Gonna go out looking for fent again during my 1hr lunch break

[KatalinaKrimson]

I keep making the mistake of talking to my friends when I'm feeling a lot of pain and suicidal ideation. And because of that mistake, my stash of fentanyl wound up getting flushed down the drain twice. AND they texted my plug telling him that I was suicidal, and that he could catch a manslaughter charge if I died on his stuff.

So I'll need to either find a new plug, or get somebody else to buy the fent for me. Thankfully, there is this one desperate guy on a dating app who messages me all the time. He already told me he could get me a gun, but I'd rather get him to get me the fent instead. Hopefully he's brave enough to do that and won't chicken out if I asked.

From now on, I made the decision I will not talk to ANY of my loved ones about my suicidal ideation. But I still don't know what I should say if my friends are like "Hey, how have you been?" I don't feel good lying to them. Maybe I can just say something like "I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

 

[chillino]

Maybe you dont abuse someone else to buy you your death weapon. That will damage that person deeply.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

He only knows me from a dating app. He won't even find out I died.
From his perspective, I just stopped going on the app.
Will I get in trouble for saying that I'm not really super concerned with hurting the feelings of random strangers? I already have enough guilt over hurting all my loved ones who I care about. My need to die is outweighing all of that already. I'm fucking tired of the pain and self-hatred.

 

[thenamesgoon]

He only knows me from a dating app. He won't even find out I died.
From his perspective, I just stopped going on the app.
Will I get in trouble for saying that I'm not really super concerned with hurting the feelings of random strangers? I already have enough guilt over hurting all my loved ones who I care about. My need to die is outweighing all of that already. I'm fucking tired of the pain and self-hatred.

"Hey, could you, by any chance get me a lethal dose of fentanyl, and or a gun?" sounds rather suspicious, especially if you suddenly go offline
it's understandable to not care about how much pain you inflict on others, but that doesn't mean you should go out of your way to rope others into it..
Just find a new plug, or buy a gun yourself