• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

Status
Not open for further replies.
liverpoolfan

liverpoolfan

Student
Jun 10, 2019
189
I had a whole thing that I wanted to say, but lost my train of thought.

As we all know, SI is a bitch, you can have a gun in your hand and SI kicks in and you think twice, doesn't matter what method you have, SI will be present to save your life. Doesn't mean that you want will yourself to live, it just happens. OP, I'm sorry you're going through a lot in your life and that something inside you clicked and it didn't push you to the next stage, but that's okay. Just more things to think over. Kicking the OP down when she's already down doesn't help thing and makes you look like a buffoon. This is why this community gets shit on because some people like to taunt others after a failed attempt.
Well, all I said initially was that I was convinced she wasn't going to take it (which I was correct about) and that that was OK (which it is) and that good therapy would help (which it probably, but not definitely, would). I don't see that as 'taunting' or 'kicking' anyone.
And on the subject of empathy and lack of it, I saw a distinct lack of it in your message to me saying I was going to be banned. How do you know that *I'm* not suffering? FYI this is my darkest day in months and if I had the luxury of Nembutal to hand I'd be gone fucking TONIGHT.
So yeah it's nice to be nice and I'm sorry for hurting OP's feelings but you as a moderator might want to practice some of what you preach and not be kicking people while they're down and threatening bans.
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
Well, all I said initially was that I was convinced she wasn't going to take it (which I was correct about) and that that was OK (which it is) and that good therapy would help (which it probably, but not definitely, would). I don't see that as 'taunting' or 'kicking' anyone.
And on the subject of empathy and lack of it, I saw a distinct lack of it in your message to me saying I was going to be banned. How do you know that *I'm* not suffering? FYI this is my darkest day in months and if I had the luxury of Nembutal to hand I'd be gone fucking TONIGHT.
So yeah it's nice to be nice and I'm sorry for hurting OP's feelings but you as a moderator might want to practice some of what you preach and not be kicking people while they're down and threatening bans.
I'm sorry you're having a horrible day, but your comments really were incredibly condescending & insensitive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ming, littlelungs, BrokenArrow and 6 others
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
Well, all I said initially was that I was convinced she wasn't going to take it (which I was correct about) and that that was OK (which it is) and that good therapy would help (which it probably, but not definitely, would). I don't see that as 'taunting' or 'kicking' anyone.
And on the subject of empathy and lack of it, I saw a distinct lack of it in your message to me saying I was going to be banned. How do you know that *I'm* not suffering? FYI this is my darkest day in months and if I had the luxury of Nembutal to hand I'd be gone fucking TONIGHT.
So yeah it's nice to be nice and I'm sorry for hurting OP's feelings but you as a moderator might want to practice some of what you preach and not be kicking people while they're down and threatening bans.

*shakes head* And that's why you're gone.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: littlelungs, Pure, checkouttime and 1 other person
L

LansJ70

Student
May 3, 2021
193
What does this have to do with anything
So they are a lot older then.

What I'm suggesting is spending $900 or whatever it is now on something you won't take is a lot of money to spend, maybe you might be better off spending it on yourself.
 
peacefulhorizons

peacefulhorizons

Wizard
Dec 31, 2019
676
do you think it's possible todo it one by one
first bottle then chocolate, second bottle then chocolate
That should be fine but you need to be as quick as possible in order to not fall unconscious before consuming it all.
 
L

LansJ70

Student
May 3, 2021
193
That should be fine but you need to be as quick as possible in order to not fall unconscious before consuming it all.
Yeah I think it only takes a couple of minutes to kick in, there's the video with the author and the guy who took it in Switzerland and it was literally no time at all.

Although to be fair the amount he drunk didn't look like a lot, maybe it isn't necessary to drink 200ml?
 
I

ItsTimeToExit

Live to die another day
Jul 20, 2021
99
Yeah I think it only takes a couple of minutes to kick in, there's the video with the author and the guy who took it in Switzerland and it was literally no time at all.

Although to be fair the amount he drunk didn't look like a lot, maybe it isn't necessary to drink 200ml?
It isn't but I think people do it as an insurance policy.
 
  • Like
Reactions: zenn7
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,165
Yeah I think it only takes a couple of minutes to kick in, there's the video with the author and the guy who took it in Switzerland and it was literally no time at all.

