THEM as possible. You telling them your plans is about you clearing YOUR conscious and guilt. It's not for them. You protect what you love and telling them you want to ctb can have a variety of different reactions and none of them good.

it can also show that you trust them to respect your decisions. you can also ask if they have any questions before you go. It gives them a chance to say good by and far well.

 

[jodes2]

i told my mother

it can also show that you trust them to respect your decisions. you can also ask if they have any questions before you go. It gives them a chance to say good by and far well.

Thank you for backing me up!

 

[Euthanza]

My partner knows, few friends too. I have siblings but no family should know cause I don't want to be prevented.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i have normalized suicide around me. all i do is go on about how i hate life and want to die. one of the very first things people learn about me is that im suicidal. (and ive never been in the psych ward)

 

[outatime_85]

I tell no one around me anything regarding my thoughts or feelings, be it about checking out or anything else, and if I'm asked anything, I respond with the usual "I'm fine."

 

[Nightowl]

When I tried I ended up in a psych ward. You can trust no one

I would take that as you not being serious about your choice. You want to give them false hope. They are already helpless as it is because they can't do anything about how you feel but now they would have to live with the fact that they put effort into helping and it wasn't good enough.

People who lose someone to suicide always tend to say things like " I wish I knew. Maybe I could have done something. Why didn't they talk to me? If they loved me why didn't they trust and confide in me to tell me how they were struggling? " but they don't realize that being helpless to do anything may be better than having what they feel is the opportunity to help and failing.

At the end of acceptance they will be able to understand that it was your choice and it wasnt there fault. That is how people you love start to move on. Why leave them to be haunted by the fact that they failed you.

but that's just one man's opinion.

People create their own karma, my family failed me once, by commiting me in a mental hospital, now that I'm gonna hang my self it's gonna hit worse than it would the first time.
I wish I could see their reactions to that but I couldn't unless I faily attempt. And thats my innevitable karma.

i have normalized suicide around me. all i do is go on about how i hate life and want to die. one of the very first things people learn about me is that im suicidal. (and ive never been in the psych ward)

Good for you but also be carefull