Goodbye

[Ghost2211]

All of you criticizing me for my comments are dead wrong.

Not changing my mind, will continue to tell people to not kill themselves if they're young enough that they can do so much with their lives.

That isn't "dismissive" it's just the truth and someone needs to say it on a suicide forum where someone has written a post saying they're going to kill themselves tomorrow.

I'm not talking down at young people dismissing them as naive/dumb. I wish I was that young again but I'm not. You guys have time to turn the boat around.

OP don't kill yourself. Seriously don't.

Study online and get a GED, then try to get a job and see if it works. Seriously fuck it, just try it and see what happens.

I highly doubt anyone is trying to change your mind, but rather point out that you are being disrespectful and insensitive.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Yeah I am being dismissive because I'm old enough to know that it is stupid to kill yourself when you are so young. You and the OP included by the way. You're only 18 as well, your entire life will change in ways in the next couple of years that you cannot possibly fathom. I know because I'm a decade older than you. If you kill yourself that will be a huge waste and loss as well and I couldn't care less if that offends you. It's the truth and someone needs to tell you that in a blunt manner because it is true.

I don't give a damn if I'm hurting people's feelings writing this. Saving someone who has their whole life ahead of them is well worth it.

I'm not invalidating anyone's experiences, anyone's feelings, I'm not saying that you aren't allowed or that your feelings of suicide are invalid, they are totally valid. What I am saying though is that when you're as young as you and the OP are you guys have the most valuable asset in the entire universe, you have time on your side. Anything can happen at this stage in your life, you're too young to see that but everyone who is my age or older knows this.

"People could easily tell me to stop thinking about suicide and go improve my life"

I'm not telling you or the OP to stop thinking about suicide, or that "you have nothing to be suicidal about at this age." That's not what I'm saying at all.

What I am saying though is your feelings are valid, your bad experiences are valid, your suicidal ideation is valid and I sympathize with it all. However taking the actual step of suicide at this stage so early in your life when anything can happen is simply dumb and not worth it.

I can agree with this until the last sentence. Sure there is a lot I can do with my life, but whether or not I ultimately want to do any of it it up to be. You do not get to decide what is dumb. Part of being pro-choice is acknowledging that there is no set standard for what we should aim for in life. Is it sad that someone is so hurt by life that they want to die? Yes. Are they dumb for not wanting to take advantage of life's opportunities? No, nobody has any obligation to achieve anything in particular in life.

I will not argue further. please leave your advice for OP and move on, don't turn his goodbye post into a thread for your argument.

 

[DontHaveImagination]

Are you really @waterbottleman or someone using his account? Since you've come back, you've been really aggressive. Not the gentle person I remember and missed.

I on the other hand am very impressed at how polite he can remain despite being ganged up on by the entire forum for going against the echo chamber. I don't think there's any harm in posting different perspectives on this. A very important and final decision should be thought out thoroughly and from many different perspectives, and someone with the balls to post different perspectives in a place where the response to that is like what is seen here is useful to have around. If you don't consider the perspective useful, it takes very little mental effort to ignore it.

 

[muffin222]

All of you criticizing me for my comments are dead wrong.

Not changing my mind, will continue to tell people to not kill themselves if they're young enough that they can do so much with their lives.

That isn't "dismissive" it's just the truth and someone needs to say it on a suicide forum where someone has written a post saying they're going to kill themselves tomorrow.

I'm not talking down at young people dismissing them as naive/dumb. I wish I was that young again but I'm not. You guys have time to turn the boat around.

OP don't kill yourself. Seriously don't.

Study online and get a GED, then try to get a job and see if it works. Seriously fuck it, just try it and see what happens.

That's your prerogative, but just know that you'll likely end up getting banned soon enough if you persist in posting these types of comments.


To OP- I'm sorry life has brought you to the point where you feel there's no other way. If you still hold some glimmer of hope for your future, I do hope you'll consider holding out and pressing forward. But, if you don't and you believe that this is the best choice for your situation, then I wish you nothing but peace and tranquility with your transition to the other side <3

 

[Ulisses]

may you find your peace.

