Goodbye thread / SN and LSD

[CrazyDiamond04]

Psychedelics are almost impossible to describe with words. You should try them sometime. Pretty cool

Haha yeah I guess that makes sense. It's probably too late for me to use drugs.

 

[dopamineDeluge]

i hope you're doing well, and i wish you luck and peace wherever you end up. acid is quite a beast, i don't know if i personally find it wise to take acid before an attempt to CTB. especially considering it's your second time, which i believe it is if i've read this thread correctly. but it's your life and not mine. none of my business. i hope this happiness you feel on your trip fuels you to push forward, but again it is not up to me how your story unfolds. i wish the best for you. i know you deserve it.

 

[SVEN]

You're sounding pretty settled, so every hope for a good trip. Maybe put on some gentle sounds quietly in the background. (Albatross by Fleetwood Mac is always settling for me).

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

i hope you're doing well, and i wish you luck and peace wherever you end up. acid is quite a beast, i don't know if i personally find it wise to take acid before an attempt to CTB. especially considering it's your second time, which i believe it is if i've read this thread correctly. but it's your life and not mine. none of my business. i hope this happiness you feel on your trip fuels you to push forward, but again it is not up to me how your story unfolds. i wish the best for you. i know you deserve it.

The acid will let me know if I am going to kill myself tonight or not. Tabs are hitting pretty hard now

 

[dopamineDeluge]

The acid will let me know if I am going to kill myself tonight or not. Tabs are hitting pretty hard now

are they pulling you in a certain direction? i've never been a psychonaut but have done fair few psychedelics and know they definitely inhibit my ability to think properly :p

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

are they pulling you in a certain direction? i've never been a psychonaut but have done fair few psychedelics and know they definitely inhibit my ability to think properly :p

When I did shrooms they definitely pushed me more towards suicide during the 2nd half of the trip. Right now im feeling like i probably wont kill myself but things can change. A little tough to type right now

 

[The depresionator]

Acid and ctb attempt is hard-core I'll give you that. The drugs normally make me very anxious and less likely able to complete the task at hand. I'd maybe rip a pipe of the dmt I have and hope the nightmares it normally brings would force my hand.

My only advice would be to wait until the mild comedown to begin. Mull over your trip and then decide on your fate.

 

[dopamineDeluge]

When I did shrooms they definitely pushed me more towards suicide during the 2nd half of the trip. Right now im feeling like i probably wont kill myself but things can change. A little tough to type right now

shrooms have always increased my suicidal ideation lol. i think they are definitely significantly more emotional and force you to face your feelings for sure. i hope everything works out for you tonight, come back with an update if you feel any desire. good luck!

 

[HouseofMortok]

shrooms have always increased my suicidal ideation lol. i think they are definitely significantly more emotional and force you to face your feelings for sure. i hope everything works out for you tonight, come back with an update if you feel any desire. good luck!

Must of been a crap batch, both times I've tried 5g of Golden Teacher, I felt nauseous, 1st time I threw up after hours of lying on sofa trying hardest not to puke (hate puking) I never tripped, felt like brain fog, couldn't focus on a single thought, other than 'don't throw up!', didn't see any change in colours (stuck Star Trek on and hoped I'd trip into some Space type stuff lol) that one was dumping 5g ground up into Coca Cola, froffed up and wasn't appetising, but downed it.

2nd time, 2 week later, made a Cofveve (coffee lol), was more manageable to drink, same again, nothing but nausea/stomach pains, but didn't puke. I know there's lemon/ginger for nausea but I'm a fussy bugger with food n liquids, I'm surprised i even managed the froffed up cola mess lol

Going to try again at some point and try something with lemon in to see if it metabolises better? I read about intentions n stuff, but i figured, take a big dose n see what happens. Unfortunately hours of stomach discomfort only.

 

[MiMif]

This is most likely going to be my last day alive. Im at work right now and as soon as I get home tonight, im going start the process. I will use my SN. The drugs that I will be taking prior are 120mg propranalol and 200ug of LSD. Unfortunately I dont have an antiemetic but whatever. I wont eat anything today. Im going to take the LSD and propranolol at the same time and while waiting for it to kick in, ill prepare 25g of my SN in 2 cups and set them on my nightstand. When I start tripping and my SI is gone, and it feels like the right time,ill drink my SN and lay on my right side till I pass out and die (psychedelics pretty much completely remove my SI when im tripping and make me really suicidal). I might text my ex and try to have a conversation about anything just so she can be the last person I talk to. Ill obviously drink my second cup if I vomit too much. Today really just seems right and I feel ready. Still pretty nervous but thats what the acids for I guess. I will update as I complete the steps when Im and home and begin. I will be doing this while my mom is home so there is a chance that I will be found and survive. Because thats a possibility, I ask that my account not be banned until I havent come back here for a week. I will also update if I chicken out. The suffering might finally be done tonight.

