miiau_
Member
- Jun 21, 2023
- 9
recently i had an argument with my partner over how i keep pushing everyone away. he feels like im treating him as acquaintances despite knowing each other for so long, i feel like he's the closest thing to a tether i have.
i'm not able to let anyone help me, i deny basic things like food, water or sleep, just for the sake of being able to hurt myself with it.
i asked if we could break up so i could cbt in peace, he was hurt but said he's not going anywhere.
he said something along the lines of "your hate for yourself is stronger than your love for me" and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
i don't know what to do. i don't want to keep hurting the people i love most, but i feel like dying is the only thing i can do to repay all the hurt i've caused everyone by being like this.
im disgusted by myself but that feeling keeps seeping through to the things i hold dear. i don't know how to go on.
i'm not able to let anyone help me, i deny basic things like food, water or sleep, just for the sake of being able to hurt myself with it.
i asked if we could break up so i could cbt in peace, he was hurt but said he's not going anywhere.
he said something along the lines of "your hate for yourself is stronger than your love for me" and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
i don't know what to do. i don't want to keep hurting the people i love most, but i feel like dying is the only thing i can do to repay all the hurt i've caused everyone by being like this.
im disgusted by myself but that feeling keeps seeping through to the things i hold dear. i don't know how to go on.
