goodbye <3

[NocturnILL]

I am so sorry you've been hurting like this. Your kind spirit deserves all the rest you can find. We have had a brief interaction and you've made my heart warm, thank you again. I can only hope that the rest of your day here goes exactly, or better, as you planned. The beach is a beautiful place to be with the wind. As a painter I think painting your final canvas's is an amazing way to express your love with a goodbye. I'd also love to see them (no pressure!). I hope you find your peace and are reunited with your person, even if brief. May your travels be as smooth as the water
If for any reasons you are still here, my PMs are open to you.

 

[hi-okbye]

I understand you, I lost my partner recently too. We were both young and still had many plans. I think it's the worst thing that can happen in life, worse then dying yourself.
I wish you the best and that you might be reunited.
P.S. if you change your mind tonight feel free to PM me. I find it difficult myself to find people who fully understand the situation.

thank you for your offer <3
and i'm so so sorry for your loss. i felt your words exactly. the pain of losing them so early. because you had so many memories to make and you'll never get to. thank you for you kind words <3

what drugs are you gonna use?
btw good luck, i wish i had the balls to ctb

from one of my old posts:
Hydrocodone Syrup- expired. ~100ml (not sure how much per ml)
Cyclobenzaprine - a few 10mg pills
Alcohol - 130 proof, ~100ml (+ maybe some beers and/or wine?)
i'm hoping that plus the cold water will work. thank you so much, i hope you find peace, weather living or dying <3

I am so sorry you've been hurting like this. Your kind spirit deserves all the rest you can find. We have had a brief interaction and you've made my heart warm, thank you again. I can only hope that the rest of your day here goes exactly, or better, as you planned. The beach is a beautiful place to be with the wind. As a painter I think painting your final canvas's is an amazing way to express your love with a goodbye. I'd also love to see them (no pressure!). I hope you find your peace and are reunited with your person, even if brief. May your travels be as smooth as the water
If for any reasons you are still here, my PMs are open to you.

thank you so much for your kind words <33 and thank you for your offer as well i appreciate it a lot. i will try to show pictures of my paintings, i finished two so far. they're miniature canvases, but sometimes that makes it even harder.

you guys are so sweet you make me tear up thank you so much

upade:
i have to eat diner unfortunately, but i don't think it should effect the drugs too much. one way or another they will still probably work. i went on a bike ride with my mom, and it was amazing. we watched the sunset together it was beautiful.
the sky was so gorgeous. sometimes i ask my partner to make the sky a color, and it usually pops up. if that's him or not, i don't know, but i like to believe it is sometimes.
the camera can't even capture how pretty it was, but it did try.

 

[SmollMushroom]

Goodbye, I hope everything goes well. I wish you a peaceful and smooth journey.
I've always liked the beach too. I was planning to leave a last will note before I ctb, where I ask to be cremated and have my ashes spread on a beach in particular.
In any case, I wish you the best

 

[cloudymoon]

the sky is really lovely. seems like a nice, peaceful day to go.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

That sounds like a peaceful way to go, I hope you feel little discomfort and feel peace. Please show us your painting if you feel like it

 

[hi-okbye]

Goodbye, I hope everything goes well. I wish you a peaceful and smooth journey.
I've always liked the beach too. I was planning to leave a last will note before I ctb, where I ask to be cremated and have my ashes spread on a beach in particular.
In any case, I wish you the best

thank you <3. yes i've always been fond of the beach, and the nighttime. they're so peaceful. i think that's a beautiful way to leave, i hope you get that :)

That sounds like a peaceful way to go, I hope you feel little discomfort and feel peace. Please show us your painting if you feel like it

thank you for your wishes <3

the sky is really lovely. seems like a nice, peaceful day to go.

thank you, yes. it was a beautiful and cold day out, so it's perfect :)

 

[NoFutureAnymore]

thank you for your offer <3
and i'm so so sorry for your loss. i felt your words exactly. the pain of losing them so early. because you had so many memories to make and you'll never get to. thank you for you kind words <3

And you'll never get to... exactly I can't imagine how to continue with these plans alone.
Thank you for your kind words too.

 

[Raindancer]

I am sorry for your loss and understand that emptiness. I am leaning towards cold water myself. I wish you peace above all else.

 

[hi-okbye]

well, here are the long awaited paintings. it's supprizingly hard to do miniature paintings. they're not that great, but i hope you guys like them :)

 

[Heading to Darkness]

hii!

finally. this is my goodbye thread. my method: go to the beach at the middle of the night, take some drugs (i've listed them in the past), then just wait in the water. either i'll pass out and drown, or i'll pass out and die of hyperthermia, that water is freezing. i've wanted to do this for years, and i really hope this is it.

i'll be active until around 9-10pm (EST). Then i'll probably say bye one last time before i go.

i've always felt some type of calling from the beach. i love that place, and i've always hoped it would be where i would pass, i find it very peaceful and mesmerizing.

i would also like to thank everyone here. without you guys i wouldn't be able to make it, thank you for everything you guys have provided.
mods, i guess if i don't come back in 4 days, you can cross my account out.

thank you everyone <3

- Lra

will miss you i share your feeling about the beach, the sea the waves the solitude

 

[Raindancer]

Beautiful, they will treasure them!

