Goodbye Sanctioned Suicide

[hihi2027]

When I went on Sanctioned Suicide I thought that I would find like minded individuals who heard my story but instead it is just the same crap as every other platform. I am constantly shut out by everyone - no one can connect to me no one at all; they just shut me out because I am pathetic and nothing. They promised me a community but it's not that at all - it is an echo chamber of misery, which yes thats what this site is for. It is for you to share thoughts on suicide that you otherwise would not be able to, but they trick you with lies of a community. There is no community, it is just a forum made up of islands owned by individuals with their own strugglea that will never feel anyone connect to their story. You will get passbyers that perhaps react with a heart or hug or a thumbs up (hate this one) and maybe a useless comment but that's it. I have never been able to hold friendships anywhere, not even on here. I am just not here for anyone I suppose and no one wants me. I am a boring piece of crap; no one wants me here. They offer to message you but they never get back to me. Only after 10 hours they get back to me and give a 2 sentence reponse. It's they don't care. Why would they? am not worth anyone's time. Do not even reply to this post honestly don't even bother. I will disappoint you and I will disappoint myself. I am a waste of space in all communities I go to, even this one. No one cares about me. All I wanted was a friend that would listen and not abandon me but obviously I do not deserve that and guys do not even bother messaging me; I will not want to be burned again and I've already seen enough. I only want this site for a method and I have mine already it's just a matter of planning it at this point and gathering the resources needed. But even that part is going to take awhile, so I have to suffer in limbo for who knows how long.

 

[SASU-KE]

It's been just around 1 1/2 months since you have joined. It takes time. Chemistry needs to be there for good relationships. Both people need to like each other and meet at the right stage of their lives.
It's not an indictment against you.

If you message someone going through a really tough time now, or is busy or is getting evicted or one of the many difficult things people here face they won't be able to respond much. So you need to give people leeway.

Give it time and Stick around Please.You just need one good friend. You'll eventually meet them.

If you don't, I'll look at your past post history and give you likes(thumbs up) for every single post.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

Sorry for replying, but I feel the same, I never had friends because I was severely neglected and bullied and even in online people make fun of me because where I'm from, who I am. I get the worthless and useless feeling so much when I try to make friends it's always end up in regretting like why did i even tried in the first place?! When in my college everyone has friends I frickin sit down and my heart goes up thinking people will pity me on how frickin lonely I am. I don't want to be pitied, judged, feel like I don't belong, worthless but that's what I feel all of these years and I just isolate myself....I just wanted human connection but I couldn't because I feel like I don't deserve that somehow cause my trauma believed me that and I don't know why people seems to ignore me so much until there's something really important thing to ask.

I feel so ashamed that I still keep breathing I don't even feel like a human, I feel like I am an alien who is lost in this stupid planet. I hope the best for you. You can connect with me...I can't say about a good friendship but a human connection.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry you feel that way about here~ :( I think it's mentioned somewhere, but a lot of the people here are depressed, meaning that it is more difficult for them to make responses and maintain active discussion~ unfortunately, I too have difficulties with making friends~ >_< not to mention all the working and studying means that I'm hampered as to how quick I can make responses (usually on Sundays)~ >_< I hope you can make friends~ :( I hope I can too~ >_< I do think people do make connections and friendships here, altho it's not as often as one would like~ >_< I feel like that's been a recent shift unfortunately, whereas it used to be easier in that regard~ >~<

When in my college everyone has friends I frickin sit down and my heart goes up thinking people will pity me on how frickin lonely I am. I don't want to be pitied, judged, feel like I don't belong, worthless but that's what I feel all of these years and I just isolate myself....I just wanted human connection but I couldn't because I feel like I don't deserve that somehow cause my trauma believed me that and I don't know why people seems to ignore me so much until there's something really important thing to ask.

it'd be really neat if people could come over and talk to us~ >_<

 

[booplesnoot34]

Well that's sad. I only saw one of your posts but I saw a bunch of people replying and giving advice. Tbh it's hard to make friends here because so many of us die.

 

[MatiSendiri]

I hate to say it but you have good rest for the last few days? I think you need it

 

[Jiroscope]

I genuinely connect with this post, I feel the same way.

I know it's on me, but it's so hard to make friends, and it's somehow harder on here. I'm not on here daily and mostly lurk so thats probably why tho lmao. I still wish I had a friend who cared or a community that accepted me.

I'm sorry you've had this experience too.

 

[pickedmyctbdate]

I hope you'll stick around. This is the first online community I've found that actually does seem to care. (Have you seen Reddit? OMG....talk about a pathetic hellhole! You could say the sky is blue and someone would tell you what dumb asshole you are. They're basically 4chan with more legitimacy.)

Sure, we've all got our own shit, and tend to talk about our own shit. But that happens when you put a lot of sensitive and suicidal people in one forum together. Sensitive people also do tend to be caring though.

