Goodbye thread / SN and LSD

[aiki__0]

Please be careful you don't take a bad trip. Sleep well friend

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Well, prolifers are everywhere. Thats for sure...

Are there pro lifers in the room with you right now?

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Unless you're on very good terms with them I highly recommend you don't text your ex in case you end up having a good acid trip and change your mind about CTB or your SI kicks in

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Unless you're on very good terms with them I highly recommend you don't text your ex in case you end up having a good acid trip and change your mind about CTB or your SI kicks in

Oh I know id text her after I drink the SN. Hopefully shes by her phone and responds but if not oh well. Idk what id even say. Were not really on good terms. I broke up with her really impulsively 6 months ago and broke her heart. She wouldnt take me back when I realised my mistake and has just left me on read the last 2 times ive tried to contact her. Wish I could hear her voice again before I go

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Oh I know id text her after I drink the SN. Hopefully shes by her phone and responds but if not oh well. Idk what id even say. Were not really on good terms. I broke up with her really impulsively 6 months ago and broke her heart. She wouldnt take me back when I realised my mistake and has just left me on read the last 2 times ive tried to contact her. Wish I could hear her voice again before I go

With this in mind, i really would not recommend texting her. Especially if they'd be the last person you ever interact with. Unless you want to really hurt her or give her a complex. If you desperately want to interact before you CTB at least call her. And dont give her even a single idea that its her fault, if you really care about her. At least thats my advice

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

With this in mind, i really would not recommend texting her. Especially if they'd be the last person you ever finteract with. Unless you want to really hurt her or give her a complex. If you desperately want to interact before you CTB at least call her. And dont give her even a single idea that its her fault, if you really care about her. At least thats my advice

Id of course make sure she knows I wasnt doing this because of her in a note which is only a half lie. Shes not the main reason for me killing myself but it if I still had her, I most likely wouldnt feel like I have to do this. I do care about her a lot. Probably more than myself

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Id of course make sure she knows I wasnt doing this because of her in a note which is only a half lie. Shes not the main reason for me killing myself but it if I still had her, I most likely wouldnt feel like I have to do this. I do care about her a lot. Probably more than myself

If you really really cared about her you would not contact her at all. Even if you tried to make sure she knows that she isnt at fault she still is likely to think she is. The best thing you can do for people you care about is not involve them at all unless you want them to feel guilty or at fault. The more you tell her its not her fault the more she will think she did something to aid in your decision. And if she did indirectly influence your decision like youre out right saying she did, the best thing you can do is not involve her. If you really truly unselfishly care about her dont even mention her in the note. Do not contact her before you CTB. Unless you want to hurt her. Thats all thats going to happen

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

If you really really cared about her you would not contact her at all. Eben if you tried to make sure she isnt at fault she still is likely to think she is. The best thing you can do for people you care about is not involve them at all. I wouldnt even mention her in the note. The more you tell her its not her fault the more she will think she did something to aid in your decision. And if she did indirectly influence your decision like youre out right saying she did, the best thing you can do is not involve her. If you really truly unselfishly care about her dont even mention her in the note. Do not contact her before you CTB. Unless you want to hurt her. Thats all thats going to happen

That makes complete sense. I will not text her. Thank you for speaking some sense into me lol

 

[hermestrimegistus]

That makes complete sense. I will not text her. Thank you for speaking some sense into me lol

It comes from a lifetime of being a complete fucking idiot and trying to express how I feel about people. Just dont. It never ends well. Its better to just keep this shit to yourself. Especially if theres no chance youre going to change your mind and not CTB. And if she doesnt want you back theres nothing you can say that will change it. It'd just cause pain for both parties. Emotions are useless and a fucking bitch lol

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

It comes from a lifetime of being a complete fucking idiot and trying to express how I feel about people. Just dont. It never ends well. Its better to just keep this shit to yourself. Especially if theres no chance youre going to change your mind and not CTB. And if she doesnt want you back theres nothing you can say that will change it. It'd just cause pain for both parties. Emotions are useless and a fucking bitch lol