 

[tiger b]

well, here are the long awaited paintings. it's supprizingly hard to do miniature paintings. they're not that great, but i hope you guys like them :)


View attachment 122712

They're awesome. What a talent to have.

 

[hi-okbye]

will miss you i share your feeling about the beach, the sea the waves the solitude

thank you

Beautiful, they will treasure them!

aw thank you :) <3

They're awesome. What a talent to have.

thank you so much <3

 

[scummvi]

sending love <3

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

These paintings are beautiful! Thank you for sharing. And thanks for your check-in thread last night. It was a wonderful example of the compassion and support of this community. I'm happy our paths crossed. I hope your swim is peaceful.

 

[hi-okbye]

sending love <3

thank you, sending it back aswell <3

These paintings are beautiful! Thank you for sharing. And thanks for your check-in thread last night. It was a wonderful example of the compassion and support of this community. I'm happy our paths crossed. I hope your swim is peaceful.

thank you so much :')
i'm happy our paths crossed as well. sending much love

 

[Weltall]

well, here are the long awaited paintings. it's supprizingly hard to do miniature paintings. they're not that great, but i hope you guys like them :)


View attachment 122712

I really like the night sky one!
It's very calming, as it looks peaceful.
The moon kinda nestles into the cloud like a beanbag.

Please make sure you've considered all options presented.
No matter what happens, we just want you to be happy.

 

[plurkid]

well, here are the long awaited paintings. it's supprizingly hard to do miniature paintings. they're not that great, but i hope you guys like them :)


View attachment 122712

This is amazing. Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry it came to this but thank you for bringing a little light to our lives before your farewell, good luck

 

[hi-okbye]

I really like the night sky one!
It's very calming, as it looks peaceful.
The moon kinda nestles into the cloud like a beanbag.

Please make sure you've considered all options presented to.
No matter what happens, we just want you to be happy.

thank you so much :)
yes, i've made sure, and i'm ready. hopefully soon i will be smiling down above all of you finally at peace <3

This is amazing. Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry it came to this but thank you for bringing a little light to our lives before your farewell, good luck

thank you so much <333


all of you guys, your word mean so much to me on this day thank you

 

[Kurai]

Wish you the best, and safe travels also your paintings are beautiful

 

[hi-okbye]

song i'm listening to right now. one of my favorite's, ironically

Wish you the best, and safe travels also your paintings are beautiful

thank you so much <33





final update i think:

the time is approaching. it's a bit scary, but very comforting. i know my baby will be there, sometimes i almost feel him around.
today has been a good day. better than most honestly. all of my "last days" always have this somewhat happy-neutral undertone to them. I got most of what I wanted done today. I woke up, had my breakfast (a yogurt, a banana, and some raspberries) took a very long relaxing shower. Then I called my one close last friend. I plan on calling her again a little later, for a final goodbye. Had lunch (pizza), then I started my paintings. My mom came home and i took a wonderful bike ride with her. I came home, had some homemade chicken soup for diner, and finished my paintings. I will listen to some music and call my friend for the rest of today. I don't think i will respond anymore, but i will look at the responses until i leave.
I would like to thank everyone one last time. Your words have truly warmed my heart and showed me so much love. I can never thank you enough.

goodbye everyone
(my last view tonight)



- Lra<3

 

[NocturnILL]

thank you so much for your kind words <33 and thank you for your offer as well i appreciate it a lot. i will try to show pictures of my paintings, i finished two so far. they're miniature canvases, but sometimes that makes it even harder.

you guys are so sweet you make me tear up thank you so much

upade:
i have to eat diner unfortunately, but i don't think it should effect the drugs too much. one way or another they will still probably work. i went on a bike ride with my mom, and it was amazing. we watched the sunset together it was beautiful.
the sky was so gorgeous. sometimes i ask my partner to make the sky a color, and it usually pops up. if that's him or not, i don't know, but i like to believe it is sometimes.
the camera can't even capture how pretty it was, but it did try.
View attachment 122711

well, here are the long awaited paintings. it's supprizingly hard to do miniature paintings. they're not that great, but i hope you guys like them :)


View attachment 122712

Camera did amazing, it's absolutely stunning. I'm so happy you and your mom could go bike riding and watch the sunset together. It will definitely bring a new meaning to sunsets for her.
I believe it's your partner too. It's beautiful to believe he was there watching the sunset with you and her
Your paintings are beautiful, I love how all the colors you used are also in the picture you took of the sunset. Looks like all the clouds are moving in the same direction too. Thank you for sharing this with us

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I liked your paintings.
I'm sorry that you lost your loved one. But if, if you still have even a little hope to live... there are a lot of good people here who could at least support. If you're still reading this...
I understand that you dreamed of such a method...
I wish you all the best.

