Help Going to hang in 2 days, is my setup alright?

[noiloone]

The rope is 8mm, polyester braided and 10m long. I've used a light cotton cloth to reduce any potential friction. Also, I've gone for a noose knot instead of a hangman because I felt like it constricts better.

Here is the bowtie knot for securing the rope to the anchor:



First of all, are there any issues (however minor) with my setup; the rope, the knots or the cloth?

Secondly, must I go for FSH, or partial (tied to the window grid)? If the latter, must I tie it up high (with my feet barely touching the ground), or low (kneeling down forward)? I surely won't be discovered at least for half an hour.

Earlier on today, I attempted pulling the rope above my head with my right hand, and I seemed to feel light-headed and my vision blurring before 10s. As for pain mitigation, these are the ways I found:

(i) Never try to swallow your saliva. Either do it before the rope tightens, or try to spit it away. Swallowing is quite painful with the rope constricted because of how the Adam's apple moves up, thereby getting squeezed under the pressure.

(ii) Always try to get your heart-rate to relax, ventilating well and inhaling strongly before tightening the rope. I've found that practising ways to hold your breath for longer helps a lot.

It's my first (and hopefully the last) time attempting suicide. It's an entirely rational decision with no impulsive emotions involved. Everything that happened today was methodological and maybe even ever so slightly blissful.

I would appreciate more suggestions (to increase effectiveness / reduce discomfort) before I leave in around 50 hours. Thanks!

PS; I weigh just about 50kg, quite skinny. Does my weight decrease the chance of me passing out soon due to reduced pressure?

 

[Cepheuss]

Yup rope and knots look good but i would recommend arbor and anchor hitch but whatever suits you :)
if fsh is available definitely go with that partial is risky, do u have photos of an anchor point for fsh?

 

[noiloone]

Yup rope and knots look good but i would recommend arbor and anchor hitch but whatever suits you :)
if fsh is available definitely go with that partial is risky, do u have photos of an anchor point for fsh?

Thank you. I'll go for a buntline hitch for the neck and an anchor hitch for the anchor just to be on the safer side. Here is the anchor point I've decided on:



That's in case I'm going for FSH. For partial, I'll most prolly use a window grid. I, for the life of me, can't make a choice between the two. FSH seems to have a higher rate of mechanical failure. What's the best bet at PSH?

 

[cursedlife]

Yup rope and knots look good but i would recommend arbor and anchor hitch but whatever suits you :)
if fsh is available definitely go with that partial is risky, do u have photos of an anchor point for fsh?

should I use the arbor knot for the noose or for the anchor point I'm confused , I also want to end it in the near future

 

[noiloone]

should I use the arbor knot for the noose or for the anchor point I'm confused , I also want to end it in the near future

Do not use an arbor knot for the noose; it constricts poorly. Either use a regular noose knot (best for practice) or a buntline hitch (constricts hard; harder to untie, not recommended for practice). As for the anchor, if it's high up, a bowline would be the best deal, the only issue being it doesn't constrict, thereby causing more motion. If the anchor is reachable, better go for an anchor hitch.

Better verify these facts as I'm quite new to this. Btw, have you tried practising blacking out (or getting near that point) or anything like that before the actual deal? Also, I'm curious about your rope/anchor.

Yup rope and knots look good but i would recommend arbor and anchor hitch but whatever suits you :)
if fsh is available definitely go with that partial is risky, do u have photos of an anchor point for fsh?

What about the cloth? Does it take longer to pass out with a cloth padding around the neck?

 

[babyneo1]

I can't find a place where it will hold my weight

 

[noiloone]

I can't find a place where it will hold my weight

I wonder how good a window grid is, if at all your windows have it? Have you heard of the door-dumbbell method?

 

[babyneo1]

I wonder how good a window grid is, if at all your windows have it? Have you heard of the door-dumbbell method?

I heard on the website, my weight is around 95-97kg. If I put all my weight most things will break

 

[noiloone]

I heard on the website, my weight is around 95-97kg. If I put all my weight most things will break

I wonder if partial suits heavier people better since FSH would be an overkill above 80kg? Depends on the neck fat. Not sure.

Yup rope and knots look good but i would recommend arbor and anchor hitch but whatever suits you :)
if fsh is available definitely go with that partial is risky, do u have photos of an anchor point for fsh?

Oops; the rope I bought seems to have a cotton interior with only the exterior being made of braided polyester. Only realized after burning a portion of it. Now this means a max safe limit of 50kg (just 2kg more than mine). Would it be wiser to go with PSH at this point?