 

[muffin222]

I on the other hand am very impressed at how polite he can remain despite being ganged up on by the entire forum for going against the echo chamber. I don't think there's any harm in posting different perspectives on this. A very important and final decision should be thought out thoroughly and from many different perspectives, and someone with the balls to post different perspectives in a place where the response to that is like what is seen here is useful to have around. If you don't consider the perspective useful, it takes very little mental effort to ignore it.

I, too, see the value in presenting different perspectives on this critical decision, but flat out TELLING people what to do is counterproductive, in my opinion

 

[Alec]

I wish for you no pain and I'm with you. I'm thinking about you.

 

[EndlessNameless]

All of you criticizing me for my comments are dead wrong.

Not changing my mind, will continue to tell people to not kill themselves if they're young enough that they can do so much with their lives.

That isn't "dismissive" it's just the truth and someone needs to say it on a suicide forum where someone has written a post saying they're going to kill themselves tomorrow.

I'm not talking down at young people dismissing them as naive/dumb. I wish I was that young again but I'm not. You guys have time to turn the boat around.

OP don't kill yourself. Seriously don't.

Study online and get a GED, then try to get a job and see if it works. Seriously fuck it, just try it and see what happens.

I understand your point of view. However, my surroundings prevents me to do anything good. I can't focus on anything, the last couple of years were all spent doing nothing because of this. My future, if there's any, is to apply to get a check for my mental disorders, which is the equivalent of 300$. I'm destined to live in a shithole such as the one I am right now. I lived like I wanted to. I had good things happening to me too, sometimes. But now is time to go.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I on the other hand am very impressed at how polite he can remain despite being ganged up on by the entire forum for going against the echo chamber. I don't think there's any harm in posting different perspectives on this. A very important and final decision should be thought out thoroughly and from many different perspectives, and someone with the balls to post different perspectives in a place where the response to that is like what is seen here is useful to have around. If you don't consider the perspective useful, it takes very little mental effort to ignore it.

Please read the quote from a mod that I put in one of my responses to @waterbottleman. What he's doing results in warnings and bans. If you disagree, take it up with the mods and site owners. He's not posting a different perspective, he's flat-out saying don't, trying to override the OP's right to choose, and negating that choice because of age. The site rules limit the age to 18 and older, not the age @waterbottleman approves of.

And I don't like going against @waterbottleman, he's always been one of my favorite members. But I will stand up for anyone, even someone I don't like or don't know, when they're being discriminated against and/or harassed.

 

[Alec]

All of you criticizing me for my comments are dead wrong.

Not changing my mind, will continue to tell people to not kill themselves if they're young enough that they can do so much with their lives.

That isn't "dismissive" it's just the truth and someone needs to say it on a suicide forum where someone has written a post saying they're going to kill themselves tomorrow.

I'm not talking down at young people dismissing them as naive/dumb. I wish I was that young again but I'm not. You guys have time to turn the boat around.

OP don't kill yourself. Seriously don't.

Study online and get a GED, then try to get a job and see if it works. Seriously fuck it, just try it and see what happens.

You say you are not dismissing young people problems and situations but then immediately proceed to tell them what they should do and shouldn't do because YOUR opinion on their situation is different. That IS dismissing their view of the situation. You are not them, you are not in that situation. And even if FOR YOU in that same situation you would feel differently about things that DOESNT mean the other person feels or should feel about the situation the same way you would. They are not you and you are not them.
To the rest of people I suggest you report these comments as I believe they go against the rules. If I remember right it's against the rules to treat someone like their problems aren't important/big enough. I'm going to report.
To the OP, I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this.

 

[almostnohopeleft.]

I on the other hand am very impressed at how polite he can remain despite being ganged up on by the entire forum for going against the echo chamber. I don't think there's any harm in posting different perspectives on this. A very important and final decision should be thought out thoroughly and from many different perspectives, and someone with the balls to post different perspectives in a place where the response to that is like what is seen here is useful to have around. If you don't consider the perspective useful, it takes very little mental effort to ignore it.