Although to be fair the amount he drunk didn't look like a lot, maybe it isn't necessary to drink 200ml?
The only people I have seen take it (on videos) were old, sick and frail people. I guess that is why they drunk less.
 
L

LansJ70

Student
May 3, 2021
193
It isn't but I think people do it as an insurance policy.
I suppose there's a trade off between the insurance policy of taking more than you need to make sure (of a horrible tasting thing) and that putting you off, and taking just enough.

Like SN, I think the dose for an "average" weighted person is about 3 to 4 times the lethal dose, and that tastes like crap as well.
The only people I have seen take it (on videos) were old, sick and frail people. I guess that is why they drunk less.
I think it's down to weight, not age.
 
I

ItsTimeToExit

Live to die another day
Jul 20, 2021
99
I suppose there's a trade off between the insurance policy of taking more than you need to make sure (of a horrible tasting thing) and that putting you off, and taking just enough.
That is the one thing I don't fully understand with people taking N.

When Rowdy CTB he commented how the N didn't taste bad at first and then maybe 10 seconds later he commented on how bad it tasted. He gave it a 10/10 on the awful scale. It's beyond confirmed now that N has a horrible after taste.

That being said, drinking N puts you to sleep fairly quickly so the taste is not a serious concern. It's a small price to pay for that eternal peace.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Darkhaven, watchingthewheels, peacefulhorizons and 1 other person
R

roguetrader

Experienced
Feb 17, 2021
245
That is the one thing I don't fully understand with people taking N.

When Rowdy CTB he commented how the N didn't taste bad at first and then maybe 10 seconds later he commented on how bad it tasted. He gave it a 10/10 on the awful scale. It's beyond confirmed now that N has a horrible after taste.

That being said, drinking N puts you to sleep fairly quickly so the taste is not a serious concern. It's a small price to pay for that eternal peace.
Dang….wonder if it's so bad that you'd puke it out immediately or just be unable to down it
 
  • Like
Reactions: OpheliasFlowers and peacefulhorizons
C

checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,902
I'm around 40kg and 5'9-5'10" so that's a BMI of like 12-13 so am hoping that makes the transition faster and smoother…
WHY AM I STILL JUST STARING AT THE GLASS
I'm so scared because it's so much that I will just vomit or something… I cannot afford to fail or to end up a vegetable, that is my worst fear

at that weight you wouldn't even need to take 2 bottles, the average person is fine just taking one bottle.which is the equivalent of 2 shots of alcohol. the guy in the video does the 200ml in 7 gulps though if people want a comparison of how much effort it will take, i'd say in less than a minute aswell

In regards to the N still being ok, A used to decant N int a different bottle at one stage, and people used that to CTB with.so i think thats answers that question.
Might be worth asking but I think they only sell the generic version of N at the moment. Some of the info in the pph is out of date. I think the 200mg/ml version is coloured red and probably tastes even worse.

thing is with the stronger version you could literally take 2 shot glasses of it. and thats 10g of N, the average person will die from only 6.5g of N which means you could realistically do 1 1/2 shots of it!!!! the colour of a substance is just a dye, mainly so people are aware of whats exactly in the glass ,as the substance is indistinguishable from anything else.

there is actually a version that is 400mg/ml, maybe one day they will get that'd make it even less to drink.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
Reactions: Dead Meat
peacefulhorizons

peacefulhorizons

Wizard
Dec 31, 2019
676
hmm I wonder if one bottle would be enough if I booked two nights at a hotel for a 125 lbs person (aka me) to ctb within that time frame

I think I could definitely drink one bottle especially if I coat my tongue with honey, chocolate syrup, peanut butter, etc.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: stygal and Dead Meat
C

checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,902
Yeah I think it only takes a couple of minutes to kick in, there's the video with the author and the guy who took it in Switzerland and it was literally no time at all.

Although to be fair the amount he drunk didn't look like a lot, maybe it isn't necessary to drink 200ml?

you don't need to take 200ml, the average person only needs 6.5g of N or 1 bottle, thats the same as 2 shots of alcohol, not alot. OP is actually way below the weight of an average person. the 200ml is only mentioned for people that are above average weight. this will only apply to a small amount who aren't average, whereas alot of people will be average or less and would easily CTB with 1 bottle.

