Going Home - [Goodbye Thread] :)

[Berlin76]

Is there a chance that you willing to share that secret? And how much did you spend?

I have send you a pm check it

I filled myself up on a huge double cheeseburger from Shake Shack and fries before starting my fast so it should last a while. But yes, just a few crackers or I might just eat 1 slice of toasted bread with butter (yum) + tiny bit of tea just for flavor.

Sounds yummie hahahaha

fuck now i am hungry wtf

 

[Meant2Die]

Is there a chance that you willing to share that secret? And how much did you spend?

lol "share the secret" - umm I just did.. newbs...
A will send you an email with prices when you email him, it depends on your location..
OK I'M DONE answering your Qs, like I said, pls read through the hundreds of threads here on this topic, and you'll find all your answers.

 

[etreum]

wish u the best. good luck on the other side

 

[Meant2Die]

Wishing you a safe onward journey to somewhere beautiful

Thanks for being one of those I looked up to here :) Always loved your posts and your thoroughness. Not to mention the N protocol Guide, so helpful!

 

[Berlin76]

Forget him just mind your own thing now hahah.

Have send him some direction

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

First the important details:
I will be leaving tonight, around 2-3am EST US time (unless issues come up and I have to move it to tomorrow night), with N + 1g Dilantin after a 48h Meto regimen + fast. I will top that off with a little swig of alcohol and a nice dark piece of chocolate to help with the taste (I already sampled some of it and HOLY is it bitter).

It's taken over a decade of contemplation, this is NOT a rash decision and this site did not, in any way, influence my decision. It was my own to make and I am happy with my choice. I suffer from a long standing chronic physical/mental illness that is not improving with treatment and is in fact slowly getting worse despite being on the highest doses of intravenous medicines. It has affected and changed every part of my life and despite having to forcibly adapt to what was being thrown at me, I've come to an inevitable dead end. I do not wish to talk about this in detail. God knows the amount of time, money and effort that went into trying to heal. At some point you have to realize it's just not gonna happen for you and thats when N should be available to us all so that we may go on our own terms with dignity while we still can.

Words can not express the immense gratitude I have for this site; the information available here, the community of friendly, knowledgeable and helpful people and of course the Mods/Admins who keep this thing going. You are providing a great services to us all, don't let anyone else tell you different. From the bottom of my heart, I Thank You.

Although probably unnecessary, I just want to confirm everything Ark was reporting regarding the N is true. I am one of the people he's been in contact with since I ordered from A around the same time and, just as Ark, I also received 2 (60ml) plastic bottles. I nearly lost my mind when I saw we were missing 80mls and A wasn't responding back to emails. The delight of having received the product safely quickly faded as I was facing the reality that this mind as well be water, b/c who knows, right? Other than an extreme bitter taste, there wasn't much to go on that this was real. As if going through the entire process of first deciding to take the risk to order, then careful prepping with getting the TOR browser, VPN provider, Proton Mail, Bitcoin, burner phone etc. and actually going through the motions of doing all these things, setting up accounts, writing emails, transferring money, learning how to even use BitCoin (what a pain in the ass that is), waiting impatiently for delivery while mulling over the risks… as if all of that wasn't stressful enough, now I had to figure out and jump through hurdles of sending a sample internationally to get it tested. So that is what I did.
View attachment 23451

Thus, a 2nd confirmation is in order; I am the person Ark mentioned was getting it tested and indeed after weeks of waiting I was happy to inform him that what we had was real N.
A sigh of relief…. that is UNTIL I noticed my caps suddenly started splitting and cracking open on the edge (where the side meets the top) despite being hidden away in a dark safe place, clearly adding to the degradation issue. Just one more unanticipated surprise courtesy of A.... *annoyed face* *eye roll*.
But, why am I complaining that none of this went according to how it should be? Beggars can't be choosers. After all, I have enough to peacefully CTB and that is all that matters. I am usually the one reading about other's good fortune wishing it was me. In this circumstance, I got lucky, I got my hands on the coveted "Liquid Luck" as I affectionately call it (this is a Harry Potter references for you non fans, hehe). I feel truly blessed in a way.

For those who have shared PMs/chat with me regularly, you know who you are. Thank you for your support, kindness, and openness in sharing invaluable information. I love you all.

Since I believe in a soul and an afterlife I cautiously look forward to the next step in my cosmic journey, while at the same time being sad to have to leave earlier than I would have wanted, and scared of the unknown. I will miss my family and my friends. I will miss Life dearly as I really loved it when it was livable.

I will be here tonight until I self ban before I drink my Liquid Luck.

"I hope you all find your way to peace no matter how." - Ark
Meant2Die


"I've hit a wall,
I can't look past it,
Nothing at all,
Nothing to mask it, but
It feels so drastic, but
I cannot panic, so
I get my chance to go,
And hit that fuckin Road"
- song by Hippie Sabotage - Waiting Too Long

I'll miss your posts @Meant2Die . I hope it goes well for you and that it is a painless passing for you. I'm happy for you that you got real N which is the holy grail of ctb. Thanks for the info on N. You were really eloquent. I guess you are a writer or read a lot of books? I need to decide on a method and ctb myself soon. Maybe i'll try your method . thx for the info i'm sure it will help others.

