Has anyone ever recovered after 30?

[enditplz]

I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and feeling like there was no point in life ever since I was a child. I've been in and out of therapy and no matter how many therapists I've tried, I always eventually feel invalidated and worse off so I stop. Been on multiple different anti-depressants with nothing working. I was disowned by my family during college and lost what little friends I had when I opened up about feeling suicidal. Last year I lost my job, which was the only thing that made me feel like I had purpose. Working never made me happy, I felt stressed all the time, but having something to focus on kept me going. I do have a husband, but I know he'll be fine without me. Seeing him with his huge loving family actually makes me more depressed cause I wish I had a family like that.

I'm in my mid 30s and now I'm thinking I'll never get over these feelings and I'm tired of hoping I'll get better and never being able to. It's just been getting worse the older I get.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and feeling like there was no point in life ever since I was a child. I've been in and out of therapy and no matter how many therapists I've tried, I always eventually feel invalidated and worse off so I stop. Been on multiple different anti-depressants with nothing working. I was disowned by my family during college and lost what little friends I had when I opened up about feeling suicidal. Last year I lost my job, which was the only thing that made me feel like I had purpose. Working never made me happy, I felt stressed all the time, but having something to focus on kept me going. I do have a husband, but I know he'll be fine without me. Seeing him with his huge loving family actually makes me more depressed cause I wish I had a family like that.

I'm in my mid 30s and now I'm thinking I'll never get over these feelings and I'm tired of hoping I'll get better and never being able to. It's just been getting worse the older I get.

I'm in my early 30s and have also had suicidal urges since childhood.

For a lot of us, that urge, that feeling of "maybe I should", will always surface in times of stress or distress (and it seems like you have more than your fair share of both right now!), but it gets easier to ignore on the day-to-day and easier to brush off in moments of not crisis.

I'll have to find a better article, but there are some studies that suggest that a lot of cases of suicide occur within the first year of the onset of these thoughts. If you make it past that first year, the odds of actually taking your own life go down significantly. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763424000630

In my experience, recovery is less about not having suicidal thoughts and more about those thoughts not being overbearing and having other thoughts to replace it with. "I'm going kill my--" "Yeah okay edgelord, finish your coffee so we can go to Walmart and look for those pony beads."