Goodbye Thread

[PrettyKitty]

Hi I've posted my struggles and thoughts all over this website many times before and even created a goodbye thread where I ended up failing but I'm finally ready to try again this time I will do everything to make sure it works I'm going to drink couple beers to think less and than I will hang myself.
Here's my plan by time (should go to plan unless somehow a wellness check happens)

9:00 pm drink ciders/beer
9:30 pm take a pill (anti psychotic)
10:00 pm write suicide notes and letters
10:20 pm set up the rope and blades (blades to slit throat last resort)
10:30 pm barricade door incase of parents or police
11:00 pm call my friend and tell them I love them
11:10 pm Delete all search history and put on my playlist than hang myself

A bit about me if anybody even cares (reasons why I'm going to kill myself)

My name is Angel/Nikita and I'm 18 years old
I love pink and kittens.
I struggle with BPD, Social Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, Lyme disease and more
My life since I was 12 has gone down hill it started with my dads abuse and I started drinking/cutting to cope. When I was around 14 I met a guy named Jordan he was a pedo and a psychopath who groomed me into a relationship with him, my friends and family didn't approve (no shit) he would make me do sexual things for him or he would threaten to kill myself he would threaten to kill myself every time I tried to leave him. After I finally broke up with him after 2 years of dating police got involved and I couldn't live anymore because of the flashbacks and he made me feel like If I'm not with him I deserve to die this was the first time I was sent to the mental hospital. After I got out I went missing and ran away from home because my dads abuse was getting worse and I was scared they would send me back to that hospital. When I turned 16 I realized I was obessed with suicide almost everyday I would cut and I would do reckless things like drink or attempt to kill myself a lot, I've been to a mental hospital 5 times now. I'm so tired I'm 18 now 18 years to long this will be my last post I promise that I will make sure it works.

FOR MOD:
please get rid of my account after 72 hours of not responding. Thank you <3

 

[Vizzy]

Hi I've posted my struggles and thoughts all over this website many times before and even created a goodbye thread where I ended up failing but I'm finally ready to try again this time I will do everything to make sure it works I'm going to drink couple beers to think less and than I will hang myself.
Here's my plan by time (should go to plan unless somehow a wellness check happens)

9:00 pm drink ciders/beer
9:30 pm take a pill (anti psychotic)
10:00 pm write suicide notes and letters
10:20 pm set up the rope and blades (blades to slit throat last resort)
10:30 pm barricade door incase of parents or police
11:00 pm call my friend and tell them I love them
11:10 pm Delete all search history and put on my playlist than hang myself

A bit about me if anybody even cares (reasons why I'm going to kill myself)

My name is Angel/Nikita and I'm 18 years old
I love pink and kittens.
I struggle with BPD, Social Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, Lyme disease and more
My life since I was 12 has gone down hill it started with my dads abuse and I started drinking/cutting to cope. When I was around 14 I met a guy named Jordan he was a pedo and a psychopath who groomed me into a relationship with him, my friends and family didn't approve (no shit) he would make me do sexual things for him or he would threaten to kill myself he would threaten to kill myself every time I tried to leave him. After I finally broke up with him after 2 years of dating police got involved and I couldn't live anymore because of the flashbacks and he made me feel like If I'm not with him I deserve to die this was the first time I was sent to the mental hospital. After I got out I went missing and ran away from home because my dads abuse was getting worse and I was scared they would send me back to that hospital. When I turned 16 I realized I was obessed with suicide almost everyday I would cut and I would do reckless things like drink or attempt to kill myself a lot, I've been to a mental hospital 5 times now. I'm so tired I'm 18 now 18 years to long this will be my last post I promise that I will make sure it works.

FOR MOD:
please get rid of my account after 72 hours of not responding. Thank you <3

Sorry you have to go through all these cruelty in life, hope you get your peace and successful ctb

Love and respect!

 

[cherrysquick]

i'm so incredibly sorry for everything you went through , no one deserves the abuse you had to endure, especially at such young age :( i hope you find peace and everything goes smooth, i'll be thinking about you

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry for everything you have been through. I wish you peace from this horrible world.

