Going to psych ward, still planning ctb

[antilife]

I ordered equipment to ctb but its gonna take months before I can finally use it. I'm feeling so unwell knowing that it is there even though I 100 % want to die. It's like survival instinct is already kicking in only because the stuff is there which sucks balls. I'm going to the psychiatric clinic tomorrow just because I need to be fed I can't take care of myself at all and so that maybe I will feel better so that I can spend my last time in a good way before I go. Otherwise it's not possible because my depression is too severe. I know that I'm still going to be the same person who has a blank mind and can't talk to people which is not going to change even with meds. This is my main reason for wanting to die. I hate myself so much. Hope my plan works out in the end

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans and I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.

 

[LonelyKitten]

I wish you the best of luck to find peace.
I know how painful it is to have to live as someone whose thoughts are blank, unable to communicate and connect with others (whose contact is needed to get better...)

Hopefully they treat you well in there - have you been before?