Goodbye thread / SN and LSD

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

This is most likely going to be my last day alive. Im at work right now and as soon as I get home tonight, im going start the process. I will use my SN. The drugs that I will be taking prior are 120mg propranalol and 200ug of LSD. Unfortunately I dont have an antiemetic but whatever. I wont eat anything today. Im going to take the LSD and propranolol at the same time and while waiting for it to kick in, ill prepare 25g of my SN in 2 cups and set them on my nightstand. When I start tripping and my SI is gone, and it feels like the right time,ill drink my SN and lay on my right side till I pass out and die (psychedelics pretty much completely remove my SI when im tripping and make me really suicidal). I might text my ex and try to have a conversation about anything just so she can be the last person I talk to. Ill obviously drink my second cup if I vomit too much. Today really just seems right and I feel ready. Still pretty nervous but thats what the acids for I guess. I will update as I complete the steps when Im and home and begin. I will be doing this while my mom is home so there is a chance that I will be found and survive. Because thats a possibility, I ask that my account not be banned until I havent come back here for a week. I will also update if I chicken out. The suffering might finally be done tonight.

 

[Ruma]

Goodbye & Goodluck! Wishing you a swift and peaceful passing x

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope you find the freedom you search for.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Best of luck, have a peaceful journey!

 

[DreamEnd]

sn and lsd? Thats a nice combination. I hope it works for you. Best wishes

 

[Tulip<3]

I saw your last post about wanting to try this. I'm so sorry life has got you to this point, I hope you find peace

And if you change your mind, decide it's not the right time etc, that is completely okay and we'll be here for you.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

sn and lsd? Thats a nice combination. I hope it works for you. Best wishes

Yep. Very worst case scenario I feel great tripping and dont drink my SN so very low stakes imo

I saw your last post about wanting to try this. I'm so sorry life has got you to this point, I hope you find peace

And if you change your mind, decide it's not the right time etc, that is completely okay and we'll be here for you.

Thank you for the kindness!

Best of luck, have a peaceful journey!

Thank you!

I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope you find the freedom you search for.

Thank you!

Goodbye & Goodluck! Wishing you a swift and peaceful passing x

Thank you!

 

[90starve]

i wish you the best tonight. have a peaceful passing <3

 

[Maeve]

I really hope u don't have a bad trip i think that could be horrible especially with sn that already is bad 4 anxiety

Yep. Very worst case scenario I feel great tripping and dont drink my SN so very low stakes imo

I wish you all the best il be thinking about u <3

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

I really hope u don't have a bad trip i think that could be horrible especially with sn that already is bad 4 anxiety

I wish you all the best il be thinking about u <3

I imagine it will be an horrifying trip which will just dampen my SI even further or ill be completely at peace with it and calm. I did shrooms a few weeks ago and felt like I could have done it with no anxiety if it was next to me.

I really hope u don't have a bad trip i think that could be horrible especially with sn that already is bad 4 anxiety

I wish you all the best il be thinking about u <3

Either way it wont matter once I pass out. Thank you for the kind message.

 

[Sonny77]

I'm sorry that you've come to the point of taking your own life.
I wish you a good trip. On the other hand, since I don't like LSD, please keep me a beer cold.

 

[conarc]

This is most likely going to be my last day alive. Im at work right now and as soon as I get home tonight, im going start the process. I will use my SN. The drugs that I will be taking prior are 120mg propranalol and 200ug of LSD. Unfortunately I dont have an antiemetic but whatever. I wont eat anything today. Im going to take the LSD and propranolol at the same time and while waiting for it to kick in, ill prepare 25g of my SN in 2 cups and set them on my nightstand. When I start tripping and my SI is gone, and it feels like the right time,ill drink my SN and lay on my right side till I pass out and die (psychedelics pretty much completely remove my SI when im tripping and make me really suicidal). I might text my ex and try to have a conversation about anything just so she can be the last person I talk to. Ill obviously drink my second cup if I vomit too much. Today really just seems right and I feel ready. Still pretty nervous but thats what the acids for I guess. I will update as I complete the steps when Im and home and begin. I will be doing this while my mom is home so there is a chance that I will be found and survive. Because thats a possibility, I ask that my account not be banned until I havent come back here for a week. I will also update if I chicken out. The suffering might finally be done tonight.

Not sure what to say. You somehow already expect to be found? This sounds weird.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Not sure what to say. You somehow already expect to be found? This sounds weird.