Same- I'm conflicted because the willingness of everyone to go alone with somebody saying they are was a little odd and striking to me at first, but then I realized- the people who are doing this, are the real deal. They are thoughtful, intelligent, realistic people. Who aren't whiny or looking for attention or whatnot. They are final in their decision, and it seems like they wouldn't be here if they weren't.

On the other hand, there is something a little off about blinding saying good luck! and goodbye! like this is a normal thing... so in some way I see watermelon dude as a bit of a voice of reason...I mean...this shit is pretty weird ngl. In this specific situation, however, I think there is a least a few steps this dude could take before perhaps offing him/herself. But idk. Like it seems like the curve of growth would be pretty steep. My situation, for example, is like I've done my best and I even still see a way out but realistically with my social circles and family it's never gonna happen. And I'm still being pretty optimistic. For me, therapy wouldn't work. My life needs major overhaul and I'm steps away from that even being recognized. Plus everyones going to college like now and I have nothing to shield me against that stress and anxiety and FOMO. But even I know I'm probably not doing my best, which is why I feel stressed rn.

 

[Alec]

I understand your point of view. However, my surroundings prevents me to do anything good. I can't focus on anything, the last couple of years were all spent doing nothing because of this. My future, if there's any, is to apply to get a check for my mental disorders, which is the equivalent of 300$. I'm destined to live in a shithole such as the one I am right now. I lived like I wanted to. I had good things happening to me too, sometimes. But now is time to go.

I wish I could hug you right now

 

[muffin222]

On the other hand, there is something a little off about blinding saying good luck! and goodbye! like this is a normal thing... so in some way I see watermelon dude as a bit of a voice of reason...I mean...this shit is pretty weird ngl.

It is a normal thing on this forum... it's a suicide forum

 

[Anonymoussn]

All of you criticizing me for my comments are dead wrong.

Not changing my mind, will continue to tell people to not kill themselves if they're young enough that they can do so much with their lives.

That isn't "dismissive" it's just the truth and someone needs to say it on a suicide forum where someone has written a post saying they're going to kill themselves tomorrow.

I'm not talking down at young people dismissing them as naive/dumb. I wish I was that young again but I'm not. You guys have time to turn the boat around.

OP don't kill yourself. Seriously don't.

Study online and get a GED, then try to get a job and see if it works. Seriously fuck it, just try it and see what happens.

OP has stated that they're adopted, have a mental illness, and have suffered years of bullying.

It seems very clear to me that their problems go beyond just not having a qualification.

Sure, give OP encouragement that they have options and hope. But don't negate their right to make their own decision. Their concerns are still valid regardless of their age. And many of the things mentioned are things that may never go away. They have as much right to be on this forum, and to make their own decision as you do.

 

[almostnohopeleft.]

yeah, I'm just saying how from a healthy, objective point of view, that would be the natural reaction.

It is a normal thing on this forum... it's a suicide forum

 

[AlreadyGone]

Yeah and?

What's your point?

Some people try and fail, other people try and succeed. Just because you may fail when trying that doesn't make trying not worth it.

He's only 21 and could easily improve his situation by getting a GED which would make it a lot easier to get a job. He explicitly said a big reason for his suicide is his lack of a high school diploma which is a problem that he can easily fix and will lose literally nothing for trying to fix it.

It's not like by trying to get a GED there's a risk involved and he will end up worse off if he fails. There is literally no risk to trying.

Yeah TRY IT, what does he have to lose if he tries?

No joke, the mods are gonna ban you if you keep this up.

 

[muffin222]

yeah, I'm just saying how from a healthy, objective point of view, that would be the natural reaction.