I dont think theres anything wrong with expressing how you feel to people but in this instance, there definitely is. Emotions do suck :(
1 more hour till work is over!!! Have my note written as well now

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I dont think theres anything wrong with expressing how you feel to people but in this instance, there definitely is. Emotions do suck :(
1 more hour till work is over!!! Have my note written as well now

Can you think of a single instance where expressing how you feel doesnt come back to bite you in the ass? At least I cant. Safe travels. I wish you all the best. I'm sorry it came to this. I wish things could be different for you

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck, i hope you escape peacefully.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

This is most likely going to be my last day alive. Im at work right now and as soon as I get home tonight, im going start the process. I will use my SN. The drugs that I will be taking prior are 120mg propranalol and 200ug of LSD. Unfortunately I dont have an antiemetic but whatever. I wont eat anything today. Im going to take the LSD and propranolol at the same time and while waiting for it to kick in, ill prepare 25g of my SN in 2 cups and set them on my nightstand. When I start tripping and my SI is gone, and it feels like the right time,ill drink my SN and lay on my right side till I pass out and die (psychedelics pretty much completely remove my SI when im tripping and make me really suicidal). I might text my ex and try to have a conversation about anything just so she can be the last person I talk to. Ill obviously drink my second cup if I vomit too much. Today really just seems right and I feel ready. Still pretty nervous but thats what the acids for I guess. I will update as I complete the steps when Im and home and begin. I will be doing this while my mom is home so there is a chance that I will be found and survive. Because thats a possibility, I ask that my account not be banned until I havent come back here for a week. I will also update if I chicken out. The suffering might finally be done tonight.

Acid and propranolol have been taken. Weighing out sn now

 

[kipper]

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. Goodnight <3

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Acid and propranolol have been taken. Weighing out sn now

25g sn is A LOT. Way more than I expected. Pretty damn salty too when I licked my finger. I guess it is salt lol

25g sn is A LOT. Way more than I expected. Pretty damn salty too when I licked my finger. I guess it is salt lol

Shouldnt be too bad to drink though.

Can you think of a single instance where expressing how you feel doesnt come back to bite you in the ass? At least I cant. Safe travels. I wish you all the best. I'm sorry it came to this. I wish things could be different for you

Yes. I opened up about my feelings and cried in my ex girlfriends arms several times and she made me feel so much better. She told me it was okay to cry, open up to her, and that she wasnt going anywhere. I did get very lucky with her though. Such a great girl

 

[toofargone6969]

Safe travels. I hope you find peace and relief of your pain.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Safe travels. I hope you find peace and relief of your pain.

Waiting for the acid to kick in now. Feeling a lot more hesitant than I was most of the day but I know that the only way to solve my problems is by doing this. Mom wont be home for a few hours so hopefully the acid gives me the boost I need to drink some ocean water

 

[toofargone6969]

Waiting for the acid to kick in now. Feeling a lot more hesitant than I was most of the day but I know that the only way to solve my problems is by doing this. Mom wont be home for a few hours so hopefully the acid gives me the boost I need to drink some ocean water

If you feel hesitant there's no shame in backing out. The great thing about CTB is it will always be an option and you can come back to it later. The lsd will guide you where you need to go, maybe CTB maybe not. How much lsd did you take?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

If you feel hesitant there's no shame in backing out. The great thing about CTB is it will always be an option and you can come back to it later. The lsd will guide you where you need to go, maybe CTB maybe not. How much lsd did you take?

two and a half tabs which is supposedly 250ug. The plan here is just to let the acid guide me. Im just gonna do whatever feels right

 

[zamzas]

I hope you can reach the end you're aiming for, I wish you a safe and peaceful journey.

 

[toofargone6969]

two and a half tabs which is supposedly 250ug. The plan here is just to let the acid guide me. Im just gonna do whatever feels right

That's a pretty hefty dose. I'm sending good vibes your way. Hopefully the right choice reveals itself to you in a way that is peaceful and not frightening in any way.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

That's a pretty hefty dose. I'm sending good vibes your way. Hopefully the right choice reveals itself to you in a way that is peaceful and not frightening in any way.