Its mentioned the pph that people are known to passs out mid conversation after they have drunk N and not even finishing their whisky or whatever they have chosen to drink after it
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: SuicidalAgain, OpheliasFlowers, LansJ70 and 2 others
D

donewrong

doomed
Jul 14, 2021
106
feel sorry for OP. Phillip Nitschke tweeted in the past that an opened N bottle has a 1 month longevity left. better not gamble
 
  • Like
Reactions: GreenMile and xLosthopex
OpheliasFlowers

OpheliasFlowers

Specialist
Apr 2, 2019
348
Dang….wonder if it's so bad that you'd puke it out immediately or just be unable to down it
I wonder about that too, and especially after reading an above poster's comment comparing it to the taste/odor of orthodontist's glue, which is something I know well after years of orthodontia and that glue is STRONG in taste and odor and always made me gag, it's terrible. :(
 
greyhound

greyhound

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
471
Will the N last as good in another glass bottle(I poured it into an old empty medicine bottle I had which used to contain Kay-Cee-L) even for a *few days*?? Like if I drink it tonight or tomorrow would it still be as effective does anyone know?!

I think there is a lot of misinformation about N shelf life once opened on here. It mainly stems from the vet N being injectable and this is what the 1 month shelf life comes from. After that it may not be sterile enough to inject so they recommend vets open a new bottle. For drinking the sterility doesn't matter. I don't know exactly how long it would take to degrade from exposure to oxygen, but certainly a while since they used to sell liquid N as a sedative to be drunk back in the day. I'm sure it would probably be fine for a few months at least.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: bed, Ripple, dyingalone123 and 6 others
sully

sully

Experienced
Jul 27, 2021
231
That should be fine but you need to be as quick as possible in order to not fall unconscious before consuming it all.
I dont know, I though I had a couple of minutes at least… and people on videos drink less liquid i think because its powder. They give them about 15 grams in less liquid I think
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: GreenMile and xLosthopex
xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
I dont know, I though I had a couple of minutes at least… and people on videos drink less liquid i think because its powder. They give them about 15 grams in less liquid I think
There no sellers of powdered N anymore, right?
 
LastLoveLetter

LastLoveLetter

Persephone
Mar 28, 2021
657
I am sorry you went through all of this only to have several people write accusatory, judgemental and presumptuous comments on your post. How anyone could think such behaviour is acceptable is beyond me. Unsuccessful attempts - whether it's an attempt that failed or an attempt that was not fully followed through - can be incredibly destabilising, frightening and traumatic. Being patronised and shamed for it is the last thing you need and not the response you deserve. It must be torture to be so sure that you want to die, and unable to go through with it the way you wanted, after going through so much trouble to acquire N.

It is not your fault. If suicide was so simple, no-one here who wants to die would hesitate to take their lives. Survival Instinct is a formidable beast that is far too often underestimated, even with access to a peaceful method.

I am sending you lots of hugs and support you, whatever you decide to do from here. I am so sorry that life has been so unbearably painful for you and led you to this point. I hope you find the peace you deserve. :heart:
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: xcaramel, tryingtoescape, it's_all_a_game and 12 others
xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
I am sorry you went through all of this only to have several people write accusatory, judgemental and presumptuous comments on your post. How anyone could think such behaviour is acceptable is beyond me. Unsuccessful attempts - whether it's an attempt that failed or an attempt that was not fully followed through - can be incredibly destabilising, frightening and traumatic. Being patronised and shamed for it is the last thing you need and not the response you deserve. It must be torture to be so sure that you want to die, and unable to go through with it the way you wanted, after going through so much trouble to acquire N.

It is not your fault. If suicide was so simple, no-one here who wants to die would hesitate to take their lives. Survival Instinct is a formidable beast that is far too often underestimated, even with access to a peaceful method.

I am sending you lots of hugs and support you, whatever you decide to do from here. I am so sorry that life has been so unbearably painful for you and led you to this point. I hope you find the peace you deserve. :heart:
Thank you so so much, I really appreciate you saying that :heart:
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: littlelungs, Rolo, Regen and 6 others
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
If someone wants to kill themselves surely they can glug down some liquid (like 200ml, it isn't even a cup of tea) or stand a bad taste for 2 minutes if after that you won't know anything about it.

