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TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
SI = survival instinct.
 
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Bjsnode28

Student
Apr 19, 2019
106
And for whatever it's worth, I flubbed it about midnight Saturday. Spent 15-20 minutes on my knees in the back yard with the muzzle jammed against my head, every muscle tense and shaking, completely unable to move a single finger the necessary 3/4".

Just because it's a reliable method doesn't mean SI can't foil it.

Maybe next time.
I'm sorry for this! I keep telling myself that I will be fine once I actually get the gun but hearing this experience has me a little worried
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
And for whatever it's worth, I flubbed it about midnight Saturday. Spent 15-20 minutes on my knees in the back yard with the muzzle jammed against my head, every muscle tense and shaking, completely unable to move a single finger the necessary 3/4".

Just because it's a reliable method doesn't mean SI can't foil it.

Maybe next time.
Oh dear, I hope I don't run into the same thing with my SI if/when the circumstances in which I must CTB arise. I keep telling myself that I will not hesitate but knowing that your SI kicked in even with a reliable method, this makes me a bit weary about it. Who knows, maybe it's different for everyone though and I don't think I'll truly know how my SI will react, only that I (theoretically) believe that with enough desensitization, I'll just go through with CTB without a second thought, at least I hope so...
 
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Bjsnode28

Student
Apr 19, 2019
106
Oh dear, I hope I don't run into the same thing with my SI if/when the circumstances in which I must CTB arise. I keep telling myself that I will not hesitate but knowing that your SI kicked in even with a reliable method, this makes me a bit weary about it. Who knows, maybe it's different for everyone though and I don't think I'll truly know how my SI will react, only that I (theoretically) believe that with enough desensitization, I'll just go through with CTB without a second thought, at least I hope so...
What method are you planning?
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Everyone's SI is different --mine seems to be damnably strong-- but I promise you, from my own experience and from others' accounts, having a gun to use is absolutely no insurance against SI spoiling the attempt. Don't imagine for an instant that a gun makes everything certain.

As for desensitization, I wish I could say it helps for certain, but with as many hours as I have spent pointing a gun at my head and pulling the trigger, listening to it click! and getting used to the pressure behind my ear, it meant nothing.

In the realm of the theoretical, this might be a good argument for using a revolver: perhaps playing "Russian Roulette" with only one or two rounds in the gun, not knowing for certain whether it will fire or not, might undermine SI by removing the certainty that you are about to die. "Maybe I will and maybe I won't" might introduce enough variability to keep your SI from kicking in. Or it might make it worse. I'm just guessing, and I don't have a revolver with which to test the theory.
 
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Bjsnode28

Student
Apr 19, 2019
106
I think I've settled on a 9mm whether I'll buy used or new is still up in the air. I've read that glock and s&w are the best. Anything else I need to know?
 
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Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
77
Handguns are ok though, right? I mean I can't see myself even being able to use a shotgun.
They aren't nearly as powerful, they create roughly 1/4 to 1/3 as much fl-lbs as a shotgun loaded with 00 buckshot which produces roughly 1,500 fl-lbs. Also consider barrel diameter, a 9mm is .355 in where as a 12 gauge is .72-.73. The numbers are better. I've been shot and a good thing to consider is the huge destructive power of the expelled and expanding gas, the power is enormous and I cannot think of a more effective way to die. Unless one is able to effectively shoot themselves with a shotgun while driving of a cliff it's the best way. Take the shot gun if you have the choice or option. This is serious business.
I think I've settled on a 9mm whether I'll buy used or new is still up in the air. I've read that glock and s&w are the best. Anything else I need to know?
I really urge you to go with a shotgun. But both glock and s & w and good. Make sure to test the trigger so as to get the best one.
 