 

[babyneo1]

Any tips where to partial inside the room where the 95kg will hold? Or just in general where it could be done

I wonder if partial suits heavier people better since FSH would be an overkill above 80kg? Depends on the neck fat. Not sure.

Oops; the rope I bought seems to have a cotton interior with only the exterior being made of braided polyester. Only realized after burning a portion of it. Now this means a max safe limit of 50kg (just 2kg more than mine). Would it be wiser to go with PSH at this point?

 

[Cepheuss]

should I use the arbor knot for the noose or for the anchor point I'm confused , I also want to end it in the near future

Arbor for noose anchor hitch for anchor point

Do not use an arbor knot for the noose; it constricts poorly. Either use a regular noose knot (best for practice) or a buntline hitch (constricts hard; harder to untie, not recommended for practice). As for the anchor, if it's high up, a bowline would be the best deal, the only issue being it doesn't constrict, thereby causing more motion. If the anchor is reachable, better go for an anchor hitch.

Better verify these facts as I'm quite new to this. Btw, have you tried practising blacking out (or getting near that point) or anything like that before the actual deal? Also, I'm curious about your rope/anchor.

What about the cloth? Does it take longer to pass out with a cloth padding around the neck?

Idk about that arbor nearly killed me i just messed up with something else in the setup i trust that knot but to each their own. For cloth it hasnt been tested enough so i cant say for certain personally im not using anyrhing in the way - if i was id use a bandana rather the a cloth but i just dont want another thing getting in the way

Thank you. I'll go for a buntline hitch for the neck and an anchor hitch for the anchor just to be on the safer side. Here is the anchor point I've decided on:

View attachment 200607View attachment 200608

That's in case I'm going for FSH. For partial, I'll most prolly use a window grid. I, for the life of me, can't make a choice between the two. FSH seems to have a higher rate of mechanical failure. What's the best bet at PSH?

Anchor looks pretty solid id definitely choose fsh over psh its got a way bigger success rate and that anchor seems stronger then a window grid but at the end of the day its your choice :)

 

[noiloone]

Arbor for noose anchor hitch for anchor point

Idk about that arbor nearly killed me i just messed up with something else in the setup i trust that knot but to each their own. For cloth it hasnt been tested enough so i cant say for certain personally im not using anyrhing in the way - if i was id use a bandana rather the a cloth but i just dont want another thing getting in the way

Anchor looks pretty solid id definitely choose fsh over psh its got a way bigger success rate and that anchor seems stronger then a window grid but at the end of the day its your choice :)

Thanks! I'll be off in around a day. Never been so ecstatic before...

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Thanks! I'll be off in around a day. Never been so ecstatic before...

You feel like that rope you got is good enough?, I might get one like yours

Also, did you find your sweet spot?

 

[noiloone]

You feel like that rope you got is good enough?, I might get one like yours

Also, did you find your sweet spot?

Yup, only if the core is braided synthetic (poly/nylon) too. As for the anchor:



Doesn't budge a bit when I hang my 48kg on it.

 

[noiloone]

Goodbye everyone!

 

[tannhausers]

Goodbye everyone!

Let me know if you alive

And if you can, tell me how it went and how you felt

 

[noiloone]

Let me know if you alive

And if you can, tell me how it went and how you felt

Hospitalized, discharged today. No brain damage thankfully.

PSH with my toes grazing the floor with the same setup as above (except I used two nooses at the same level and radius just to prevent mechanical failure). Used a cloth padding, held my breath and put a small piece of cloth to absorb spit (and to quieten), while not trying not to move my larynx (to swallow/vocalize). Physically, I did not feel any sort of discomfort except for my brain shutting down. Vision was the first to warp (within the first 5s), and then a persistent high-pitched hum in my ears was when I knew for sure my body was going limp. Adrenaline and SI were terribly high, but I was able to fight it with sheer willpower and faint in less than 10s. Mentally, the last few seconds felt terrible, like a deep, deep longing to live, a craving to reincarnate than fade to thoughtlessness. I had never even remotely felt such a thing whilst practising. That's the Amygdala I suppose...

I did it in the terrace (the anchor which I had linked previously) at night, but got spotted by a neighbour below. My dad was called, the rope was cut, and I was rushed to a hospital. Waking up felt very disorienting, but somehow I felt relieved of being pulled out of a world of gray. Thankfully, neither my brain nor my throat (not even a permanent scar thanks to partial) were damaged.

