Got everything ready to CTB!

[The Byronic Boy]

I bought the N in a city in the Peruvian Amazon called Tarapoto. The very first store I tried. They didn't ask me any questions, very easy. I also bought the antiemetic pills necessary for the process.

Long story short, I suffer from an incurable chronic pain condition and there's no way I'm getting better, so I rather die with dignity than live a lifetime of pain and the toll it takes on my mind.

My next step now is to plan everything for my death to be as easy as it can be for everybody and to do everything I need to do before I go. I want to thank this forum for giving me the knowledge about the N and the logistics behind it and for giving me peace to find a death with dignity.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Sweet dreams.

 

[watchdog]

Hope everything goes the way you planned ^ I hope you find your peace

 

[Timothy7dff]

Good luck!

 

[Eudaimonic]

I hope you find peace.

 

[mainlanders_son]

Goddamn. Jealous.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

So wonderful to hear people can acquire this. Do you have a timeline? Best wishes.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Are you going to use all four bottles? Nice to let people know what city they can find it in. Please keep the community posted OP. Good luck to you. You're very fortunate to have such means.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Well done, thank you for sharing.
Wishing you a peaceful journey!

 

[The Byronic Boy]

So wonderful to hear people can acquire this. Do you have a timeline? Best wishes.

I don't have a timeline yet, just starting to plan it all now that I have the means, but I think I will CTB in a month, three months tops, really, because I can't carry on living much longer with my chronic pain, it's not good for me.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I don't have a timeline yet, just starting to plan it all now that I have the means, but I think I will CTB in a month, three months tops, really, because I can't carry on living much longer with my chronic pain, it's not good for me.

Wishing you the best, chronic pain is awful.

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Are you going to use all four bottles? Nice to let people know what city they can find it in. Please keep the community posted OP. Good luck to you. You're very fortunate to have such means.

I think so, yeah, I'm not really sure yet if I should use all four. I've read three are enough but it's good to have another one just in case, I guess.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be a relief to have access to such a way to free yourself from all the suffering, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Thank you everyone! It is a relief, indeed. I've been living with chronic pain for a long time and it only got worse and worse through the years. It took a long time for me to get a diagnosis and the last years have been specially hard, even with pain medication.

So I'm thankful I've got the N. I didn't expect to get it so easily. I think they didn't ask any questions because the area is known for cattle raising, so I guess they assumed it was for something related to it. The salesman was very friendly and had such a happy face through the whole interaction. It was curious. Like a happy angel of death.

The bottles are littler than I expected. One bottle fits inside the grip of a hand. I know they are bitter. I wonder how bitter, though. I will have a soda ready to drink afterward to mask the taste.

I plan to do it a month from now. I want to leave everything ready and I also want to read some books and listen some music and watch some series and movies. I shall be fine. I'm in peace now.

 

[iloverachel]

Good luck my friend
Wish you peace and to be free from suffering

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you all the best and good luck. I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. I hope you find peace!

 

[Esokabat]

Thank you everyone! It is a relief, indeed. I've been living with chronic pain for a long time and it only got worse and worse through the years. It took a long time for me to get a diagnosis and the last years have been specially hard, even with pain medication.

So I'm thankful I've got the N. I didn't expect to get it so easily. I think they didn't ask any questions because the area is known for cattle raising, so I guess they assumed it was for something related to it. The salesman was very friendly and had such a happy face through the whole interaction. It was curious. Like a happy angel of death.

The bottles are littler than I expected. One bottle fits inside the grip of a hand. I know they are bitter. I wonder how bitter, though. I will have a soda ready to drink afterward to mask the taste.

I plan to do it a month from now. I want to leave everything ready and I also want to read some books and listen some music and watch some series and movies. I shall be fine. I'm in peace now.

Will you take it back to your country of origin? I have a house with a mortgage in Europe and I don't know if I should sell it and then go to Peru, but what if I cannot find N, and I already sold my house. I don't want to leave my elderly parents with a bank mortgage. So the house has to be sold, so the most ideal scenario would be to take the N back to Europe, but I am not sure how realistic it is to travel/ fly with N...

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Will you take it back to your country of origin? I have a house with a mortgage in Europe and I don't know if I should sell it and then go to Peru, but what if I cannot find N, and I already sold my house. I don't want to leave my elderly parents with a bank mortgage. So the house has to be sold, so the most ideal scenario would be to take the N back to Europe, but I am not sure how realistic it is to travel/ fly with N...

I won't take it back to my country of origin. It's very risky to do so. Or everything seems to point that it is. I decided to die in the Amazon because I like the idea of it. It's summer all the year but it rains sometimes. It's very peaceful and also, I don't know, it feels so alive, like me dying and my body coming back to nature. I'm dying in a room, but still, at least spiritually, it feels right. Death in the Amazon is my new aesthetic.