I agree that under normal circumstances, most people would react like waterbottleman. As for whether it's truly objective, I digress. I think the vast majority of the "normal" responses to suicide are imprinted by society and its moralistic viewpoints on death. We're programmed by society to believe that life is always worth living for all people under all circumstances, and if you don't agree then there's something horribly wrong with you, you're mentally incapable of forming your own conclusions, and you need to be rescued from yourself. I hope I don't sound too argumentative here- I just have a lot of thoughts on this topic. But, I don't want to overtake OP's thread, so I'll bow out of the discussion here. Best of luck to OP with whatever he/she decides to do in the end <3

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Same- I'm conflicted because the willingness of everyone to go alone with somebody saying they are was a little odd and striking to me at first, but then I realized- the people who are doing this, are the real deal. They are thoughtful, intelligent, realistic people. Who aren't whiny or looking for attention or whatnot. They are final in their decision, and it seems like they wouldn't be here if they weren't.

On the other hand, there is something a little off about blinding saying good luck! and goodbye! like this is a normal thing... so in some way I see watermelon dude as a bit of a voice of reason...I mean...this shit is pretty weird ngl. In this specific situation, however, I think there is a least a few steps this dude could take before perhaps offing him/herself. But idk. Like it seems like the curve of growth would be pretty steep. My situation, for example, is like I've done my best and I even still see a way out but realistically with my social circles and family it's never gonna happen. And I'm still being pretty optimistic. For me, therapy wouldn't work. My life needs major overhaul and I'm steps away from that even being recognized. Plus everyones going to college like now and I have nothing to shield me against that stress and anxiety and FOMO. But even I know I'm probably not doing my best, which is why I feel stressed rn.

yeah, I'm just saying how from a healthy, objective point of view, that would be the natural reaction.

It's perfectly okay to ask someone if they've thought it through and to offer alternative solutions. It's not okay to say DON'T or to override them because of their age.

And yes, it can feel odd when a brand new member just drops a goodbye. It happens.

 

[Anonymoussn]

What if you do succeed, what if you do get a GED and you do get a job? What if this is just the beginning of your life becoming better? That isn't an empty platitude to make you feel good it's a real possibility for you. Maybe if you succeed at getting a GED and a job you'll find confidence in yourself.

Isn't this true of anyone on this forum who is here due to depression or mental health issues, rather than something with a definitive life sentence like a health issue with no cure? Anyone under 30 has the potential to make a positive change in their life like getting a qualification. I'm sure there are tonnes of people like that on this forum. And I'm sure just like OP they aren't taking this lightly, and can make their own decision as to what their prospects are.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i hope you have a peaceful journey.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

I hope you find peace

 

[caligula]

Yeah I am being dismissive because I'm old enough to know that it is stupid to kill yourself when you are so young. You and the OP included by the way. You're only 18 as well, your entire life will change in ways in the next couple of years that you cannot possibly fathom. I know because I'm a decade older than you. If you kill yourself that will be a huge waste and loss as well and I couldn't care less if that offends you. It's the truth and someone needs to tell you that in a blunt manner because it is true.

I don't give a damn if I'm hurting people's feelings writing this. Saving someone who has their whole life ahead of them is well worth it.

I'm not invalidating anyone's experiences, anyone's feelings, I'm not saying that you aren't allowed or that your feelings of suicide are invalid, they are totally valid. What I am saying though is that when you're as young as you and the OP are you guys have the most valuable asset in the entire universe, you have time on your side. Anything can happen at this stage in your life, you're too young to see that but everyone who is my age or older knows this.

"People could easily tell me to stop thinking about suicide and go improve my life"

I'm not telling you or the OP to stop thinking about suicide, or that "you have nothing to be suicidal about at this age." That's not what I'm saying at all.

What I am saying though is your feelings are valid, your bad experiences are valid, your suicidal ideation is valid and I sympathize with it all. However taking the actual step of suicide at this stage so early in your life when anything can happen is simply dumb and not worth it.

a direct quote from the rules and info page. "Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, a pro-choice suicide discussion forum. We support your right to live, as well as your right to end your life. No one should force you to do things you don't wish to do."

 

[woxihuanni]

@EndlessNameless, I wish you peace whatever you decide to do.