And finally, was able to muster the courage to tell dad about my cfs (an invisible illness; relentless fatigue, aches, brain fog/inflammation, whilst to the society I seemed stupid and lazy). Even though there isn't a cure so as to say, I'll hopefully get diagnosed officially for accomodations. I feel more confident now.

Never, ever going to attempt that again...

 

[thehorizons]

Hospitalized, discharged today. No brain damage thankfully.

PSH with my toes grazing the floor with the same setup as above (except I used two nooses at the same level and radius just to prevent mechanical failure). Used a cloth padding, held my breath and put a small piece of cloth to absorb spit (and to quieten), while not trying not to move my larynx (to swallow/vocalize). Physically, I did not feel any sort of discomfort except for my brain shutting down. Vision was the first to warp (within the first 5s), and then a persistent high-pitched hum in my ears was when I knew for sure I was gonna go limp. Adrenaline and SI were terribly high, but I was able fight it with sheer willpower and faint in less than 10s. Mentally, the last few seconds felt terrible, like a longing to live, a craving to believe I'll reincarnate than fade to thoughtlessness. I had never even remotely felt such a thing whilst practising.

I did it in the terrace (the anchor which I had linked previously) at night, but got spotted by a neighbour below. My dad was called, the rope was cut, and I was rushed to a hospital. Waking up felt very disorienting, but it felt like a marker to a new phase of living. Thankfully, neither my brain nor my throat (not even a persistent scar thanks to partial) were damaged.

Finally, was able to gather the courage to tell dad about my cfs (an invisible illness; relentless fatigue, aches, brain fog/inflammation, whilst the society called me lazy and dumb). Even though there isn't a cure so as to say, I'll hopefully get diagnosed officially for accomodations. I feel more confident now.

And never ever going to attempt again...

How were you even able to pass out that fast? I've being doing partial hanging while kneeling and using head as a literal deadweight. I just feel an exploding head feeling and the feeling like my eyes are going to explode. Sometimes (if I'm lucky) I get a warm feeling near my ears like I'm about to pass out. But that doesn't take 5–10 seconds at all. It takes longer, much longer.

Was the rope constricting on your neck really hard? I'm just trying and trying to diagnose the issue, but I can't get it to work. The rope has been constricting tight around my kneck many times, but I can't get it to work.

I'm losing my mind. I wanted to go this way, but I'll have to get Nitrogen gas now if it's going to be more effective despite it'll be incredibly difficult to get. Also, losing my mind because I have oral cancer, benzodiazepine-neurological dysfunction disorder, and my mom might have oral cancer as well.

 

[VegasLyra]

How were you even able to pass out that fast? I've being doing partial hanging while kneeling and using head as a literal deadweight. I just feel an exploding head feeling and the feeling like my eyes are going to explode. Sometimes (if I'm lucky) I get a warm feeling near my ears like I'm about to pass out. But that doesn't take 5–10 seconds at all. It takes longer, much longer.

Was the rope constricting on your neck really hard? I'm just trying and trying to diagnose the issue, but I can't get it to work. The rope has been constricting tight around my kneck many times, but I can't get it to work.

I'm losing my mind. I wanted to go this way, but I'll have to get Nitrogen gas now if it's going to be more effective despite it'll be incredibly difficult to get. Also, losing my mind because I have oral cancer, benzodiazepine-neurological dysfunction disorder, and my mom might have oral cancer as well.

The exploding head feeling comes from the jugular veins (the ones that take blood away from your brain) being blocked, but not the carotid arteries (the ones that bring oxygenated blood to your brain). Either you're not applying enough pressure (unlikely) or your positioning of the rope is off. I can't tell you exactly where it should be but (ONLY DO THIS IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH ACCIDENTALLY CTB) experimenting with different placements and kneeling down to apply pressure might help. That, or you can do it with your hands

 

[thehorizons]

The exploding head feeling comes from the jugular veins (the ones that take blood away from your brain) being blocked, but not the carotid arteries (the ones that bring oxygenated blood to your brain). Either you're not applying enough pressure (unlikely) or your positioning of the rope is off. I can't tell you exactly where it should be but (ONLY DO THIS IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH ACCIDENTALLY CTB) experimenting with different placements and kneeling down to apply pressure might help. That, or you can do it with your hands

I know it's from the jugular veins and it's not the carotid arteries. It's extremely hard to execute right, even when adjusting the noose and experimenting with it (e.g. knot right behind your and tightening the noose above your Adam's apple and just dropping your entire weight) . I've been constantly putting the noose around my neck and then using my head as deadweight for many days now. It's basically either a head exploding feeling with the feeling of my eyes feeling like they're going to pop out or some warmth around my ears, not to mention the sharp pain I feel when the noose is being tightened around my neck.