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AE496

Member
May 7, 2019
26
@thrw_a_way1221221 Thanks for all the useful info. I am a resident of Argentina, where getting a gun is doable but a bit tricky. I do travel to the US quite often on business on a visitor/business visa. I was thinking of getting a gun while in the US but I hear most US states do not allow foreigners to purchase guns. Do you know if this is doable?
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
It will be very, very impractical and unlikely. Not only is it illegal unless you are a resident of said state (which I don't think you will just be able to be on that visa - there might be a loophole or law, but again IANAL and haven't researched this aspect). Also, finding the loophole such as going to gunshows to buy one is also tricky in general and next to impossible for someone who isn't from the US. Sorry that you are unable to obtain a firearm. :(
 
A

AE496

Member
May 7, 2019
26
It will be very, very impractical and unlikely. Not only is it illegal unless you are a resident of said state (which I don't think you will just be able to be on that visa - there might be a loophole or law, but again IANAL and haven't researched this aspect). Also, finding the loophole such as going to gunshows to buy one is also tricky in general and next to impossible for someone who isn't from the US. Sorry that you are unable to obtain a firearm. :(
Thank you. Yes, I would not qualify as resident of a US state on any visa besides a green card. There is no loophole. I called Cabellas once and they told me that I could purchase a firearm if I show a hunting permit from country of origin, which defeats the point.

Anyways, it is not impossible to get a gun in Argentina. It just takes some time and doing.
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
I just came across this recent article discussing various traits of firearms suicides, as seen by a medical examiner:

 
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at355

New Member
May 23, 2019
3
So would a .45 caliber pistol aimed behind the ear mean instant and certain death? Any type of ammo would work?
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
So would a .45 caliber pistol aimed behind the ear mean instant and certain death? Any type of ammo would work?
Is shotgun best? 12ga slug or buckshot?
Take the time to actually read the thread, people. All your questions have already been answered by people who put a lot of effort into helping you.
 
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at355

New Member
May 23, 2019
3
I did read the thread.

What about this guy who shot himself in the temple with a .45? He seemed to die instantly and there was not much of a mess. Would behind the ear still be better?
 
T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
Yes, that is a well known video. Can you die with a shot to the temple? With a large enough caliber gun and the right aim, yes, it is quite obviously possible. Is it the most assured of success? Not if you go by anatomy, no, and it becomes less certain as the caliber gets smaller.

Thank you for reading the thread. Knowing that you have assures me you now posess all the information (and opinion) this forum has been able to aggregate, and you are as well informed as any of us here to make the decision you feel is best for you.

Choice of gun, ammo, and aim point are now entirely up to you.
 
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C

Cleopatra123

Arcanist
Jun 8, 2019
488
Here's another diagram for those wondering where the brainstem is relative to the other features of your head. Aim for the pink circle:

View attachment 4213
I cannot tell from the above picture of the brainstem, where and directionally to point the gun. Is it over the ear, to the back of, under, or is the temple correct. More direction on where to place the gun on your head would be very helpful. Thanks
 
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BipolarExpat

BipolarExpat

Accomplished faker
May 30, 2019
698
I cannot tell from the above picture of the brainstem, where and directionally to point the gun. Is it over the ear, to the back of, under, or is the temple correct. More direction on where to place the gun on your head would be very helpful. Thanks

Most have said:
in back of the mouth and slightly up.
 
C

Cleopatra123

Arcanist
Jun 8, 2019
488
Thank you bipolar, the throat points down. How far down the mouth should the gun go. I have called a gun shop, gosh, what they want to obtain one in NYS is daunting, a class, fingerprints, notary, references. I'm too old for all of that. Anyone know how I can get one quickly and easily. I am thinking of a handgun. Tks. Cleo
 
Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Member
Jun 16, 2019
48
Hi guys! I'm a new member here and this is my first post.

I hope I'm in the right thread because I'm ready to get right down to details about shotguns, as well as give a (hopefully) brief description of my case/life situation.

I'm very grateful for the resources posted at the beginning of this thread! This information is PRECIOUS!

So I'm a 26 year old male living in California, which from what I read is a state where gun-buying freedom might be slightly compromised. I live in a half-way house for recovering addicts who are dually-diagnosed with a co-existing mental disorder (mine is Bi-Polar II). I was diagnosed at age 17 due to a supposed manic episode I experienced as a reaction to taking Paxil. Although I do not outright wish to refute the diagnosis, I would personally describe myself, as I have been at least since prepubescence, to have OCD, Generalized Anxiety and Depression. Substance abuse disorder came later for me around age 19-20. OCD is majorly predominant for me right now and I am currently recovering from many subsequent methamphetamine relapses.

