But I did make an ass of myself. I did this multiple times last year. I thought the reason I couldn't do it then had a lot to do with my ctb place being outside in a fairly open space. After some time of being on SS longer and doing a lot more research on SN I thought it probably also had a lot to do with the fact that at the time I only knew the basics and I needed to know more to be comfortable with it. Now I know that I'm just a coward. I shouldn't say I'm going to do something then not go through with it. I also saw a long time ago others here talk about the emotional toll goodbye threads have on people and how when someone doesn't go through with it they're playing with people's emotions. That's stuck with me all this time, I suppose because of guilt cause that's what I've unintentionally done, and now I've done it again. I'm sorry.OMG.. please don't be sorry. The last thing you need is to feel pressure to do something you're not ready for . You did NOT make an ass at all of yourself..
we all experience that struggle.. there wouldn't be anyone on this forum if it was easy.
On a side note.. don't take that phenibut.. stuff is nasty for the brain.. so many horror stories of withdrawal and making anxiety worse.. have u been taking it often or is it a special occasion thing?
Natural Medicines - Phenibut warning
Natural Medicines, the Authority on Integrative Medicinenaturalmedicines.therapeuticresearch.com
No you aren't. We are all right behind you and you are an important person who matters. I am proud of you.
Some say ctb is being a coward.. it's all perspective.. so stop beating yourself up.
I'm still here. I was a coward and didn't go through with it.
I'm 25. Between my social anxiety and lack of social skills I often say the wrong things and sound younger than I am. I should probably shut up now. I can tell I'm making myself sound stupid and incompetent.
It's not so much that I want to share it with the world as it is that I don't want to die alone. It is a scary thing. Now thinking it over I believe posting it so far ahead of time may not have been the best thing, that it did add pressure, which didn't help and only resulted in me being more of a wreck. I think next time, and yes I do believe there will be a next time, that I should post it very shortly before I do it. That way I won't feel so stressed, like I have to do it, beforehand and I won't have to be alone.
Hey, I want to apologize. Now rereading my response I realize that it probably came off wrong. I'm frustrated with myself, not you, because you aren't the first person here who has said that I sound young. I'm shitty at communicating, and I hate that I don't know how to fix it.
I've had multiple failed attempts. I've recently tried using alcohol to try and get the edge. Don't feel you made an ass out of yourself. I don't think we should be trying to do the deed, I think we are just fucked up and something is wired wrong. Maybe being abused, or neglected, hated by parents or what ever is what fucked up the wiring. But it's just another day to breathe and find something to hold on to, or the meaning of it all.
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/fearlessness-suicide.66173/
25! I had only three serious attempts in my curriculum.
I think you communicate very well.
Yikes! I have one half-assed "attempt" and two practice thingies. I better get to work lol.
I made the list. I think it helped.
I understand but please don't feel bad about it. At least not to us. That's why we're all here, to support each other.
