Going on an eternal holiday (thank you + goodbye)

[hahabye]

Just had the last video call with my mom. Feels so bad lying to her. She's so happy about my birthday tomorrow. :(

It feels incredibly weird just sitting there, waiting for the right time of the regimen to take my own life. Kittens are being great company though, love them to the moon and back.

 

[suicidesheep31]

I would feel weird as well. Like in between two spaces.

 

[hermes]

Just had the last video call with my mom. Feels so bad lying to her. She's so happy about my birthday tomorrow. :(

It feels incredibly weird just sitting there, waiting for the right time of the regimen to take my own life. Kittens are being great company though, love them to the moon and back.

Instead of happily celebrating daughter's birthday if your mother has to face the worst news of her life, It will hit her lot more than if it was a normal day. Probably Birthday was not the best choice to CTB.

My apologies if my comment hurts you/makes you more sad.

 

[suicidesheep31]

I send you love (not because you are a woman)

 

[hahabye]

I would feel weird as well. Like in between two spaces.

Yes, that's exactly how it feels! Like a part of me is just going to keep on living my "normal" life tomorrow

Instead of happily celebrating daughter's birthday if your mother has to face the worst news of her life, It will hit her lot more than if it was a normal day. Probably Birthday was not the best choice to CTB.

My apologies if my comment hurts you/makes you more sad.

It's okay, that might be the objective truth.

But my birthday has always been the most painful day (or week, or month) for me, I always go into the deepest depressive episode of the year. And my mom, due to her own childhood traumas, was never able to help me. She always expected me to go through it myself. I often felt pressuded to do it as soon as possible too. And this is in no way a revenge of some sorts, I'm just taking care of myself, as I was always expected to, in the best way I know how to.

I hope this comment doesn't seem insensitive of aggressive towards my mom, I know she's doing the best she can, all things considered. And I love her for that.

I send you love (not because you are a woman)

I appreciate that (not because you are a man (I assume) )

 

[MountKecske]

Everyone here seems cruel to me today, and not the affectionate community I was surprised to find here of all places. It's not a fantasy @hahabye "a part of you" won't be there tomorrow if you go through with this. This is just all so wrong, it might be me speaking after downing 2 bottles of wine but I also didn't sleep last 72 hours and searched treatments for my condition, yeah we're all gonna die in the end except like Elon Musk and his multimillionaire celebrity friends who'll survive the universe's collapse jumping into a black hole in a space Tesla, but again it's us who has to suffer? Just cuddle your kittens read a comforting story, I would recommend Carolyn Gage's plays. You will die in the end but maybe you'll have 3-5 days on the way where you'll forgt about everything and just enjoy the moment. No one deserves it more than you do. And well how many times in a year do you think of Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse or well Reneé Vivien if I have to ask myself. Yes life is meaningless, but this self-immolation is too if you think of it. Please read "The Absurd" by Thomas Nagel.

 

[suicidesheep31]

I appreciate that (not because you are a man (I assume) )

you would be surprised

 

[littlelungs]

Hey. I'm just popping in to wish you a safe and peaceful journey to your eternal holiday, if that's what you truly want.

I unfortunately never got the privilege to talk to you personally, but I enjoyed your posts and it was nice to see you around here, despite the obvious and extremely unfortunate circumstances that brought you here in the first place... I guess what I mean to say is, you brought something special to the SS community, you were always very respectful and a lot of things that you've said have resonated a lot with me, as I'm sure was case with many others here as well. You will be very fondly remembered.

I'm so incredibly sorry that you've had such a difficult run and that it's come to this for you, but I sincerely hope that you will finally be able to get your peace, no matter what form it takes.

Sending a bunch of hugs your way.

 

[hahabye]

Hey. I'm just popping in to wish you a safe and peaceful journey to your eternal holiday, if that's what you truly want.

I unfortunately never got the privilege to talk to you personally, but I enjoyed your posts and it was nice to see you around here, despite the obvious and extremely unfortunate circumstances that brought you here in the first place... I guess what I mean to say is, you brought something special to the SS community, you were always very respectful and a lot of things that you've said have resonated a lot with me, as I'm sure was case with many others here as well. You will be very fondly remembered.

I'm so incredibly sorry that you've had such a difficult run and that it's come to this for you, but I sincerely hope that you will finally be able to get your peace, no matter what form it takes.

Sending a bunch of hugs your way.

Thank you so much for your words. They mean a whole lot to me.

From the few of your posts that I saw, you made an impression of a wonderful person. I wish the circumstances were different and I could get to know you better, despite the unfortunate reasons for why we're here.

Sending a lot of hugs back.

---

Leaving my cats was the most painful thing I have done in my life. If I let myself think about it, I'd fall apart immediately and go straight back home...

...which would eventually lead me back to despair.

So I'm choosing to just act without thinking and do what's best for me. That's so selfish, sorry my babies

 

[Snake of Eden]

Thank you so much for your words. They mean a whole lot to me.

From the few of your posts that I saw, you made an impression of a wonderful person. I wish the circumstances were different and I could get to know you better, despite the unfortunate reasons for why we're here.

Sending a lot of hugs back.

---

Leaving my cats was the most painful thing I have done in my life. If I let myself think about it, I'd fall apart immediately and go straight back home...

...which would eventually lead me back to despair.

So I'm choosing to just act without thinking and do what's best for me. That's so selfish, sorry my babies

You must be close to your timing. I wish you really easy time going through with it and i hope you find the peace and freedom from this world torment <3

 

[LansJ70]

I'm sorry your life has led you here, I wish you peace.

 

[weepingfree]

So I'm choosing to just act without thinking and do what's best for me. That's so selfish, sorry my babies

I support you completely in doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. You deserve to fulfill your wishes. I know it's tempting to think about how others will feel, how much your cats will miss you… but the world will deal with it. Put yourself first.

 

[suicidesheep31]

It was a pleasure to lightly discuss with you today.
I would have wish to know you more. So many questions come to my mind.
I have the feeling that we could relate to each other.
I will think about you, sending you love and peace from where I am.
Take care of you,
HUGS

 

[hahabye]

Thank you all for your birthday message support. You all have made this a lot more bearable. My times is now.

Half wishing it's not going to work. But it will. That's 200ml down there.

I wish all of you all the best. Goodbye.

Mods, if you're reading this, please cross out my name.

 

[weepingfree]

wishing you that eternal holiday

 

[UselessMF]

Farewell my friend, sorry the life comes down to this for you, you seem like a very nice person. Have a nice trip to the other side.

 

[miserableforever]

 

[Gabu1984]

Farewell, the picture makes it even more real. Farewell!!

 

[suicidesheep31]

 

[ClairyFairy]

I'm so sorry that it came to this x

 

[Loneliest]

Safe travels

 

[IWantToSleep]

I wish you peace.

 

[Foogs]

I hope you're at peace, and I'm sorry the world couldn't be the place it should be

 

[Dizzy_Dreams]

I feel so numb to this. Here I am thinking I want N and to die yet I won't buy it but I don't see a life for myself and others are buying N left and right it seems... RIP I hope they went some place peacful

 

[it's_all_a_game]

Rest in peace. You will be sorely missed

 

[Dystopia]

I hope you found peace. Also, I hope your fur babies will be taken care of; they deserve it

 

[Gonjoolie]

I hope you found the peace you were searching for hahabye

 

[S like Siren]

:( Rest in peace precious soul

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

Safe travels, friend. I wish you the best.
Someday I'll join you ❤

 

[noxin]

I'm sorry it had to come to this. Rest in peace.