 

[Esokabat]

I won't take it back to my country of origin. It's very risky to do so. Or everything seems to point that it is. I decided to die in the Amazon because I like the idea of it. It's summer all the year but it rains sometimes. It's very peaceful and also, I don't know, it feels so alive, like me dying and my body coming back to nature. I'm dying in a room, but still, at least spiritually, it feels right. Death in the Amazon is my new aesthetic.

That is a beautiful sentiment. I might do the same. Thank you for sharing.

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Went on a bus tour today. The Peruvian Amazon is so green and beautiful. Vegetation everywhere. The landscape brings me peace about the decision I've made. Getting into a state of mind when I'm ready to say goodbye to life in a way that feels good to me.

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'm wishing you peace on you're journey , and freedom from you're suffering

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

View attachment 136266

I bought the N in a city in the Peruvian Amazon called Tarapoto. The very first store I tried. They didn't ask me any questions, very easy. I also bought the antiemetic pills necessary for the process.

Long story short, I suffer from an incurable chronic pain condition and there's no way I'm getting better, so I rather die with dignity than live a lifetime of pain and the toll it takes on my mind.

My next step now is to plan everything for my death to be as easy as it can be for everybody and to do everything I need to do before I go. I want to thank this forum for giving me the knowledge about the N and the logistics behind it and for giving me peace to find a death with dignity.

May I ask did you fly back to your home country or do you live in Peru?

 

[Raindancer]

Journey well my friend and I wish you peace. I suffer with chronic pain so I understand the toll it takes. The area looks beautiful and sounds like a very peaceful place to go.

 

[The Byronic Boy]

May I ask did you fly back to your home country or do you live in Peru?

I'm from Europe. I plan to die here. It's too risky to try to get the N into Europe. I have the understanding that one could even go to jail for doing so, or so I've read.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I'm not sure if it goes against site policy or could lead to issues, but are we allowed to share what store it was in the city. Either way, appreciate you sharing the city you obtained it and enjoy the end of your journey.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

I'm from Europe. I plan to die here. It's too risky to try to get the N into Europe. I have the understanding that one could even go to jail for doing so, or so I've read.

Oh wow, so essentially you have moved to Peru for your final months? That's very interesting and shows much determination.

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Oh wow, so essentially you have moved to Peru for your final months? That's very interesting and shows much determination.

Yeah, I think through the years I somehow had hope that my chronic pain would get better or go away, but it didn't and it only got worse and worse, so hope fades little by little like a tree losing leaf by leaf. So there's a lot of heartbreak in my decision, because I really hoped things would have turned out better for me. But they didn't. And I have accepted it and then I have decided that I don't wanna live like this forever. The pain will drive me insane. So I have decided to die.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

Yeah, I think through the years I somehow had hope that my chronic pain would get better or go away, but it didn't and it only got worse and worse, so hope fades little by little like a tree losing leaf by leaf. So there's a lot of heartbreak in my decision, because I really hoped things would have turned out better for me. But they didn't. And I have accepted it and then I have decided that I don't wanna live like this forever. The pain will drive me insane. So I have decided to die.

Wow, that is just really sad to hear. Does it feel strange to be living in a foreign country in the last moments of your life? Most people want to die peacefully at home so this is quite a drastic move on your part.

As for being charged and going to prison for bringing the drugs into a country where they're illegal, I on't believe that there have been any cases of imprisonment for this one. Do you know of any? A couple people have gotten charged and been given fines and probation but I think usually what happens is the authorities will just confiscate it. All this assuming of course that you're carrying only enough for"one time use "

 

[Dliena]

I wish you all greatest luck in achieving everlasting eternal peace from anymore pains hurting you ever again whenever you plan to board the bus to forever freedom!

 

[The Byronic Boy]

Wow, that is just really sad to hear. Does it feel strange to be living in a foreign country in the last moments of your life? Most people want to die peacefully at home so this is quite a drastic move on your part.

As for being charged and going to prison for bringing the drugs into a country where they're illegal, I on't believe that there have been any cases of imprisonment for this one. Do you know of any? A couple people have gotten charged and been given fines and probation but I think usually what happens is the authorities will just confiscate it. All this assuming of course that you're carrying only enough for"one time use "

It feels a bit strange but Spanish is my first language so not that strange, I guess. In a way, I guess it feels better to take such a drastic decision in a place far away from home because I know my family would not approve of my decision and would have me suffering forever because they don't know what it's like in first person. So I feel free here.

I don't know of cases of people going to jail, it might be one of those law situations where they are not usually enforced. But I guess I didn't look too much into it because my plan was to die in the Amazon after having a time for myself reading books and watching movies and series and listening to music and visiting around the Amazon and the forests and everything.

As you might have guessed, I wouldn't be taking this decision if I didn't have my chronic pain condition, so I guess I wanted a trip for myself to really enjoy life a last time and do whatever I want to do given I have the means, before I die. Nothing crazy, though. Just as I said, movies, books, series, music, and tourism. So that was my plan all along.