Mods, apparently we need a middle finger emoji and an eject button and maybe a brain donor for those in need.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I had a horrible life in general.
I was adopted after birth because both of my parents were mentally ill, and I, myself, have inerithed a mental illness.
At school, I was treated like dirt, and punched and laughed at every day for four years. At the age of seventeen, I started to react, I was angry, and I was kicked out of school. Ever since, life became even worse. I couldn't find a job because of no high school degree. My mental illness became worse. A person I cared for died recently. My adoptive dad himself became ill when he had a stroke, and is now in terrible conditions and about to die. I have attempted suicide in many occasions, but always failed. However, I found a way now. I made an attempt an hour ago, and it worked, I was about to pass out, and I was so happy. I'm relieved now. I'm tired and ready to go. Tomorrow is the day. Thank you for reading, goodbye.

Of course, it hurts when I see such a young person doing ctb.
But I myself have enough experience with the torments that can be experienced up to 21.
The principle of hope for better years is theoretically justified, but it is simply a fact that at some point the mind cannot or will no longer believe in it.
I really know what I am talking about.

The thought of living for more years and experiencing the daily, constant torments is unbearable.

When this point is reached, even knowing that everything will be fine in 3 years may not prevent the ctb. It is just unbearable.

I will try to prevent any ctb that is planned out of an affect because of lovesickness, for example.

But several years with psychological problems or terror are always accepted reasons for me, which I do not question.

Even if someone is only 18 years old, he may have had the toughest terror for 10 years

 

[whywere]

Peace and love be with you friend. You are part of all of us on this site and I wish you love, peace and hope you find true happiness. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers forever.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

I had a horrible life in general.
I was adopted after birth because both of my parents were mentally ill, and I, myself, have inerithed a mental illness.
At school, I was treated like dirt, and punched and laughed at every day for four years. At the age of seventeen, I started to react, I was angry, and I was kicked out of school. Ever since, life became even worse. I couldn't find a job because of no high school degree. My mental illness became worse. A person I cared for died recently. My adoptive dad himself became ill when he had a stroke, and is now in terrible conditions and about to die. I have attempted suicide in many occasions, but always failed. However, I found a way now. I made an attempt an hour ago, and it worked, I was about to pass out, and I was so happy. I'm relieved now. I'm tired and ready to go. Tomorrow is the day. Thank you for reading, goodbye.

I am happy for you and for you that you have found your way to put an end to your torments.

A path that enables you to have a short and pleasant journey.
I would like more time to get to know you, but I can't be selfish now.

I wish you a lot of peace and quiet on the other side. Reserve me a good seat at the bar, I'll be there soon too.

Goodbye my friend

 

[WFJ74]

I'm assuming a mod stepped in and deleted the posts but as much as I'd love to save a life, all we know is what OP posted and it sounded horrible. And it could be so much deeper and painful than what we know. I understand trying to encourage someone not to leave, I've received a lot myself. But only OP can know the pain they've suffered and have to try to live with. If the only choice they feel they have is to leave this world to be at peace we should support it without imposing our wills on them. Sorry I'm new here so if that's not an appropriate thing to say please tell me.

 

[Ghost2211]

I didn't mean to take over your thread.

I'm not dismissing anything you've experienced in life and I'm sorry you were bullied growing up, I'm sorry about the person close to you dying and your adoptive father being ill. That's rough and I totally get why you want to end your life. I'm not judging you at all for feeling hopeless. I would too if I were in your position.

But I really really think you should at least try to get a GED and then a job.

What if you do succeed, what if you do get a GED and you do get a job? What if this is just the beginning of your life becoming better? That isn't an empty platitude to make you feel good it's a real possibility for you. Maybe if you succeed at getting a GED and a job you'll find confidence in yourself.

Any of this can happen which is why I'm so adamant in telling you this (I'm aggressive and come off as a dick because I care and don't want you throw your life away). My statements about your age are not about looking down on you, it's about trying to lift you up and see that there is hope for you. There really is, that isn't a BS platitude it's the truth. You may not see it and I totally get that because I don't see any light left in my life either so I know the feeling of utter darkness.