It's like saying "oh yes I want to get rid of this horrible taste in my mouth, but I can't use mouth wash it's too much liquid, and I can't use this toothpaste because it's peppermint, not spearmint".

The horrible taste can't be that horrible then, can it?

If someone not suicidal had a choice of (lets say) cutting off their thumb (lets say it's trapped in a submarine hatch) to avoid being dragged under the waves and drowning, they'd chop it off in a heartbeat.

Here we have supposedly suicidal people who can't drink too much liquid because it's just too much to take 2 mouthfuls of a drink, or drink something that doesn't taste nice.

Other way round - drink this small amount of liquid that tastes horrible and will be the worst thing you ever drink or die - the normies would drink it instantly.

Then, incredibly after not drinking it "I think I'll order some more".

And point out the stupidity of that and you're being mean.

I blame the (elderly) parents.

Some seriously fucked up people on here, and worst of all is they're toying with other peoples emotions while they play their stupid games.

Peace out or whatever bollocks.

Yes, you really are seriously fucked up. Your "insights" about OP's problems & behavior are the product of a dangerously feeble, toxic mind.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: littlelungs, Quiet Desperation, Peel_the_Banana and 7 others
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I
There no sellers of powdered N anymore, right?
have seen a seller for powder on the dark web. They have good rating in the market if i remember correctly
 
UselessMF

UselessMF

Member
Dec 4, 2020
80
It's unbelievable how toxic people on this forum can be sometimes. Or judging people without knowing anything about them

Sometimes it looks like a weird competition about who's in the worst situation and who have good reasons to ctb and who don't. As a parent I know by reading this forum that I don't have the right to end my life no matter what, cause I'm selfish monster who only think with my genitals. Theres probably more judgment here than in "normal" society.

I've been a lurker here for a year and a half and every time i'm reading a goodbye post I'm so sad someone had come to this solution, but at the same time it's everyone's choice to do what they want of their life.

Judging OP attempt by pretending to know exactly what was going through his mind at the moment is disrespectful.
 
  • Like
Reactions: littlelungs, OpheliasFlowers and Snake of Eden
peacefulhorizons

peacefulhorizons

Wizard
Dec 31, 2019
676
There no sellers of powdered N anymore, right?
Sadly not. C stopped selling back in September 2020 unfortunately. In my opinion, we are overdue a new powdered N seller lol. Usually there is always at least availability of powdered N at least once a year but nothing so far in 2021.

I'm really disappointed in myself for not buying C's powder last year because I would personally prefer the powder as well. Although A's Dolethal was an attractive option (10 grams in 50ml is amazing).
 
  • Like
Reactions: dyingalone123, Darkhaven, xLosthopex and 1 other person
C

checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,902
The only people I have seen take it (on videos) were old, sick and frail people. I guess that is why they drunk less.

the guy in the video i posted clearly drinks roughly half a pint glass of liquid. its not going to be powder as in them videos its a 50ml shot, someones not going to add more water to powder N to drink more fluid for the sake of it when they can just shot it in 50ml of water, that would make no sense at all. He's also not that old
 
  • Like
Reactions: peacefulhorizons
xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
Sometimes it looks like a weird competition about who's in the worst situation and who have good reasons to ctb and who don't. As a parent I know by reading this forum that I don't have the right to end my life no matter what, cause I'm selfish monster who only think with my genitals. Theres probably more judgment here than in "normal" society.

I've been a lurker here for a year and a half and every time i'm reading a goodbye post I'm so sad someone had come to this solution, but at the same time it's everyone's choice to do what they want of their life.

Judging OP attempt by pretending to know exactly what was going through his mind at the moment is disrespectful.

Just wanna say I'm a her not a him because I've seen a few people refer to me as such! :ahhha: But thank you<3
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: peacefulhorizons
Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,165
How do you even get liquid Nembutal? I mean I have SN and I will take it if I have to but I would certainly give business to a Nembutal supplier if there is any. PM me if you know anybody reliable. Thanks! I live in the UK btw
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Unsure and Useless
Replies
0
Views
137
Suicide Discussion
Unsure and Useless
Unsure and Useless
angelicat
  • Question
Replies
2
Views
171
Suicide Discussion
angelicat
angelicat
cringebutfree
Replies
59
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
isolatedl111
isolatedl111