Venting got bullied out of a hobby and I have nothing to live for anymore.

[octopusinu]

It sounds real stupid to be sad over a hobby but it was genuinely the only thing that is even remotely enjoyable to do in life anymore. I haven't had contact with friends and families for 3+ years and the only reason I still go to college anymore was to please my parents. And to top it off, work is unbearable. I worked on a project that was very personal and held very dear to me for 1+ years all on my own, all while being constantly ill(body and head aches, nosebleeds that don't stop, throwing up, very bad hallucinations of trauma that made me freeze up) only to have it snuffed out within a day of posting it to the public. I suffered through all the real life burden and loneliness simply because I just liked the hobby that much and creating stuff has become an outlet of comfort since I've been doing it since middle school.
I don't want to go into detail of what happened though I doubt anyone on this forum even knows the hobby, but I tried my best to deescalate the situation and talk to the artist but they just kept on accusing me(despite me presenting dated evidence and everything) and dismissing everything and tried to shut me off with "compensation money" when all I ask is to resolve it calmly. Their way of resolving is to make me admit to do something I never did. The truth is whoever has a bigger platform and has more "fans" is the one who wins in altercations like this so I rightfully got bullied off the hobby and deleted my platform.
I have to pretend to be civil and "fine" to online friends that were worried but the truth is I couldn't get out of bed for three days and couldn't eat and can't do anything. I burst into crying without control. I don't want to go suffer another day of school and work. I was planning on ctbing in december but I don't think I want to live past this month anymore. I didn't even want fame or engagement or fans or whatever out of the hobby the only thing I was doing for was to make myself happy. Why would they do this, and after all the drama nothing will happen to them. I'm the only one getting hurt, ill just be forgotten. i hate it so much.

 

[Malaria]

Oh god, I relate to this one so much, this one really hit close to home.

I won't go into detail either because my hobby is also pretty niche, and I would rather not talk about fandom drama because it's too personal and vulnerable for me... but I too have been bullied over hobbies and passions I've had, and have personally had to deal with extremely toxic fans, and it's one of the biggest things that's destroyed my life, possibly even more than the other traumas I've been through. When you don't have that escape, that enjoyable hobby to go to and comfort you when you're feeling down, it feels like you have no purpose in life anymore.

 

[theboy]

I'm sorry that happened to you. There really are some very toxic people. Take care of yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer like that, it's really cruel and unfair what you went through, I find it really awful how some humans just create way more suffering. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Linda]

It's unfortunate, but true, that people with any kind of power often misuse it. Here the guy with more fans has more power than you, and is misusing it. You might have come across the remark by Lord Acton, a British historian of the 19th century that Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord Acton was right.

Is there any way you can salvage some of what you did, and re-use it in a new project?

 

[octopusinu]

It's unfortunate, but true, that people with any kind of power often misuse it. Here the guy with more fans has more power than you, and is misusing it. You might have come across the remark by Lord Acton, a British historian of the 19th century that Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord Acton was right.

Is there any way you can salvage some of what you did, and re-use it in a new project?

thank you, not really and I'm too scared to share anything to the public anymore. But I will do my best to recover and hopefully get back at it, fuck those people