Discussion Group Therapy Session (JK) I have a question for my sad human friends.

[Sleeper System]

Is there anything that lives rent free in your mind?

A thought you constantly have?

A person you can't stop thinking about?

A place or event that's stuck in your mind?

A deep worry about something in your life?

For me, it's the control that i'm forced to relinquish to the uncertainty of life.
The people I love will die. Problems will always come. You can try to prepare but it's futile.
Constant worry about trying to mitigate disaster in my life and spare myself needly suffering. Yikes.

What about you?

 

[Oudenophobia]

Honestly, it all just seems so pointless in the grand scheme of things. You can spend your whole life filling up your book with stories, memories, people, and all things in between, yet I'll eventually die like everyone else.

 

[Abyssal]

Is there anything that lives rent free in your mind?

Death, I guess?

A thought you constantly have?

Not to be edgy, but also death.

A person you can't stop thinking about?

i can't stop thinking about my cat, but i doubt that's what youre looking for. I am a bit detached even to those I consider friends.

A place or event that's stuck in your mind?

A couple. My elementary school where all my pain started and the hospital I was in during one of my past attempts. More recently I've been thinking of my nn attempt, but it'll pass.

A deep worry about something in your life?

I fear the future. I can't envision it and I am used to nothing going are planned. It scares me.

 

[thinvy]

I think a lot about the man I loved in school, and still love. We live in different worlds now, separated by over a thousand miles. He's probably forgotten all about me and the wonderful time we had together, but I'm okay with that. I always expected our love to be an ephemeral flame. We're not long for this world anyways, and I'm not the person he was in love with anymore, and neither is he, probably.

I also worry about my sweet cat a lot. Shes not even elderly. in cat years, she's probably only a bit older than me. She's mostly healthy, just eats too fast and hates slow feeders, but I still am terrified of the day she'll die. This cat has been my everything for too long.

There's many more silly things that live rent free in my head, the traumas we remember, the haunting lack of memories for those we don't, financial concerns, and also silly things, like how astarion is such a pretty character. I'm an existential nihilist, and while that certainly does come with spirals of "oh god nothing I'll ever do matters and no one cares :(", it also comes with the moments of "ah. nothing matters in the grand scheme of things, it's okay :)" when I do silly things that upset me.

There's also the constant thought of "oh god I wanna die pls kill me" but of course, I feel like that's to be expected here.

 

[saddo]

I think mine is just feeling like a total failure at life. It's just a really strong feeling of just feeling horrible about myself and thoughts about being a loser/ failing at everything. It just stays with me and I just sit around unable to focus on anything and feeling horrible. I'm in my 50s now and it's worse than ever. Another one is just that feeling that nothing can help me. I'm just too messed up. If anything would've helped it probably would've happened by now.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Is there anything that lives rent free in your mind?

The thought of how I'll be in peace once I'm dead

A thought you constantly have?

The thought of how I'll be in peace once I'm dead

A person you can't stop thinking about?

No

A place or event that's stuck in your mind?

No

A deep worry about something in your life?

I'm worried that I'm still forced to suffer in this life because I'm still alive

 

[hurting]

Hopelessness due to poverty and medical disability. This is what controls my mind.

 

[ScubaCTB]

Just what could have been. If my parents never got divorced. If I had married "her" in the mid-1990s. If my psychological childhood trauma didn't lead to all my reckless, stupid behaviors and bad decisions at every turn. Really sucks just going through the motions everyday, for a LONG time.

 

[dinosavr]

All I keep thinking about is death and me at my shrink's office telling her everything I think just because I sometimes feel like I would like to say it all out loud to someone else than me, but I can't do it anywhere outside my imagination cause I don't want anyone to know how dark it gets in there in between my ears. I also love imagining everyone's reaction to my death. I lived in a small town where everyone knows each other so they will all find out about it and I can't stop imagining their shocked faces lol I've always been so shy and quiet and then boom I'm the topic number one

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Yeah. I am worried that death is not the end. And I will be forced to live another life of misery here in the facility called planet Earth.

 

[DazaiKinnie]

Is there anything that lives rent free in your mind?

When I die, I won't have to deal with any of this.

A thought you constantly have?

I won't be able to be myself no matter what. I had to hide how I felt from people my entire life. I feel like people around me value fitting into a mold more than being yourself. Online is the only place I can be myself. In real life I don't even feel human anymore. I always feel like the body I am in isn't mine, if I look myself in the mirror I tell myself, this isn't me, it's like my body is just a vessel for a brain that didn't want to be in there.

A person you can't stop thinking about?

My best friend.

A place or event that's stuck in your mind?

I don't have that many since my memory is fucked up. A more recent one is me stopping my self-denial about myself. I don't feel like a human being, yet I still try to interact with humans and identify with them, something makes me feel disconnected from them, especially people of my gender.

A deep worry about something in your life?

If I go on living I won't be able to adapt to human society, something will still feel missing, and death will feel more appealing then as well. It feels like no matter what steps I take, my mind will still want to die.

 

[Hollowman]

My mind's blank nothing lives rent free in there anymore.

 

[ATort]

Started seeing an enby I met at work that was a customer (liqour store/retail) I'm in a polly relationship with a primary partner for over 7 yrs and something happened that crossed some lines in our relationship, I hurt both people. And myself in the process. But one thing that messes with me the most is that I'm mostly hurting over the newer person i started seeing and feel like I destroyed my opportunity for my perfect partner had things played out better and I could communicate like a normal person. So basically I can't stop thinking about them non stop.

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

Fear-based thoughts live in my head rent free. I have also created this perfect imaginary version of myself that I constantly daydream about.

 

[almondmilk]

Is there anything that lives rent free in your mind?

ctb

A thought you constantly have?

what if things were different

A person you can't stop thinking about?

my parents ( i love them to death honestly) my ex (i miss him so bad)

A place or event that's stuck in your mind?

idk, i tend to disassociate and blurr stuff that make me feel shitty

A deep worry about something in your life?

for short-term , tomorrow's job interview , but for long term , how tf am i gonna deal with this pathetic loneliness and emptiness

 

[uzuf86]

What lives rent free in my head 24x7 is guilt and regrets.
I fucked my life up all by myself, and while I was doing it, I never realized I was doing so.

 

[mark404]

For me what lives rent free is constant anxiety about whether I'll be able to make it through the day without fucking up at my job, not having any health problems, no emergencies/accidents, etc.. Honestly I just wish I could be safe lol.