 

[VegasLyra]

I know it's from the jugular veins and it's not the carotid arteries. It's extremely hard to execute right, even when adjusting the noose and experimenting with it (e.g. knot right behind your and tightening the noose above your Adam's apple and just dropping your entire weight) . I've been constantly putting the noose around my neck and then using my head as deadweight for many days now. It's basically either a head exploding feeling with the feeling of my eyes feeling like they're going to pop out or some warmth around my ears, not to mention the sharp pain I feel when the noose is being tightened around my neck.

You might wanna look into another method if after trying different positions you still get that feeling. It's not at all normal; you're supposed to start feeling faint after a few seconds.

 

[thehorizons]

You might wanna look into another method if after trying different positions you still get that feeling. It's not at all normal; you're supposed to start feeling faint after a few seconds.

It is normal. There's a lot of people on here who can't get partial right. Their experience pretty matches up with mine.

 

[VegasLyra]

It is normal. There's a lot of people on here who can't get partial right. Their experience pretty matches up with mine.

Yeah I meant it isn't supposed to be like that if you're doing things correctly

 

[noiloone]

I know it's from the jugular veins and it's not the carotid arteries. It's extremely hard to execute right, even when adjusting the noose and experimenting with it (e.g. knot right behind your and tightening the noose above your Adam's apple and just dropping your entire weight) . I've been constantly putting the noose around my neck and then using my head as deadweight for many days now. It's basically either a head exploding feeling with the feeling of my eyes feeling like they're going to pop out or some warmth around my ears, not to mention the sharp pain I feel when the noose is being tightened around my neck.

Adding to what Vegas has said, make sure you use a constricting noose, positioning it symmetrically right at the middle of the nape. As for the front side, it should be as higher up as possible, above the SCM muscle (in the carotid triangle, as shown in the image). Cloth padding musn't be too thick (depending on your neck fat level). Be prepared to deal with SI. It's too primal to desensitize from, so the best hope is to override it; either cognitively (a strong rationale) or through potent emotions.

It is normal. There's a lot of people on here who can't get partial right. Their experience pretty matches up with mine.

Would you mind telling me the rope dimensions and about any potential padding you're using? If you have a window with a firm grid at a matching height, you can try PSH while standing, without even bending your head forward (what I tried). Trial n error, but you'll eventually find the right height.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

hey. i read that you failed this because someone noticed you and caught the rope, right?
but you think you would've been successful with it if that wasn't the case?
sorry if i missed some details in the comments, and hope you are ok despite it all

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Shit you almost did it, this is what im afraid of, being found, but i hope you're ok and that you're happy with whatever you choose next

I know it's from the jugular veins and it's not the carotid arteries. It's extremely hard to execute right, even when adjusting the noose and experimenting with it (e.g. knot right behind your and tightening the noose above your Adam's apple and just dropping your entire weight) . I've been constantly putting the noose around my neck and then using my head as deadweight for many days now. It's basically either a head exploding feeling with the feeling of my eyes feeling like they're going to pop out or some warmth around my ears, not to mention the sharp pain I feel when the noose is being tightened around my neck.

What I did was pushing myself forward and down, I had a pillow sheet under the rope too. After a few seconds I felt everything OP felt and had to stop since I was only testing it but I felt quite the adrenaline rush, shivers down my whole body and my hands felt weird afterwards

 

[mistysmile966]

I really wish we could get better. If only life wasn't so hard.

 

[noiloone]

hey. i read that you failed this because someone noticed you and caught the rope, right?
but you think you would've been successful with it if that wasn't the case?
sorry if i missed some details in the comments, and hope you are ok despite it all

Precisely. It was almost perfect, except I didn't expect the neighbour to have been watching me at night. I don't resent her though. I could've been dead by now had I gone for the window grid.

 

[if_i_make_it]

fellow cfs sufferer. just showing my support snd solidarity. i hope you have better outcomes in the future, whatever path you take.

 

[silentroom123]

Precisely. It was almost perfect, except I didn't expect the neighbour to have been watching me at night. I don't resent her though. I could've been dead by now had I gone for the window grid.

Can I ask what time in the night you attempted? Did you wait till like 3 am on a weekday like I'm going to do?