Down to brass tax: I've become adamant about ending my life and I DREAM of doing it with a shotgun, just like the one from the link, a Maverick 88 12-Gauge. It looks pretty easy to order one from Bud's Gun shop but I MUST refrain from impulsivity and over-excitement so I can plan this out right. Here's a bullet-point list of questions and concerns of mine:

- I have a criminal history. I have been arrested 3 times for public intoxication, once for possession of controlled substance & paraphernalia, and once for a hit & run with reckless driving. I successfully completed DEJ court for the drug possession arrest and that charge was supposedly expunged. All of these crimes were considered misdemeanors and I have no felonies. The driving incident was very recent and I still have to go to court for that in August. Where does this come into play when it comes to buying a shotgun online?

- Let's say I go to pick up my gun from my local FFL and I am denied due to a failed background check. Will anyone find out that I tried to purchase the gun? The police? I'm a bit paranoid.

- Option B: I order a muzzleshot/black powder (I forgot exactly what it's called) which as I read from this thread can be delivered right to my front door without a background check. Is the shipping discreet? I live in an environment where counselors are around knocking on doors to houses, walking around and running the program, and I share a house currently with 2 other people (the capacity is 4 total and will soon be 5 including myself) so there's a good chance someone will see the package sitting out there, or if not, one of my house mates will bring it inside. If someone figures out it's a shotgun I will be reported, sent to the hospital, probably be evicted, and then all goes to hell, I lose my freedom, I lose the trust from my parents, and... I've been through all of that a few times. Just because the world is setup that way and that's how people respond to something like that... itself is one of the main reasons I want to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! This world is full of misguiding fools in authoritative positions and consequences are unjust.

- If I get the gun and the bullets and I'm ready to go, just a couple last things to consider - I saw the picture of the "happy spot" to aim for and I'm pretty sure how to figure that out - I'm just a bit concerned about flinching and throwing off my aim at the last second, because I know the gun must have a very powerful recoil.

- Where's the best place to do it? In my house, in my room, everything can be heard through the walls, soft conversation, a cough, anything. Is loading the gun, assembling it, figuring all of that out and taking a few minutes to position it going to draw any attention? One of my room mates could safely assume from the noise that I'm playing with a gun and he might feel in danger and then who knows what could go down.

I hope that's not considered too much information for a first post on a megathread! I look forward to becoming integrated into this community if it turns out to be a helpful place for me.
 
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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
To the best of my knowledge...
• Only a felony (or involuntary incarceration for mental issues) will hinder you purchasing a gun.
• A failed background check is not reported to the police, it only means they won't sell you the gun.
• I suspect a black powder gun purchased over the intenet will arrive in discrete packaging just to discourage theft, but I wouldn't guarantee it.
• Flinching is definitely a concern, but practicing "dry firing" until the drill becomes routine is about the only way I know of to mitigate the concern.
• Best place is entirely at your discretion. As for the noise, that's something only you will be able to tell.

Be very, very careful to keep the gun secured against your housemates. That is a very sketchy situation to bring a gun into, and the amount of damage that could occur should someone irresponsible get hold of your gun is staggering --and the blame will unequivocally be on you.

Far be it from me to tell someone how to manage their risks, or to seek the end of their life, but given your living situation I urge you to consider a method less susceptible to theft and misuse.
 
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Roger

Roger

I Liked Ike
May 11, 2019
972
Is black powder generally legally available in the US ? The burning characteristics of BP mean that here in UK you need a separate Explosives Certificate in order to buy it.
A Cap and Ball Revolver isn't caught by the general prohibition on short firearms, but you still need to have a Firearm Certificate. They are considered "muzzle loading" even though they load directly into each chamber rather than through the muzzle. It can be a bit difficult to get authority to acquire spare cylinders sometimes, as these give the fastest means of reloading.
 
Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Member
Jun 16, 2019
48
Thanks for the replies!

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking now:

I'll be moving in September, probably to a much more affordable area where I will be renting my own apartment. That should be a much safer situation to receive the shipment of the gun. Making this move also eliminates my concern about making noise.

BUT I won't have to worry about shipment of the gun if I can purchase one legally from Bud's Guns and pick it up at an FFL. So here's what it would look like:

- I order the gun from Bud's Guns as well as some bullets. I pay with my debit card or credit card, and will probably receive an email confirmation about when the gun ships, when it arrives and where to go to pick it up.

