hi its been awhile since i was on this but i really need this, today has been bad for me this isn't the full story since I'm not comfortable sharing it.
At first i wanted to ctb ever since i was young, life was hard since my parents argued alot they got better over the years but they did argued alot when i was younger today was a bad one where they argued. My older siblings tell me to make something with my life since they did too but for me it felt like living like i was already died I didn't do well at anything, didn't even have any ambition just doing whatever anyone told me to do and I got into a argument with them when i was criticizing our parents. I told my older sibling about how i plan to die but couldn't and today they used it as ammunition against me. When i first try to ctb i couldn't even take the first step to the place i plan to do it so i thought maybe i could try to be better it didn't last. After the argument i wanted to prove to myself that i wasn't a coward to myself so i want to my balcony {i live on the 3 floor} determined to prove to myself i wasn't a coward instead i couldn't do it just spent the whole damn time repeating i'm not a coward just to chicken out in the end.
i just want it to end is this what hell is like
At first i wanted to ctb ever since i was young, life was hard since my parents argued alot they got better over the years but they did argued alot when i was younger today was a bad one where they argued. My older siblings tell me to make something with my life since they did too but for me it felt like living like i was already died I didn't do well at anything, didn't even have any ambition just doing whatever anyone told me to do and I got into a argument with them when i was criticizing our parents. I told my older sibling about how i plan to die but couldn't and today they used it as ammunition against me. When i first try to ctb i couldn't even take the first step to the place i plan to do it so i thought maybe i could try to be better it didn't last. After the argument i wanted to prove to myself that i wasn't a coward to myself so i want to my balcony {i live on the 3 floor} determined to prove to myself i wasn't a coward instead i couldn't do it just spent the whole damn time repeating i'm not a coward just to chicken out in the end.
i just want it to end is this what hell is like