 

[OreoWellington]

I will miss you and your presence around here. You were a great, valued member and contributer to this forum. I am so happy for you that all your hard work to acquire N has paid off. You deserve a peaceful, smooth transition for all that you have been through and for the kind soul that you are.

 

[passenger27]

Good luck and peaceful journeys.

 

[reapandsow918]

Rest easy friend. Thank you for helping me in my time of need. Two great people leaving close together. See you on the other side

ps. Didn't know you were a hippie fan. I love their music too

 

[Azzy69]

Good luck!

 

[Meant2Die]

I'll miss your posts @Meant2Die . I hope it goes well for you and that it is a painless passing for you. I'm happy for you that you got real N which is the holy grail of ctb. Thanks for the info on N. You were really eloquent. I guess you are a writer or read a lot of books? I need to decide on a method and ctb myself soon. Maybe i'll try your method . thx for the info i'm sure it will help others.

Awww thanks. Def don't read a lot of books, lol, but wish I read more. Not a writer (thought of it), but I've always been good with words and thoroughly enjoyed the art of linguistic expression. Not to mention as a Leo (August baby) I have a need for slight exageration and a tinge of melodrama

 

[134340]

Sad to see you go, I've seen your posts around here and it's clear that you're a lovely person. I wish you all the peace on the other side, hopefully things go as planned

 

[Meant2Die]

Rest easy friend. Thank you for helping me in my time of need. Two great people leaving close together. See you on the other side

ps. Didn't know you were a hippie fan. I love their music too

Honestly I just found hippie within the last few weeks. Haven't had time to explore but if their other music is half as good, Ill be missing out.

I will miss you and your presence around here. You were a great, valued member and contributer to this forum. I am so happy for you that all your hard work to acquire N has paid off. You deserve a peaceful, smooth transition for all that you have been through and for the kind soul that you are.

Thank you for your sweet message Oreo (such a great name). I always took to you fondly, mostly b/c I always thought Oreo would be a great black and white cat name... I'm such a normie, haha.. and well you always reminded me of that

 

[Moon Flower]

Rest easy

 

[realjunes]

Meant2Die,
You are a wonderful person and deserve peace and no pain no more. I will miss you. Love and peace to you.

 

[Time]

Hey, Meant2Die. I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving. You were one the first people I talked to when I got here & I'm gonna miss you & your contributions to this site. Thanks for being here. I hope that your exit goes as smoothly as possible & you find that sweet peace. Maybe I'll see you on the other side. Safe travels, Meant2Die.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Peace and smooth journey...

 

[Pan]

N - is Nembutal? If so where did you find it?

I have been trying to find Nembutal myself...if you hear of any vendor, could you please contact me?

 

[Meant2Die]

Meant2Die,
You are a wonderful person and deserve peace and no pain no more. I will miss you. Love and peace to you.

Hey JUNE! Thank you for listening to me vent and being there for me! You are truly one of the givers on this site. One of the kindest people I've met with a heart breaking story! Please take care of this man, he deserves it as he's the one always taking care of everyone else. Love and hugs to you

Hey, Meant2Die. I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving. You were one the first people I talked to when I got here & I'm gonna miss you & your contributions to this site. Thanks for being here. I hope that your exit goes as smoothly as possible & you find that sweet peace. Maybe I'll see you on the other side. Safe travels, Meant2Die.

You were one of my firsts too I'm glad we got through the Meto ordeal together. Thank you for the kind message. I'll def say Hi on the other side when I see you. Safe travels when its your time as well

 

[Shivani]

Wishing you peace and strength...

 

[chris8000]

Wishing that you find complete peace

 

[Farmmaa]

Sweet Dreams and a peaceful exit

 

[less than]

Meant2Die
I've always appreciated your posts here and I'll miss it really. I wish you a peaceful and painless journey and hoping that all goes well for you with your liquid luck ((hugs))

 

[Jean Améry]

I'm sorry you had to suffer so much and things didn't improve despite your best efforts but I'm glad you're composed and are in possession of the means for a humane method.

Thanks for the information you so graciously shared. Safe journey. I hope what you desire is waiting for you.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish for you peace.

 

[56709]

Glad you've gotten everything in place, Mean2Die
May you find peace in your decision...
I didn't interact with you personally, but will miss reading your posts.

Goodnight.​

 

[Meant2Die]

About to drink my Liquid Luck and self banning now!
"Goodbyes, good times, L. O. V. E. is all for you"

 

[Farmmaa]

BTW - I've now been craving toast with butter all night !!

 

[Soul]

@Meant2Die, I'm sorry life wasn't a better fit, and sorry your quest for N was so fraught with peril. But you pulled on through like a hero, and have helped a great many people here. I hope you have a comfortable and secure place to take your N, and that it smooths your journey to what awaits you. (((Hug)))

 

[2211264]