Method Goodbye, and Thank You For Everything

[dexdbxtchthewxtch]

So beautifully put. Rest in Peace; the world sure got a little darker today.

 

[lordfungington]

(or, "Tuonetar_ Returns to the Underworld")

Well everyone, tonight is the night that I finally catch my bus. In a few hours, I will be drinking my SN, purchased from DMC.

First of all, let me start out by saying that this choice was mine and mine alone to make, and it was only done after years of research and deliberation. This was not a decision made on impulse, or as the result of inebriation, mania, or psychosis--this is what I, as an individual, want. For that reason, I would ask that no one use this thread to attempt to find sources for SN or any of the medications I have chosen to take. I cannot in good conscience recommend or encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps, so all the substances mentioned in this post will have to be sourced via your own initiative.

I have included my protocol below:

Spoiler: SN Protocol

Jan 13th, 2025:

• 06:00: 10mg domperidone (Domton brand), x1
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 19:00: Eat final dinner

Jan 14th, 2025 (today):

• 00:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 06:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
  • Eat light breakfast; begin solid food fast afterwards
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 22:00: Begin liquid fast

Jan 15th, 2025:

• 00:00: Smoke last cigarette
• 00:15: 40mg propranolol (Ciplar-40 brand), x10
• 00:30: 10 mg domperidone, x30
  • 500mg acetaminophen (Tylenol brand), x1
• 00:50: Dissolve 25mg of sodium nitrite in 50mL of spring water, x2
• 01:00: Drink sodium nitrite and lay down

Like everyone else, my reasons for choosing to commit suicide are complicated. But simply put I am tired of life and being a human being. I have sincerely tried my hardest to be sociable, successful, and happy, but unfortunately life has twisted and contorted me until there was nothing left to give. I am chronically exhausted and unhappy, I have no desire to continue experiencing life, and I am very much at peace with my own mortality. For years I have felt that the light inside me was extinguished long ago, and I have survived on the final wisps of smoke. But now the wisps of smoke are gone, the light is fully vanquished, and I am ready to sleep forever.

This should not be considered a sad post, however. All things considered, I lived a good life--I achieved a lot of things in my career that I'm really proud of, I lived independently, I fell in love, I went to concerts, I traveled the country, I ate a lot of good food and drank a lot of good beer, and I met many wonderful people and had a lot of laughs on the way. I loved reading, writing, cooking, baking, and the color red. I ate my last dinner at my favorite Lebanese restaurant and I spent my last day working alongside people I really like. It was a good ride, but it's time for me to step off.

I need to finish writing my goodbye letters, so I'll leave with this: thank you. This community has been wonderful to me, and was one of the only places I could truly be myself in my final days. If I hadn't found this site a few months ago I would've overdosed with a random concoction of psychiatric medications and ended up very much alive in the hospital but with permanent liver damage. Because of this site I am able to die on with dignity, on my own terms, and in my own home. Thank you all for everything There is no hate in my heart, only love.

I will stay here and update for as long as a I can, but I am intentionally letting my laptop's battery drain so it will (hopefully) die alongside me. (I'm running this site in incognito mode on a purged laptop)

i wish you the best. hope you find the peace you seek.

 

[human909]

Good luck and hope you find peace

 

[APeacefulPlace]

" Last seen 8 hours ago " Hope you're resting peacefully now, a little candle lights for you.

 

[maniac116]

 

[nyapoka]

wherever you are in this universe now I hope it is beautiful
sweet dreams

 

[kittyiscool]

(or, "Tuonetar_ Returns to the Underworld")

Well everyone, tonight is the night that I finally catch my bus. In a few hours, I will be drinking my SN, purchased from DMC.

First of all, let me start out by saying that this choice was mine and mine alone to make, and it was only done after years of research and deliberation. This was not a decision made on impulse, or as the result of inebriation, mania, or psychosis--this is what I, as an individual, want. For that reason, I would ask that no one use this thread to attempt to find sources for SN or any of the medications I have chosen to take. I cannot in good conscience recommend or encourage anyone to follow in my footsteps, so all the substances mentioned in this post will have to be sourced via your own initiative.

I have included my protocol below:

Spoiler: SN Protocol

Jan 13th, 2025:

• 06:00: 10mg domperidone (Domton brand), x1
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 19:00: Eat final dinner

Jan 14th, 2025 (today):

• 00:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 06:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
  • Eat light breakfast; begin solid food fast afterwards
• 12:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 18:00: 10mg domperidone, x1
• 22:00: Begin liquid fast

Jan 15th, 2025:

• 00:00: Smoke last cigarette
• 00:15: 40mg propranolol (Ciplar-40 brand), x10
• 00:30: 10 mg domperidone, x30
  • 500mg acetaminophen (Tylenol brand), x1
• 00:50: Dissolve 25mg of sodium nitrite in 50mL of spring water, x2
• 01:00: Drink sodium nitrite and lay down

Like everyone else, my reasons for choosing to commit suicide are complicated. But simply put I am tired of life and being a human being. I have sincerely tried my hardest to be sociable, successful, and happy, but unfortunately life has twisted and contorted me until there was nothing left to give. I am chronically exhausted and unhappy, I have no desire to continue experiencing life, and I am very much at peace with my own mortality. For years I have felt that the light inside me was extinguished long ago, and I have survived on the final wisps of smoke. But now the wisps of smoke are gone, the light is fully vanquished, and I am ready to sleep forever.

This should not be considered a sad post, however. All things considered, I lived a good life--I achieved a lot of things in my career that I'm really proud of, I lived independently, I fell in love, I went to concerts, I traveled the country, I ate a lot of good food and drank a lot of good beer, and I met many wonderful people and had a lot of laughs on the way. I loved reading, writing, cooking, baking, and the color red. I ate my last dinner at my favorite Lebanese restaurant and I spent my last day working alongside people I really like. It was a good ride, but it's time for me to step off.

I need to finish writing my goodbye letters, so I'll leave with this: thank you. This community has been wonderful to me, and was one of the only places I could truly be myself in my final days. If I hadn't found this site a few months ago I would've overdosed with a random concoction of psychiatric medications and ended up very much alive in the hospital but with permanent liver damage. Because of this site I am able to die on with dignity, on my own terms, and in my own home. Thank you all for everything There is no hate in my heart, only love.

I will stay here and update for as long as a I can, but I am intentionally letting my laptop's battery drain so it will (hopefully) die alongside me. (I'm running this site in incognito mode on a purged laptop)

Reading your accomplishments made me smile. I'm happy you feel content with your life, best of luck to you, sleep peacefully.

 

[danny10]

Rest well, friend...

 

[HelloDarkness25]

I hope you found eternal peace

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

A life well lived. Wishing you peace

 

[pixi]

this was beautifully written. i hope you're in a better place.

 

[haggis]

I hope you found your peace

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I guess he's gone, RIP, hope you're in a better place

 

[Hahem]

Rest in peace

 

[needthebus]

It was a beautiful post about why you decided to leave. I'm so sorry things had gotten hard but it sounds like you experienced a beautiful life at times. I'm sorry I didn't read this until now. Hugs for the friend I never met. <3 I hope you are at peace. :'-/

 

[Minus]

While, as many others, I did not know you I wish you a restful sleep. While we know not what comes after, I hope it is peacful.

 

[selfsabotagequeen]

such a beautifully put explanation of your life. i am glad you got to experience life's joys. it says you were last seen on wednesday at 8:14am. i truly hope you are in a better place, you sound so lovely and i hope wherever you are your light returns. im tearing up for someone ive never even spoken to. so much love, rest in eternal peace.