Do whatever you do with a smile. Make sure you really smile to be satisfied with whatever way you choose to go. I love you stranger.

 

[snowcloud9]

Best wishes to you! Have a peaceful death

 

[notahappygirl]

Hope everything goes as planned :)

 

[M.O.N]

wishing you the best of luck. I hope everything goes well <3

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

I hate myself so much. I couldnt get myself to do it

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Thats okay, nothing to be ashamed of!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hate myself so much. I couldnt get myself to do it

I hope you get to some peace, anyway. Everyone deserves peace, whether they're alive or dead.

 

[Bluebunnysky]

It wasn't your time yet; Nothing to worry about. Take things one day at a time!

 

[toofargone6969]

Agree with the above, it wasn't your time and that's ok. Perhaps the lsd trip will give you some insight into what you need to feel better about being alive. Don't be ashamed, we have all been there. I'm glad you're still here.

 

[Tulip<3]

Don't feel bad or ashamed! No one here is pushing you to do it, not at all. Just supporting you along whatever decision you end up on.

How are you feeling now?

 

[duwangJEff]

Interesting to me that you're taking psychadelics before CTB. Whenever I take shrooms, I feel an urge/desire to CTB during the trip, and I felt like it would be nice to dissappear somewhere, trip super hard, and then just disappear into my mind

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome back! It wasn't time to go. I hope you're doing ok now. I wish you all the best!

 

[SVEN]

I hate myself so much. I couldnt get myself to do it

And that's fine too, just be kind to yourself and take things easy today.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

We're still here too. We are all here to support each other no matter what we decide. Glad your still with us.

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

Interesting to me that you're taking psychadelics before CTB. Whenever I take shrooms, I feel an urge/desire to CTB during the trip, and I felt like it would be nice to dissappear somewhere, trip super hard, and then just disappear into my mind

I felt the same way on shrooms but didnt feel that way on the acid. I just got sad as fuck but didnt actually get any motivation to kill myself like I got from the shrooms. Acid fucking sucks compared to shrooms anyways to me it seems like, I couldnt sleep until 7am this morning and feel so terrible today when I could fall asleep 5 hours after lemon tekking. Really shitty high compared to shrooms too. I also prefer the visuals I got on shrooms as well.

 

[duwangJEff]

I felt the same way on shrooms but didnt feel that way on the acid. I just got sad as fuck but didnt actually get any motivation to kill myself like I got from the shrooms. Acid fucking sucks compared to shrooms anyways to me it seems like, I couldnt sleep until 7am this morning and feel so terrible today when I could fall asleep 5 hours after lemon tekking. Really shitty high compared to shrooms too. I also prefer the visuals I got on shrooms as well.

Interesting. I haven't tried acid yet, so I wouldn't know how different they are. Even with shrooms, I've had entirely different trips each time. My first trip was rather fun, with strong visuals. My two most recent trips, I felt miserable, hopeless, and entirely isolated. A lot of the feelings I have buried inside my mind get dredged up and I get buried in them. Maybe I wouldn't feel that way if I didn't trip alone in the dark though

 

[IWishToDie]

This is most likely going to be my last day alive. Im at work right now and as soon as I get home tonight, im going start the process. I will use my SN. The drugs that I will be taking prior are 120mg propranalol and 200ug of LSD. Unfortunately I dont have an antiemetic but whatever. I wont eat anything today. Im going to take the LSD and propranolol at the same time and while waiting for it to kick in, ill prepare 25g of my SN in 2 cups and set them on my nightstand. When I start tripping and my SI is gone, and it feels like the right time,ill drink my SN and lay on my right side till I pass out and die (psychedelics pretty much completely remove my SI when im tripping and make me really suicidal). I might text my ex and try to have a conversation about anything just so she can be the last person I talk to. Ill obviously drink my second cup if I vomit too much. Today really just seems right and I feel ready. Still pretty nervous but thats what the acids for I guess. I will update as I complete the steps when Im and home and begin. I will be doing this while my mom is home so there is a chance that I will be found and survive. Because thats a possibility, I ask that my account not be banned until I havent come back here for a week. I will also update if I chicken out. The suffering might finally be done tonight.

@lopsidedcrawdad1 Says you're still alive. What happened?