 

[Pengu]

Hey Niki, even though we didn't have a very good friendship with each other, I think about u every time i log onto this site. Ur a really beautiful and kind soul and also very fun to chat with. I hope u find peace and happiness in whatever choice u make. If U ever want someone to listen to you i will always be there for u. good luck dear

 

[Lilythefenfen]

I'm sorry for your pain. May your passing be peaceful and your afterlife be quiet and warm. May you find whatever it is you're looking for.

 

[dimstar]

I know you've had alot of struggles. It's not fair and I'm sad to see you go but I hope things peacefully for you. A final rest away from all the cruelty of the world. Will be thinking of you.

 

[SVEN]

Will be thinking of you, Angel. Wishing you an easy exit, sweet sleep with only comfortable dreams, weary wee friend.

 

[Loveless]

The world has been cruel to you I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, nobody should have to experience that. I hope you find the peace that you deserve, you deserved more than you were given I'm sorry. <3

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

Wishing you a peaceful & successful journey to whatever comes next!

 

[Letgo]

I am sorry about your pain and all you have been through. I wish you peace and rest. Will be thinking of you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for all that you went through. I hope you are able to find peace.

 

[Shivali]

 

[StolenLife]

What you went through is horrible, I'm so sorry. I wish that you are able to find your peace painlessly.

 

[Exact Change]

I'm so very sorry for all you've had to endure

 

[pompompurin]

Safe travels, godspeed.

 

[Das Nichts]

I hope you succeed in your plans and that you will find your peace.

 

[AsAboveSoBelow]

I'm late to readin this, but I want you to (somehow) know that I feel for you :(
I'm so sorry that you've struggled so much and have been subjected to that amount of pain at such a young age. I wish you peace... thinking of you

 

[Linda]

I hope you find peace at last.

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find freedom from all suffering.

 

[charlotte_]

It's sad seeing that you've tried to improve your situation, but that didn't work out. I guess that's just how life it. I'm sorry you've suffered so much. Hopefully you will find the peace and freedom you searched.

 

[juxtajuno]

i hope you find peace, goodbye.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Bon voyage - I'm so sorry for what you have endured but I wish you the best

 

[Valky]

Ah, I remember you. Trying to starve yourself or smth.

Sorry to hear that your last recovery episode didn't last all too long.
I know that you never pulled through quite a few attempts after starting goodbye threats.
Don't pressure yourself, whatever decision you make, it is nothing to be ashamed of.

wishing you all the best

 

[PrettyKitty]

Hello I just wanted to update this plans didn't go to plans and I was sent to my father's house I'm hoping. to do it tonight. I feel upset my plans were changed but I'm going to make sure nobody stops me today I'm also gonna tryan and convince my father to take me to a movie today so I can do one last fun thing before I die.
Thanks for all the caring comments.

 

[SVEN]

Be kind to yourself, Angel, and have sweet thoughts.

 

[dimstar]

We're all here for you as know. When things are bad or sorta okay. Noone will stop you but if you ever need to talk theres many ears to listen. I'm sorry how rough the road has been for you. Your very a kind and brave person. Wishing you the best

 

[PrettyKitty]

Update 3 online friends i talked to have somehow found my address and called the police I dont know how but now I have eyes on me. How do I go through with my plan now (still at home) just wellness checks.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Update 3 online friends i talked to have somehow found my address and called the police I dont know how but now I have eyes on me. How do I go through with my plan now (still at home) just wellness checks.

#1. Make sure you have all your supplies well hidden
#2. You may have to wait until the wellness checks end.
#3. Lie, Lie, Lie...

Sorry this happened to you. You will be on their radar for awhile. I wish I had better advice to offer.

 

[SILENT THINKER]

Update 3 online friends i talked to have somehow found my address and called the police I dont know how but now I have eyes on me. How do I go through with my plan now (still at home) just wellness checks.

Please don't commit suicide I am not one of your friends but things will be good for you soon don't try anymore to commit suicide it's useless.
You may not believe In god but still this is not an appropriate way to go out.
Please try to understand that your life is precious even if I don't know you I am sure your life is worth more than you just killing yourself so please refrain from taking any actions like this.
I know you don't really trust therapy so you can tell me about any problems you want here is my insta id:- p4k_g4m1ng
and I'll try to solve it as best as I can or at least I can listen to your problems.