goodbye i guess

[100memoryleaks]

In my heart of hearts
I know that I could never love again
I've lost everything, everything
Everything that matters to me
Matters in this world

attempt number two.

gonna wait for everyone at home to fall asleep, take my dad's expired painkillers and go to the forest to hang myself

thanks everyone for your support here

 

[shibby]

idk if ur still here but i love you and i hope you really find peace. good luck and i hope u wont suffer!

 

[Kokonoe]

good luck and i hope you're able to pass peacefully <3

 

[punyama]

i found solace in reading your threads, i'm sorry you suffered so much.

 

[Ben 111]

Life is so bad

 

[darksouls]

see you on the other side, my friend

 

[100memoryleaks]

just updating to say goddamn. hydrocodone is awesome. if I had more of this stuff I might have lived longer. ok bye I guess.

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

Farewell hope you can find whatever you're seeking in the afterlife soulmerging extravaganza

 

[100memoryleaks]

just updating to say goddamn. hydrocodone is awesome. if I had more of this stuff I might have lived longer. ok bye I guess.

NEVER MIND I'm stupid, I took the oxycodone first. THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

if I could feel this way forever I would reconsider. i guess it's good to go out in a happy way tho, huh?

also I kinda have to ctb SOME TIME soon cuz I messed up something kinda important at work today and I don't wanna get yelled at for it

 

[toocraptoolong]

Please don't let a mistake at work be a reason to ctb - no job is worth that!

I understand your distress that you have lost your fp and don't feel like you will ever have another, but time seems to be moving so slowly for you. It may just take longer than a few weeks for them to forgive you or talk to you again, and you might even consider forgiving yourself if you let some more time go by.

I wish you peace and I don't mean to disrespect your right to choose. I just want you to know that screwing things up is normal and just letting time slide by for a bit can be easier than trying to stop it altogether

 

[100memoryleaks]

Please don't let a mistake at work be a reason to ctb - no job is worth that!

I understand your distress that you have lost your fp and don't feel like you will ever have another, but time seems to be moving so slowly for you. It may just take longer than a few weeks for them to forgive you or talk to you again, and you might even consider forgiving yourself if you let some more time go by.

I wish you peace and I don't mean to disrespect your right to choose. I just want you to know that screwing things up is normal and just letting time slide by for a bit can be easier than trying to stop it altogether

i wasn't totally serious about that, an angry text or two from coworkers is the least of my problems tbh ^^;

i just feel like such an idiot if i keep waiting for someone who may not even be coming back, he seems to be doing just fine without me. does he even think about me? does he miss me too? or is he just finally glad i'm gone? what if he comes back months later or something, and he's disgusted by how i've totally given up on myself? or will he be sympathetic to the immense pain i've been in?

 

[100memoryleaks]

i will probably try again tonight, or at least some time this week. i'm sure the afterlife if there is one will be better than any drug in the world.

just assume that if i don't post any updates for a week then i'm gone for good