But really, you can do it. You can get a GED, you can get a job, things can be better and you have all the time in the world to do it.

I may get banned for my comments in your thread and I'm okay with that. If you don't kill yourself tomorrow I consider that a mission accomplished for you.

" I can't focus on anything"

Let me tell you a story.

I got bad grades in high school, I wasn't good at math, I failed Algebra 2 in high school. However once I graduated high school I wanted to be better at math. I began by dedicating myself to study Algebra for 1 hour every single night. I did this for 30 days in a row and I taught myself Algebra and mastered it which I thought was impossible before I tried. In just 30 days I did something that I thought I couldn't possibly do by only spending 1 hour of my time a day. You can do this too, I'm not a super human I'm just a guy just like you.

I ended up transferring to a really good college and earning a degree in.......Mathematics. A guy who could barely do algebra in high school and got bad grades ended up graduating with a good GPA at a good college with a degree in math. That isn't an easy feat and I never would have even imagined that I could do that, yet guess what I did do it. It is possible to achieve things that you can't see yourself doing. This all starting with the simple decision I had to teach myself algebra for 1 hour for 30 days.

You can do the same thing, you just don't believe in yourself. But you can do it with baby steps. I did it and I was a dumb kid with bad grades.

Yes I am here, yes I am depressed. But the point is things can change and you can do things that you don't believe you can.

Just because that didn't fix my life doesn't mean it won't for you.

I also had a hard time focusing, which is why you start with baby steps. Is 1 hour too long? Fine, then try 30 minutes or 15. Your focus isn't so bad that you're incapable of doing anything. The fact that you read these long posts of mine proves you have some ability to focus.

Your focus may be bad now, but you can improve it with baby steps. Start with whatever you can do and don't feel guilty about it if it is only for a few minutes. Anything is better than none at all. Trying is better than not trying at all, and don't worry about what other people are doing.

" My future, if there's any "

The fact that you say "if" shows that you do have some hope in you. Even if it's super small and the darkness is enveloping you, there is a sliver of hope. I say you go for it, as I said what do you have to lose?

You said you can't focus and you haven't done anything for a few years. Well okay, make a decision to start trying tomorrow and even if trying is only 15 minutes of reading that is still an improvement over what you've done in the past and you can be proud of that.

The fact that you've done nothing at all for the past few years actually shows that just by doing a little bit you may see a big improvement which will give you hope, confidence, and motivation to do more.

Improvement starts in baby steps and you'd be surprised how fast you can improve with baby steps.

You can do this, you can get your GED and get a job. You aren't stuck getting $300 disability checks for the rest of your life.

Baby steps are the key, you have nothing to lose.

I don't care what anyone else is even saying here, I'm not paying attention to them. I care about you and you getting out of this which I believe you can if you just take baby steps.

" I had good things happening to me too, sometimes. "

So why can't more good things happen in the future?

What if there is a possibility of you feeling better about yourself and your life? What if you can make a big improvement in your life, confidence, motivation, overall satisfaction by making baby step improvements?

That is well worth giving a shot.

I'm going to stop posting in this thread now because I don't want to take it over. I hope you're still alive after tomorrow and I hope you listen to what I have to say and consider doing it. Baby steps, fuck it YOLO just try it.

Dude, seriously, what world do you live in that a GED gives you a good or even decent enough job? The world is really competitive nowadays, and even more do due to Covid. Stop feeding people false dreams that only lead to a mediocre existence.

 

[WFJ74]

I understand your point of view. However, my surroundings prevents me to do anything good. I can't focus on anything, the last couple of years were all spent doing nothing because of this. My future, if there's any, is to apply to get a check for my mental disorders, which is the equivalent of 300$. I'm destined to live in a shithole such as the one I am right now. I lived like I wanted to. I had good things happening to me too, sometimes. But now is time to go.

I'm willing to help some with the costs if that would help. Maybe some others here would be too I don't mean to speak for them. Maybe a GoFundMe? We all support whatever decision you make as what's best for you.

 

[crybaby]

I hope you can find peace