Guess im not acting as normal as i thought...

[COP2CON]

So today I nearly passed out. The nurse happened to be at our unit doing pill call (giving out meds and insulin). Me and her are cool so I go ask to take my blood pressure. While I don't seek treatment for anything serious, I still like to know what's up. Blood pressure is extremely high and she goads me to get it checked out because I could have a stroke if it gets much higher. I just stand there and she suddenly says "it might not kill you" and at that moment I knew she knew. It was kind of funny. Thought a little comical suicide related story might lighten the mood. About to roll a chain gang cigarette (don't smoke kids) and ponder the mysteries of the universe.

I don't know any of you personally but for whatever is going on in your life, I'm sorry; the pain, the trauma, I know it all well too; I care about you and your not alone. I hope you continue trying but if its all too much I understand. If I can help any of you I'm here for a kind word and open ear. I came to this site for the same reasons and feelings as most of you but regardless of what may come or when, I'm here now. Be well everyone.

 

[madwoman]

Sometimes I really just want to be able to say it or joke about it esp since I like dark humor. To be able to have a real moment with someone without worrying they'll try to stop me, feel guilty, or get all weirded out. I mean I guess this space we can talk about suicide without judgement but yeah wish I could irl. That sounds like a nice moment of being real with someone and feeling seen without it being spelled out.

Hope your b/p gets better & I care about you too & you aren't alone either. It's nice to see a post from you

 

[CatLvr]

Or maybe she realizes a lot of folks in prison "go there" in their heads and she just took a stab to see if she hit a nerve??

If you haven't tried meditation, it will take some practice but hey!! all you have is time, right? (You and @madwoman aren't the only connoisseurs of dark humor hanging around this joint. ) Anyway, might give it a whirl -- but take whatever they prescribe until you get the hang of it. It might help, might not.