- I go to the FFL to pick up the gun. They do a background check. I pass. I leave with the gun all bundled up, gift-wrapped in vibrant paper with a big shiny bow on it.

- I come home to peace and solitude and open the gun and can have it, hold it, and look at it for as long as I want. I can dry fire without making noise that neighbors will hear.

- Unable to contain my excitement any longer, I will blow off my head. I MUST NOT END UP LIKE THIS GUY! The girls will all think I'm so ugly! https://images.gorejunkies.com/1/3680154765ed030a08.jpg

Any information about the whole living in California thing? I mean I'll be a big boy and do my own research but I might as well see if anyone here knows off hand about the details of that.
 
J

Jessica5

Specialist
May 22, 2019
347
I have to wonder how effective shooting upward from underneath the throat would be.

You can actually see where you're aiming. And you'd actually be aiming toward the brain. Unlike those idiots who put the gun directly underneath the chin. (Somehow failing to realize that the chin isn't underneath the brain.)
Thanks for the replies!

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking now:

I'll be moving in September, probably to a much more affordable area where I will be renting my own apartment. That should be a much safer situation to receive the shipment of the gun. Making this move also eliminates my concern about making noise.

BUT I won't have to worry about shipment of the gun if I can purchase one legally from Bud's Guns and pick it up at an FFL. So here's what it would look like:

- I order the gun from Bud's Guns as well as some bullets. I pay with my debit card or credit card, and will probably receive an email confirmation about when the gun ships, when it arrives and where to go to pick it up.

- I go to the FFL to pick up the gun. They do a background check. I pass. I leave with the gun all bundled up, gift-wrapped in vibrant paper with a big shiny bow on it.

- I come home to peace and solitude and open the gun and can have it, hold it, and look at it for as long as I want. I can dry fire without making noise that neighbors will hear.

- Unable to contain my excitement any longer, I will blow off my head. I MUST NOT END UP LIKE THIS GUY! The girls will all think I'm so ugly! https://images.gorejunkies.com/1/3680154765ed030a08.jpg

Any information about the whole living in California thing? I mean I'll be a big boy and do my own research but I might as well see if anyone here knows off hand about the details of that.


I'm about 99.999% sure that picture is a fake. Anybody who blows off that much of their face would die in seconds. Seriously, people can create almost any fake photos they want. This isn't 1987 or something.

With that being said, there are plenty of real pictures of shotgun to the face survivors that look hideous.
 
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Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Alpha_Draco_Pegasus

Member
Jun 16, 2019
48
I'm about 99.999% sure that picture is a fake. Anybody who blows off that much of their face would die in seconds. Seriously, people can create almost any fake photos they want. This isn't 1987 or something.

With that being said, there are plenty of real pictures of shotgun to the face survivors that look hideous.

Bah, I'm always so naive about that. How do I know if it's a fake picture? Where do I find the real pictures?

About shooting upward from underneath the throat... how would that look exactly, putting the gun between the chin and the adam's apple, or between the adam's apple and the bottom of the neck? Either way, how could you see? And is it a 315 degree (mirrored 45) aim? 0/360 degrees being straight up through the chin and 270 being straight through the back of the neck. Anyway how do you see??
 
J

Jessica5

Specialist
May 22, 2019
347
Bah, I'm always so naive about that. How do I know if it's a fake picture? Where do I find the real pictures?

About shooting upward from underneath the throat... how would that look exactly, putting the gun between the chin and the adam's apple, or between the adam's apple and the bottom of the neck? Either way, how could you see? And is it a 315 degree (mirrored 45) aim? 0/360 degrees being straight up through the chin and 270 being straight through the back of the neck. Anyway how do you see??


Type in shotgun suicide survivors into google. You'll get credible photos from newspapers or magazines.

That picture is a picture that's been floating around various gore websites for years. I have a hard time imagining it's real.
 
W

whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
356
So I found my dads shotgun. Couldn't tell what kind of shells they were but I know he uses it for hunting deer and bigger game. That should be good right?
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
Well for deer hunting I believe it would either be buckshot or slugs (I doubt he would use anything less for big game like deer). Yes, buckshot (especially 00) and slugs would be more than sufficient to CTB. Just make sure you aim correctly and never shoot underneath the chin as that would result in a greater chance of failure.
 
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