Well then I'm good. Although for me it is quite impossible to work anymore, I did have a job until couple of weeks ago, not that anyone depends on me working, well besides me, but I've got that taken care off. I mean thinking about it more, I have an appeal for disability given my diagnosis but I don't really care anymore, don't even know if it was legal for me to work as I lied and declared that I didn't have mental problems and all that, meh, it's probably fine.
Edit2: no disability would make it worse as I'd only get 100 euros at best when the smallest salary is 500 euros, it will also make it very hard for me to work again having disability that is mental, they can outright deny me, meh, set up for failure, it is what it is.
edit: although for me it's not suicidal ideation but suicidal intention.