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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
This has come sooner than I wanted. I had travelled down to my destination today to stay in a hotel for five days to relax by myself however my plans been kinda suspected/uncovered and people are asking where I am and it's only a matter of time before the police are called so I am going to have to rush it for tonight. I will literally begin walking to the spot the moment I post this so I unfortunately won't be replying or getting in touch with any of you. I am so grateful for all of you and wish you all the best for the future whatever it has in store for you. Peace x
I'm grateful for your posts. You are a very special person.
 
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forgotten15

forgotten15

Specialist
Aug 24, 2021
332
I wish you peace and freedom from all this lifes' pain.
 
VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
I hope you found the peace you were searching for. Hopefully your love poem reached your ex and she at least felt something from it. I'm glad you had some form of happiness.
 
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cambrai33

cambrai33

Traveller
Nov 3, 2021
386
I see you logged in mate, I hope things are ok for you
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
are you okay @dumbbrain ?
 
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blueclover_.

blueclover_.

Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
Oct 11, 2021
668
Safe travels. I hope you find peace.
 
erdbeeren

erdbeeren

Student
Oct 13, 2021
100
I hope you have the peace you've longed for.
 
L

Laowaiboss

Member
Nov 26, 2021
35
Best of wishes to you, death is only the beginning of the journey.
 
...

...

crippled with grief
Nov 8, 2021
335
have been trying to resist posting on here because i know the police have been monitoring my phone activity and aware of my presence here. it would be probably best if i didnt but i am desperate to talk to you guys. i tried creating different accounts but they were rejected.

on monday when i went to my ctb spot i was met by police who were anticipating me. they most likely got tipped off by a lurker on this site. im now in a psychiatric ward. technically i am here "voluntarily" but it was that or being sectioned. likewise in the uk i have the "right" to discharge myself as an informal patient but they will usually just section you if they don't think you should leave. took me about 24 hours to go from custody to the ward and now been here since tuesday night.

it's living hell. after spending a lot of time speaking with people on here who are intelligent when it comes to these things, its really demotivating having to now speak to these fucking idiots.

im also in a really rough part of town so most of the other inpatients arent suicidal per se but are long-termers who have been shoved in here because they aren't all there and they can't survive outside without help. it means there's not really anyone in a similar situation as to me.

this also hasnt prompted a reaction from anyone other than the parents which makes me feel very fucking valued...

tldr: not dead, in a psych ward, feel worse, fucked off at everyone.
also, thank you for all the kind words <3 the support makes the lack of the same thing from people irl slightly less painful
 
Last edited:
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Kobusu

Kobusu

Writer
Oct 18, 2021
268
have been trying to resist posting on here because i know the police have been monitoring my phone activity and aware of my presence here. it would be probably best if i didnt but i am desperate to talk to you guys. i tried creating different accounts but they were rejected.

on monday when i went to my ctb spot i was met by police who were anticipating me. they most likely got tipped off by a lurker on this site. im now in a psychiatric ward. technically i am here "voluntarily" but it was that or being sectioned. likewise in the uk i have the "right" to discharge myself as an informal patient but they will usually just section you if they don't think you should leave. took me about 24 hours to go from custody to the ward and now been here since tuesday night.

it's living hell. after spending a lot of time speaking with people on here who are intelligent when it comes to these things, its really demotivating having to now speak to these fucking idiots.

im also in a really rough part of town so most of the other inpatients arent suicidal per se but are long-termers who have been shoved in here because they aren't all there and they can't survive outside without help. it means there's not really anyone in a similar situation as to me.

this also hasnt prompted a reaction from anyone other than the parents which makes me feel very fucking valued...

tldr: not dead, in a psych ward, feel worse, fucked off at everyone.
Oh fuck they threw you in a Ward. I wish you luck, at least over there you guys get your phones! I'm disheartened that you got thrown into such a shit place, I know how hard it is. I'm sorry you weren't able to find your peace.
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
they most likely got tipped off by a lurker on this site.
but how? did you mention your suicide location in one of your posts?

this also hasnt prompted a reaction from anyone other than the parents which makes me feel very fucking valued...
... really sorry.
 
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VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
ye. beachy head
I hope you recover from this incident. I am very confused why you mentioned the location, but we live and we learn.

Take care.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
I'm so sorry to hear that you've ended up being locked up, instead of being at peace. Try to let this one go. For now. You're only gonna stress yourself out more. You're goal is to get out of that place and in order to do that you need to try to get yourself together, calm yourself down and play along. Be smart about it, please.
And I'm sorry things didn't work out with your love…..
 
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