 

[CarlGrimes]

hii!

finally. this is my goodbye thread. my method: go to the beach at the middle of the night, take some drugs (i've listed them in the past), then just wait in the water. either i'll pass out and drown, or i'll pass out and die of hyperthermia, that water is freezing. i've wanted to do this for years, and i really hope this is it.

i'll be active until around 9-10pm (EST). Then i'll probably say bye one last time before i go.

i've always felt some type of calling from the beach. i love that place, and i've always hoped it would be where i would pass, i find it very peaceful and mesmerizing.

i would also like to thank everyone here. without you guys i wouldn't be able to make it, thank you for everything you guys have provided.
mods, i guess if i don't come back in 4 days, you can cross my account out.

thank you everyone <3

- Lra

For just the few second I've read this you seem like a cool individual, I hope your journey ends well and you ho put peacefully <33333 I wish you luck in the next lif if you do believe in it. Goodbyes aren't always such a bad thing what you are doing is a beautiful thing. I wish you your peace and hope go peaceful <3. From Carl

 

[wanttodie]

good luck

 

[hi-okbye]

update :/

i'm still here. last night my friend texted my mom. nothing specific, just saying to check up on me and to see if i was okay. luckily i hadn't done anything by then. i was still planing to do it later when she fell asleep, but i ended up falling asleep as well. i woke up at 2:30a.m., and considered doing it again. then i realized i was just too tired, and i didn't want to mess something up. luckily though, last night i had a great idea. I live by the beach, so it's right behind my backyard, i can easily go there. but one to two blocks down from my house, there's a pond/lake. I considered it and i think i'm going to do it there now. the main worry i had with the beach was that my body would wash away, i'm not sure why i cared, but i wanted them to be able to find my body at some point. in the lake it will be better, so they will eventually find it, especially after they find the bottles near the lake. hopefully i will be gone by the time they find me though, i'm pretty sure i will. the police have searched for me before, and it's taken up to about 2 hours for them to find me, least 30 minutes, and that's just when i'm on land, in my neighborhood. in the water i will have enough time.
for today, i don't think i'm doing anything super special. i've run out of energy, i'm kinda upset yesterday didn't end up how i wanted it to. i was hesitant to make this post today, i'm disappointed :(
I'm gonna go out and do some things with my mom. go to this new sushi place we've been wanting to go to, and going to a cat shelter together. maybe i'll even bike with her again if i have the energy. i'm going to take a long nap at the end of today, just to make sure i have the energy to go through with it tonight.
i'm sorry i wasn't able to get it done yesterday. i would still like to thank all of you for the continuous support you guys have shown me.

i'll update later. much love

 

[absolutelyyou]

Hey I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. The time wasn't quite right and thats ok- I know you're disappointed but when the right moment comes you will know. I'm sending you good thoughts, energy, and clarity. You have an extra chance to make sure any loose ends are tied up, give a couple extra tight hugs, maybe experience a few more peaceful sights like another incredible sunset. As much as it ruined your plan your friend was just doing what they thought was best from the perspective of someone that cant fully understand the pain you are struggling with. I'll be holding space for you in my heart today that you are able to find and know peace in whatever you end up doing. As an aside, since I didn't get to say it yesterday- your art is beautiful and deeply meaningful. Those tiny canvases can be a pain to get any real detail in and you did a lovely job, were I to see them sold as a set in an art gallery I'd have wanted to buy them. As someone who likes making art to another person who seems to like to make art- I will be sad to see your talent leave this world but your peace is more important. I just hope you send us some lovely sunsets with your partner if you end up leaving us in the end <3

 

[Foxykaavn]

Hope you find your peace

 

[-w-]

update :/

i'm still here. last night my friend texted my mom. nothing specific, just saying to check up on me and to see if i was okay. luckily i hadn't done anything by then. i was still planing to do it later when she fell asleep, but i ended up falling asleep as well. i woke up at 2:30a.m., and considered doing it again. then i realized i was just too tired, and i didn't want to mess something up. luckily though, last night i had a great idea. I live by the beach, so it's right behind my backyard, i can easily go there. but one to two blocks down from my house, there's a pond/lake. I considered it and i think i'm going to do it there now. the main worry i had with the beach was that my body would wash away, i'm not sure why i cared, but i wanted them to be able to find my body at some point. in the lake it will be better, so they will eventually find it, especially after they find the bottles near the lake. hopefully i will be gone by the time they find me though, i'm pretty sure i will. the police have searched for me before, and it's taken up to about 2 hours for them to find me, least 30 minutes, and that's just when i'm on land, in my neighborhood. in the water i will have enough time.
for today, i don't think i'm doing anything super special. i've run out of energy, i'm kinda upset yesterday didn't end up how i wanted it to. i was hesitant to make this post today, i'm disappointed :(
I'm gonna go out and do some things with my mom. go to this new sushi place we've been wanting to go to, and going to a cat shelter together. maybe i'll even bike with her again if i have the energy. i'm going to take a long nap at the end of today, just to make sure i have the energy to go through with it tonight.
i'm sorry i wasn't able to get it done yesterday. i would still like to thank all of you for the continuous support you guys have shown me.

i'll update later. much love

Hey maybe you could even get a cat from that shelter. Cats always make me feel better. :)

 

[Foxykaavn]

Goodbye may you have a safe journey. Hoping to join you soon on the other side