I've completely lost my mind and my psyche is broken. no conscience, no heart, no soul, no feeling, complete nihilist, just existing like a vegetable with an idle mind. I'm not a sane person anymore and I could really hurt people so I'd rather not continue. life is supposed to have meaning, but if you are mentally and emotionally detached from everything and everyone then what's the point. and I'm not even depressed. depression is a feeling, which I dont have anymore. I'm not "feeling" suicidal either. I just know I need to do it so I can stop waking up to this state of mind. what triggered this is incredible loneliness, lost sense of self, sense of direction, no purpose, no zest for life anymore. no point in getting a job with a disturbed mind. I'm leaving behind an incredibly loving family and I know it'll break their heart, esp my mom, but there's nothing them or anyone can do to help me.