I dont expect to be found but im aware its a possibility. My house has paper thin walls so im just worried about thrashing around or making loud noises once I pass out.

 

[nicotine_goblin]

Good luck, hopefully whatever you decide to do works out. And that the LSD trip makes it all smoother if you end up going through with sn

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Have a nice trip. I hope u find peace! Good luck!

 

[conarc]

I dont expect to be found but im aware its a possibility. My house has paper thin walls so im just worried about thrashing around or making loud noises once I pass out.

Sure...

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Sure...

Dude fuck you. I dont even know what youre trying to imply. Go be a dick somewhere else.

 

[Cage]

Good luck to you, however your mom being there with you doesn't feel right. It'd suck for her to be traumatized by finding your dead body or something. Maybe you should find a more solitary place to do it?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Good luck to you, however your mom being there with you doesn't feel right. It'd suck for her to be traumatized by finding your dead body or something. Maybe you should find a more solitary place to do it?

I know dude. Its gonna suck. I dont want to take lsd anywhere other than my bedroom. It feels and sounds horrible to say but I really just dont have it in me to care anymore. Im just desperate to die. Atleast I wont be able to feel guilty when im dead.

 

[Amidaa]

Best of luck friend, sorry that live brought you to this point. hope everything will go smootly and have a great journey to peace may you find what you want and the suffering be no more.

 

[sensation86]

I am really sorry life has brought you to this point.
I wish you find the peace you deserve

 

[AnonGermany]

All the best to you and good luck ❤

 

[Cage]

I know dude. Its gonna suck. I dont want to take lsd anywhere other than my bedroom. It feels and sounds horrible to say but I really just dont have it in me to care anymore. Im just desperate to die. Atleast I wont be able to feel guilty when im dead.

There were a couple times when I was younger and on the verge of CTB that I felt the same way, especially towards my family. If anything I thought I could stick it to my parents by doing it. But now I think that creating that sort of distance will also help them to rationalize why I did it instead of fixating on the simple fact that I did it, if that makes sense.

As shitty as this world is, there's a couple people whose livelihoods I still want to protect.

I hope you come around to feeling the same way, but ultimately it's your choice, not mine.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

There were a couple times when I was younger and on the verge of CTB that I felt the same way, especially towards my family. If anything I thought I could stick it to my parents by doing it. But now I think that creating that sort of distance will also help them to rationalize why I did it instead of fixating on the simple fact that I did it, if that makes sense.

As shitty as this world is, there's a couple people whose livelihoods I still want to protect.

I hope you come around to feeling the same way, but ultimately it's your choice, not mine.

Youre right and its a really shitty thing that im doing but I just really cant keep going. My mom is great and I dont want to "stick it to her" or hurt her at all. She knows why I want to kill myself and ive told her that its going to happen. Shes been depressed her whole life. I hope because of that shell understand and although it will hurt her a lot, she might be able to be happy for me that ive escaped my suffering.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Sure...

And this is helpful how?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

And this is helpful how?

I think theyre one of those people that are constantly paranoid about "pro lifers" or something being on here and acting like theyre suicidal for some reason? He couldve looked at my profile, seen ive been active on the site for months, and all of my messages. I dont get it. Theres nothing I or anyone else could possibly have to gain from lying about any of this other than attention I guess.

 

[アホペンギン]

I think theyre one of those people that are constantly paranoid about "pro lifers" or something being on here and acting like theyre suicidal for some reason? He couldve looked at my profile, seen ive been active on the site for months, and all of my messages. I dont get it. Theres nothing I or anyone else could possibly have to gain from lying about any of this other than attention I guess.

That is the same person who believes that I lied about my ctb with SN.. crazy. I don't know what his problem is with me and now I can see with many other people.

Oh, and, I hope you have a smooth transition and best wishes with your plan. Hopefully everything goes well. :)

 

[conarc]

Well, prolifers are everywhere. Thats for sure...

 

[inmyhead]

I'm so sorry you have come to this point but I wish you a safe and peaceful journey.

I've always been too terrified of hallucinogenica but tripping could be a really nice way to go. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well.

 

[OrphicEnd]

Well, prolifers are everywhere. Thats for sure...

"They are in the cities.. in the countryside...! "
You should try to be a little less condescending.


--
Godspeed, I hope you find the peace you're looking for, LopSided.