I've been back and forth from couch surfing and unsheltered since 2024 and I'm just so done with it all.
I've lived with several people and it always comes down to them not wanting to deal with me because of how disabled I am. I'm with my grandma right now and my papa said I have til June to fimd somewhere to go. Mostly because I can't do things around the house and my grandma keeps thinking im stealing her cigarettes. She just forgets that she smoked them due to her stroke last year but you can't tell her nothing once shes decided something is true. She also says it's my fault they have no food in the house. I spend usually less than 1/3 of my EBT card and give them the rest and other than dinner time I'm only eating ramen š«© but on top of all that she's been talking bad abt me to the rest of our family and her children love to lie. So I'm just sitting here already suicidal listening to my whole family talk about how horrible I am and how much kf a disappointment I am for not doing anything with my life. Now I have til June but the shelter I was planning on going to cause its the most wheelchair accessible out of all the ones ive been to will no longer let me stay there because of my wheelchair even though I stayed there for 9months last year. But a ton of shelters won't let wheelchair users in or if they do they aren't accessable or they're completely full. So now I have literally nowhere to go and I can only wheel myself about a block before my hands and arms start locking up in unnatural positions. I'm so fucking done with everything. Part of me wants to just disappear without identification and die and another part of me wants to call everyone out on all their shit and tell all their secrets I've kept before I ctb. I think I'm gonna just disappear tho because whats the point. I'm also worried because the only method I have available is a yew tree in my grandma's front yard. Ive been drying and powdering it to put in gel caps but I'm worried it won't work and I'll just be out of it on the street. The other one I was considering is just drinking a fuck ton of electrolytes but that doesn't seem comfortable or very certain.
If anybody has any ideas for any methods I can ctb with off of ebt that'd be great
I've lived with several people and it always comes down to them not wanting to deal with me because of how disabled I am. I'm with my grandma right now and my papa said I have til June to fimd somewhere to go. Mostly because I can't do things around the house and my grandma keeps thinking im stealing her cigarettes. She just forgets that she smoked them due to her stroke last year but you can't tell her nothing once shes decided something is true. She also says it's my fault they have no food in the house. I spend usually less than 1/3 of my EBT card and give them the rest and other than dinner time I'm only eating ramen š«© but on top of all that she's been talking bad abt me to the rest of our family and her children love to lie. So I'm just sitting here already suicidal listening to my whole family talk about how horrible I am and how much kf a disappointment I am for not doing anything with my life. Now I have til June but the shelter I was planning on going to cause its the most wheelchair accessible out of all the ones ive been to will no longer let me stay there because of my wheelchair even though I stayed there for 9months last year. But a ton of shelters won't let wheelchair users in or if they do they aren't accessable or they're completely full. So now I have literally nowhere to go and I can only wheel myself about a block before my hands and arms start locking up in unnatural positions. I'm so fucking done with everything. Part of me wants to just disappear without identification and die and another part of me wants to call everyone out on all their shit and tell all their secrets I've kept before I ctb. I think I'm gonna just disappear tho because whats the point. I'm also worried because the only method I have available is a yew tree in my grandma's front yard. Ive been drying and powdering it to put in gel caps but I'm worried it won't work and I'll just be out of it on the street. The other one I was considering is just drinking a fuck ton of electrolytes but that doesn't seem comfortable or very certain.
If anybody has any ideas for any methods I can ctb with off of ebt that'd be great