This is possibly the most caring place I've ever found on the Internet. (And yes, I was on an earlier edition of this forum, but I wasn't very active, so I'm not AS new as I appear to be.) I've just become more active as I've reached the point of seriously needing to make the decision of whether to go or stay for a while longer and give things another chance. It's just that every time I fucking do that, I fail, which makes it harder to sucker myself into optimism again.

I hope you stay. I'm not big with emojis either. Sometimes I use them because I want the person to know I saw and appreciated what they had to say, but in general I forget they exist. But I know they are meaninful to others so I try to remember to use them sometimes.

Did something happen that's making you feel this way? Like was someone rude to you or something?

 

[ctb_warrior]

When I went on Sanctioned Suicide I thought that I would find like minded individuals who heard my story but instead it is just the same crap as every other platform. I am constantly shut out by everyone - no one can connect to me no one at all; they just shut me out because I am pathetic and nothing. They promised me a community but it's not that at all - it is an echo chamber of misery, which yes thats what this site is for. It is for you to share thoughts on suicide that you otherwise would not be able to, but they trick you with lies of a community. There is no community, it is just a forum made up of islands owned by individuals with their own strugglea that will never feel anyone connect to their story. You will get passbyers that perhaps react with a heart or hug or a thumbs up (hate this one) and maybe a useless comment but that's it. I have never been able to hold friendships anywhere, not even on here. I am just not here for anyone I suppose and no one wants me. I am a boring piece of crap; no one wants me here. They offer to message you but they never get back to me. Only after 10 hours they get back to me and give a 2 sentence reponse. It's they don't care. Why would they? am not worth anyone's time. Do not even reply to this post honestly don't even bother. I will disappoint you and I will disappoint myself. I am a waste of space in all communities I go to, even this one. No one cares about me. All I wanted was a friend that would listen and not abandon me but obviously I do not deserve that and guys do not even bother messaging me; I will not want to be burned again and I've already seen enough. I only want this site for a method and I have mine already it's just a matter of planning it at this point and gathering the resources needed. But even that part is going to take awhile, so I have to suffer in limbo for who knows how long.

My dear buddy.. I'm sure we have crossed paths before, I would like to share my experience with you.. i became active recently in the first week of august. I started interacting, posting and I have become friends with so many of the kind members. However, I can understand one thing, where you have mentioned that people respond after hours that too with a one or two liner.

The delay is probably because, most ppl log out of the site and visit it after several hours and they are also one of us who started lurking on the site to find a method, then made an account but shy away from interacting..

This community is full of loving people who genuinely care and are in the same boat as you and me. Some people are extrovert, some are introvert, some don't know how to express their emotions, some are not so good at communication or connecting with others.

My suggestion to you is, hang on, post your thoughts often, people who resonate with your thoughts will come up, some may dm you. I got couple of good friends who are now connected outside of this site as well. I'm sure if I can make amazing friends, you can too. Sometimes may be post your thoughts on other's posts. Initiate an interaction from your end to someone you resonate with. Introduce yourself, share your pain and they'll understand and they'll probably share theirs. Sometimes you'll have a good laugh with them.

My dms are open if you would like to connect with me.

P.s. I'm likely to ctb next week if all goes as per plan, but the many challenges in its way make me doubt if i can pull it off successfully. I'm scared af.

I'm sorry you feel that way about here~ :( I think it's mentioned somewhere, but a lot of the people here are depressed, meaning that it is more difficult for them to make responses and maintain active discussion~ unfortunately, I too have difficulties with making friends~ >_< not to mention all the working and studying means that I'm hampered as to how quick I can make responses (usually on Sundays)~ >_< I hope you can make friends~ :( I hope I can too~ >_< I do think people do make connections and friendships here, altho it's not as often as one would like~ >_< I feel like that's been a recent shift unfortunately, whereas it used to be easier in that regard~ >~<


it'd be really neat if people could come over and talk to us~ >_<

You are right, i also feel the engagement has decreased significantly. There are less active people on this site than ever before. May be it's a good thing that less ppl wanna ctb. I can see 3000+ guest users whenever i login.
However yes, let's make it as interactive as possible. I try to comment on every post from my side. I have seen your kind and caring comments on many posts as well

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you feel this way. SaSu is certainly a great place but it's difficult to make friend here due to the circumstances everyone's here. Making freinds isn't easy at all bc there is a big difference between friedn and a real friend that also stays with u during hard times. The latter is a real friend and these are very hard to find - you cannot force this kind of friendship it's sth that grows over a time span of many months and years.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I'm sorry you feel this way. SaSu is certainly a great place but it's difficult to make friend here due to the circumstances everyone's here. Making freinds isn't easy at all bc there is a big difference between friedn and a real friend that also stays with u during hard times. The latter is a real friend and these are very hard to find - you cannot force this kind of friendship it's sth that grows over a time span of many months and years.

And the sad part of it is, many of the ppl we have met here have crossed on to the other side. And some will cross over in the near future. Making friends and having attachments is a tough thing. When i myself think that one of my friends will ctb, i feel like if i could do something for them that'll stop them from feeling this way. Losing a friend to ctb is painful. I can feel that sensation in the centre of my chest near the heart when i even think of it