It is but I have a really high tolerance to psychs. Took me 5g lemon tekked shrooms to actually have a trip. Anything less just gave me a nice body high. Barely felt anything at all from 1 tab the only time before this I tried acid.

That's a pretty hefty dose. I'm sending good vibes your way. Hopefully the right choice reveals itself to you in a way that is peaceful and not frightening in any way.

Im starting to feel the come up right now though and I have a feeling this is gonna be intense haha. And smoked some weed too. Things are about to get interesting

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish for a fine trip and a successful journey to wherever you decide. Go well, have peace.

 

[toofargone6969]

It is but I have a really high tolerance to psychs. Took me 5g lemon tekked shrooms to actually have a trip. Anything less just gave me a nice body high. Barely felt anything at all from 1 tab the only time before this I tried acid.

Im starting to feel the come up right now though and I have a feeling this is gonna be intense haha. And smoked some weed too. Things are about to get interesting

Wow, I definitely know the feeling. The come up is always strange each time. I will be here if you need to talk, although it may be challenging soon for you to type lol.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Wow, I definitely know the feeling. The come up is always strange each time. I will be here if you need to talk, although it may be challenging soon for you to type lol.

Yeah its just like an almost anxious feeling. So hard to describe. Im actuallly feeling really happy now and like im probably not going to kill myself but thats how my last shroom trip started and that ended very differently lol

 

[Inthewind]

Goodbye, I hope you find peace

 

[wait.what]

The acid is probably starting to kick in now, so I'll be brief. Deciding it's your time to head out is fine. Set your phone far enough away to reduce the chance of impulsive calls/texts, and drink the SN while you're still likely to have some time alone. Deciding you want to live a while longer is also fine. In that case, set the SN out of reach (preferably unused, since it's getting hard to find).

I really can't recommend a scenario where you make a credible attempt on your life, but also "set the stage" for a near-certain rescue. People tend to view that as holding them hostage through their feelings for you, and they are very likely to withdraw. If you have something to tell people, just tell them. Your words won't be more convincing if spoken in the middle of a halfhearted suicide attempt.

Good luck no matter your decision. I hope you're able to get rid of the pain.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

The acid is probably starting to kick in now, so I'll be brief. Deciding it's your time to head out is fine. Set your phone far enough away to reduce the chance of impulsive calls/texts, and drink the SN while you're still likely to have some time alone. Deciding you want to live a while longer is also fine. In that case, set the SN out of reach (preferably unused, since it's getting hard to find).

I really can't recommend a scenario where you make a credible attempt on your life, but also "set the stage" for a near-certain rescue. People tend to view that as holding them hostage through their feelings for you, and they are very likely to withdraw. If you have something to tell people, just tell them. Your words won't be more convincing if spoken in the middle of a halfhearted suicide attempt.

Good luck no matter your decision. I hope you're able to get rid of the pain.

Yeah its kicking in about now lol. Feeling fucking crazy in a good way

Yeah its kicking in about now lol. Feeling fucking crazy in a good

The acid is probably starting to kick in now, so I'll be brief. Deciding it's your time to head out is fine. Set your phone far enough away to reduce the chance of impulsive calls/texts, and drink the SN while you're still likely to have some time alone. Deciding you want to live a while longer is also fine. In that case, set the SN out of reach (preferably unused, since it's getting hard to find).

I really can't recommend a scenario where you make a credible attempt on your life, but also "set the stage" for a near-certain rescue. People tend to view that as holding them hostage through their feelings for you, and they are very likely to withdraw. If you have something to tell people, just tell them. Your words won't be more convincing if spoken in the middle of a halfhearted suicide attempt.

Good luck no matter your decision. I hope you're able to get rid of the pain.

Thank you for the advice

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Yeah its kicking in about now lol. Feeling fucking crazy in a good way


Thank you for the advice

Never tried drugs. What's it like?

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Never tried drugs. What's it like?

Psychedelics are almost impossible to describe with words. You should try them sometime. Pretty cool